LGBTQ+ family building

If you’ve decided you’re ready to use donor eggs to have a baby, but you’re still unsure whether fresh donor eggs or frozen eggs are the right choice, it’s likely you have a lot of questions about the difference between the two options. After all, picking an egg donor is overwhelming enough; deciding between whether to use fresh or frozen donor eggs shouldn’t add another layer of confusion to the process. 

We’ll break down exactly what you need to know about the two different methods and how to choose which one is right for you. 

Fresh donor eggs: pros and cons

When talking about the difference between fresh donor eggs and frozen donor eggs, it’s important to remember that one of the key points is that “fresh” donor eggs haven’t yet been retrieved. Using fresh donor eggs means that the oocytes (eggs) are retrieved only after you match with a donor.

There are several reasons some intended parents choose to use fresh donor eggs, especially if both your budget and timing are flexible. 

First, you may have access to a higher number of eggs from a fresh donor cycle compared to a frozen egg batch. When using a fresh egg donor, she will go through an IVF cycle. This means that there is the potential to have more eggs available from a fresh egg donor cycle than you would receive in a frozen donor egg “batch”. With Family by Co, our egg donors split the yield of retrieved eggs and freeze their half for their own reproductive future — while donating half to your family.

Frozen donor eggs: pros and cons

If you are using frozen donor eggs, the retrieval process has already taken place (so you may be skipping a waiting period), and you can begin the fertilization and implantation process shortly after selecting your donor. This method can possibly cut time from your process and make becoming a parent all that much closer to becoming a reality.

Because a frozen donor has completed most or all of her medical screening in advance of matching, it can bring a little more certainty to the process. With screening results in hand, you’ll have more certainty over whether a donor is the right fit for your family-building goals from the outset. 

However, if you’re hoping to have more than one child, you may not have access to as many frozen eggs as you’d like. Typically, when frozen donor eggs are used they are released in batches of around six—with the option to use multiple batches if they are available. 

Fresh donor eggs vs frozen donor eggs: which is right for you?

Ultimately, for many intended parents, the choice between a fresh or frozen egg donor often comes down to finding the right donor. Both options have their merits, and the best choice for you will depend on your specific circumstances, preferences, and the connection you feel with potential donors.

If you're open to either journey, we recommend exploring both options. Consider your priorities:

• Is time a critical factor for you? If so, frozen egg donation might be your best bet.
• Do you feel strongly about using fresh eggs? Then fresh egg donation could be the way to go.
• Is the ability to meet your donor before the retrieval important to you? With donors in our  fresh egg donation program, you could have this opportunity.
• Are you looking for the highest level of financial protection? The Frozen Baby Guarantee might be particularly appealing.
  

At Cofertility, we're committed to supporting you through every step of your journey, regardless of which program you choose. Our team is here to answer your questions, address your concerns, and help you navigate this important decision.

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Roughly 20% of single-parent households are single fathers, a group that has grown substantially in the past few decades. This translates to over 2.2 million single-parent households being led by dads (unfortunately the census doesn't ask how many of those men are single dads by choice). Research shows that single fathers provide healthy and supportive environments for their children, and actually spend more time with their children than do fathers in any other family structure.

How to have a child as a single dad by choice

There are a few options for building your family as a single dad by choice. Adoption and foster care are available domestically, and some international countries allow single-parent adoption. A single man who wants to be genetically related to their child can pursue egg donation, coupled with a gestational carrier (often called a “surrogate”) who carries the pregnancy but does not have shared genetics with the child. Both of these options take time and money, but are well worth the effort.

As egg donation and surrogacy become more widely available, the number of single fathers by choice is increasing – and we are proud to serve this incredible group of intended parents! 

Considerations for anyone considering parenthood

There are two major considerations that any parent – single or coupled – must think about on their path to parenthood.

The first is the financial costs of having and raising a child. These costs vary widely depending on location and preferences. The Brookings Institution found that the cost to raise a child from birth is $310,605 per child (for a middle-class family with two children). Of course, if you live in a major city like San Francisco or New York City, expect that number to at least double. This also does not include the cost of college, an expense that continues to increase. 

The second consideration is support. Parenting, especially in the early days, is a full-time role. Think about your village, and what you need to fully support your future family. Do you live near family members who are willing to help? If you work, will the child attend daycare or will you hire a nanny? Think about the day-to-day and how you will juggle parenthood with everything else in your life. 

