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The path to fatherhood is unique and full of individual choices and circumstances, and for gay dads looking to start or expand their families, egg donation can be an essential part of this journey. As you navigate the world of egg donor agencies, myriad questions might arise. Here's a detailed guide with some of the top questions to ask your egg donor agency as a gay dad.

1. Understanding the process

What is the entire egg donation process and timeline?

Understanding the full process from selecting an egg donor to implanting the embryo is crucial. Make sure the agency explains each step, the involved costs, legal aspects, and the expected timeframe.

What experience do you have with gay parents?

Understanding how the agency supports gay dads can provide valuable insights into their experience and capabilities in assisting gay couples.

Can you help me find a clinic?

Partnering with the right clinic is a critical aspect of the journey to fatherhood. Ask the agency if they have affiliations or can provide recommendations for reputable fertility clinics. Their experience and network in the field can guide you to a facility that aligns with your needs, location, and values, ensuring a cohesive and supportive process from start to finish.

2. Choosing an egg donor

What criteria are used to approve your egg donors?

Ask about the screening process, including medical, genetic, AMH, psychological, and background checks. Understanding the agency's criteria will provide you with assurance about the quality and suitability of potential donors.

Can I meet the egg donor?

This question is vital if you want to know more about the donor's personality, motivation, and background. Some agencies allow this, while others may only provide non-identifiable information. (At Cofertility, we do offer virtual match meetings).

Read more in Should I Meet My Potential Egg Donor? 

3. Financial aspects

What are your fees and when are they due?

The entire egg donation process can be expensive, so make sure to ask for a detailed breakdown of all costs, including the agency's fees, legal fees, and any other unexpected expenses. Keep in mind that medical expenses are usually dependent on the clinic you work with and not the egg donation agency. Learn more about Cofertility pricing here. 

What payment plans or financial assistance are available?

If cost is a concern, explore payment options or if they can recommend any available financial assistance programs. At Cofertility, we've partnered with lenders to offer you fertility financial resources. Sunfish offers the most comprehensive marketplace of financial options for egg donor IVF.

How are the donor’s expenses handled?

Do they offer an escrow account to easily facilitate payments related to the donor’s egg retrieval? 

What if I want to do two cycles?

Is there a reduced cost for a second cycle? At Cofertility, the answer is yes. 

4. Legalities and contracts

What legal agreements are required?

Understanding the legal landscape of egg donation is paramount. Inquire about necessary contracts and whether legal consultation is provided or recommended.

What happens if the donor withdraws or can't proceed?

Make sure you understand the contingencies if the chosen donor is unable to proceed.

Do you offer a baby guarantee?

What happens if the egg donor cycle does not lead to a baby? Will the agency help match you again? (At Cofertility, the answer is YES). 

If the donor is out of state, do I need to switch clinics to one near her?

Some agencies, like ours, make matches nationwide. You’ll want to know how that works if you already have an existing clinic. If you match with one of our donors, we’ll work with both parties to determine the best place to conduct her testing, monitoring, and retrieval. In some cases, we will complete the donor’s testing and monitoring at a clinic close to her home to eliminate travel and can have the eggs shipped to your clinic. In other cases, donors will travel to your clinic for the retrieval.

5. Other important details

How does your agency support the donor?

Understanding how the egg donor is supported throughout the process is a reflection of the agency's professionalism and care. Ask about the educational, medical, and emotional support provided to the donors, including counseling, support, and follow-up care. This question ensures that you align with an agency that respects and takes proper care of all parties involved in this deeply personal process.

What emotional support is available?

The journey to parenthood through egg donation can be emotionally taxing. Ask about available counseling or support groups that are sensitive to the unique needs of gay dads.

What are the agency's ethical policies?

Understanding the agency's stance on ethical issues, such as compensation for donors, informed consent, and privacy, is crucial. 

Are you part of SEEDS or any other industry organizations?

SEEDS is a nonprofit organization founded by a group of egg donation and surrogacy agencies, whose purpose is to define and promote ethical behavior by all parties involved in third party reproduction. Cofertility is a proud member.

Choosing to create a family through egg donation is a beautiful journey, and as a gay dad, you may face unique questions and considerations. The above guide can help you navigate the sometimes complex world of egg donation, but remember, these questions are just a starting point.

Every family's journey is different, and you may have concerns specific to your situation. Don't hesitate to ask those questions, too. Open communication with your chosen agency is vital in ensuring that they can meet your individual needs and expectations.

As you embark on this incredible journey to fatherhood, arm yourself with knowledge, seek support where needed, and trust in the professionals guiding your path. The road may be complex, but the joy of holding your child in your arms is a destination that promises to make the entire journey worthwhile.

Remember, becoming a parent is not just about genetics; it's about love, commitment, and the capacity to provide a nurturing environment. Your decision to explore egg donation is a significant step toward fulfilling your dream of fatherhood, and asking the right questions will help you make informed and confident choices along the way.

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!