Advice from the daughter of a single dad

I was raised by a single father (albeit by divorce and not by choice). I had a happy upbringing, and am very close to my father to this day. One of my fondest memories is when we fixed up a vintage car together. My dad shared his life passions with me (namely cars) and I had plenty of family and friends to round out my exposure to other interests. The best part of our relationship had nothing to do with his status as a single dad. In fact, I don’t even think about him that way. He’s just my dad – a loving, supportive, dorky parent who helped shape me into the person I am today. 

Resources

• Men Having Babies is a non-profit dedicated to providing gay men with educational and financial support to achieve parenthood; we love their events and attend their annual conference!
• The National Council for Adoption has great resources for pursuing single parent adoption
• The Single Parents Alliance of America (SPAA) is comprised of information resources, programs and savings for single parents across the United States
• The Single Fathers By Choice Facebook group is an online support community of over 1,000 people who have decided to become parents on their own
• SoloParent.org is a site run by a single-dad to support solo parents of faith. They also offer online and in-person support groups
• Single Parent Advocate is a non-profit committed to educating, equipping and empowering single parents with resources, practical assistance, emotional encouragement and social networking to better their lives, and those of their children
• Parents Without Partners (PWP) is a non-profit providing single parents and their children with an opportunity for enhancing personal growth, self-confidence, and sensitivity towards others by offering an environment for support, friendship and the exchange of parenting techniques
• Fatherly is the leading digital media brand for dads
• Fatherhood.gov is a site for dads looking for tips, hints, and even deals for dads and kids
• Nathan Chan is the single dad and influencer behind the lifestyle blog Single Daddy By Choice

At Cofertility, we honor your choice to pursue egg donation and support many single fathers. Our donors aren’t doing it for the cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family. 

As someone raised by a single father, I know first hand that single dads are more than capable of raising happy, healthy children. If we can help you build your family, please reach out!

Raising children as a gay dad can come with its own set of challenges and joys. From egg donation and surrogacy, to dealing with societal stereotypes and discrimination, gay dads often have to navigate a unique set of experiences. That's why it's important to have a support system and resources to help guide you through the journey of fatherhood. 

One such resource is reading books written by other gay dads or experts on the subject. In this article, we've compiled a list of the five best books for gay dads-to-be, covering everything from the legal and practical aspects of building a family, to personal reflections and experiences of raising children. These books offer support, guidance, and understanding for the gay dad experience, and promote acceptance and love for all types of families. We hope they help guide and support you on this journey! 

“The Ultimate Guide for Gay Dads: Everything You Need to Know About LGBTQ Parenting But Are (Mostly) Afraid to Ask” by Eric Rosswood 

The book: This book provides a comprehensive guide for gay dads on the journey to parenthood, covering topics such as egg donation, surrogacy, adoption, and co-parenting. It also includes practical advice on navigating the unique challenges of raising children as a gay parent.

The author: Eric Rosswood is a gay dad, author, and advocate for LGBTQ+ families. He has been featured in various media outlets and is a regular speaker on the subject of gay parenting. He is a dedicated parent and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and is passionate about sharing his experiences and helping others on their journey to parenthood.

Why we love it: The author writes from personal experience and provides practical advice on a wide range of topics. The book is also very accessible and well-organized!

“Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?: Confessions of a Gay Dad” by Dan Bucatinsky

The book: A collection of snort-milk-through-your-nose funny stories of parenthood that will obliterate the boundaries of gender and sexual orientation, and sweep readers up on a journey into fatherhood—warts and all.

The author: Dan Bucatinsky wrote, produced, and starred in the indie romantic comedy All Over the Guy and is currently a co-creator and co-star of the acclaimed web-to-television Showtime series Web Therapy. He continues to act, write, and produce for film and television. He lives in California.

Why we love it: We love the author’s vulnerability and candidness in sharing his personal story. He writes with humor and sincerity, and it makes for a very relatable and engaging read. 

"Gay Dads: A Celebration of Fatherhood" by David Strah

The book:  This book features interviews and photographs of gay dads from around the world, providing a glimpse into the diverse and rewarding experiences of gay fatherhood.

The author: Gay Dads includes twenty-five personal accounts from men describing their unique journeys to fatherhood and the struggles and successes they have experienced as they raise their children. It was put together by gay dad David Strah, who has two masters degrees; one in Clinical Psychology and the other in Spiritual Psychology.

Why we love it: While it’s a little old (published in 2004), this iconic book provides an expansive exploration into the lives of families led by two men. With beautiful black-and-white photographs of each of the families, Gay Dads is a moving tribute to familial love.

“Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood: Firsthand Advice, Tips and Stories from Lesbian and Gay Couples” by Eric Rosswood

The book: Author, activist and father Eric Rosswood guides and helps prospective LGBTQ+ parents to explore these five popular options: Adoption, Foster Care, Assisted Reproduction, Surrogacy and Co-Parenting. Each section includes a description of the specific family-building approach, followed by personal stories from same-sex couples and individuals who have chosen and gone through that particular journey.

The author: Eric Rosswood (also author of the first book listed in this article).

Why we love it: We were moved by the 19 compelling first-person vignettes shared by individuals and couples who were able to create their families in spite of the challenges they faced.

“Three Dads and a Baby: Adventures in Modern Parenting” by Ian Jenkins 

The book: This book details the adventures of three dads, and the two women who help them have children. The author explores the legal and social tribulations, adventures, and triumphs of his unconventional family. This charming book is required reading for laypeople to legal scholars and anyone else who is interested in getting lots of information about expanded families in an entertainingly smart style.

The authors: Ian Jenkins, M.D., is a hospital physician, quality and safety specialist, and professor of medicine at the University of California, San Diego. He is part of a gay throuple that made history as the first polyamorous family to list three fathers on birth certificate

Why we love it: This is the only book out there on throuple parenting!

"And Tango Makes Three" by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

The book: "And Tango Makes Three" is a heartwarming children's book that tells the true story of two male penguins at the Central Park Zoo in New York City who raise a baby penguin named Tango.

The authors: Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell are a married couple who co-wrote "And Tango Makes Three" based on the real-life story of the penguins, Roy and Silo, who formed a bond and successfully hatched an egg together at the zoo.

Why we love it: We love how "And Tango Makes Three" celebrates love, diversity, and family in a gentle and accessible way for young readers. The story of two male penguins raising a baby penguin challenges traditional gender roles and helps children understand that families come in all shapes and sizes. The illustrations are beautiful, and the writing is simple yet powerful, making it a great-read aloud book for parents or teachers.

Overall, "And Tango Makes Three" is a touching and thought-provoking children's book that promotes tolerance, acceptance, and love. It's a great resource for families who want to teach their children about different kinds of families and the importance of love and acceptance. We highly recommend it!

Not ready to add another book to your reading list? You can also find loads of free articles on egg donation and LGBTQ+ parenting on our site. 

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. 

So, you’re ready to become a parent and want to know what you don’t know. That’s okay! Becoming a parent is a huge life change for anyone, and requires a lot of planning and thought. At Cofertility, we work with gay dads on a regular basis. Here are some helpful questions you and your partner can discuss as you begin your journey. 

The tactics: how will you build your family?

There are several options for becoming a gay dad, including egg donation and surrogacy, adoption, fostering, and co-parenting. Each option has its own unique set of pros and cons, so it's important to research and consider them carefully before making a decision.

• Egg donation and surrogacy: Gay dads can become parents through egg donation and surrogacy. This can be an expensive and complex process, but it allows gay dads to have a biological connection to their child. So which comes first - finding an egg donor or finding a surrogate? Read this article to find out. 
• Adoption: Gay dads can adopt children through the public or private adoption process. In some states and countries, same-sex couples have the same legal rights to adopt as opposite-sex couples, while in others, there may be additional challenges and limitations.
• Fostering: Gay dads can also become parents by fostering children who are in need of a temporary or permanent home. This can be a great way to provide a child with a stable and loving environment while also building a family.
• Co-parenting: Gay dads can also become parents by co-parenting, where they raise a child together with another gay or straight person. This can be a great way for single gay dads to become parents and create a family, but it requires clear communication and a strong support system to be successful.

It's important to research and consider all options carefully, and to consult with professionals, such as lawyers and social workers, to understand the legal and practical considerations of each option.

How will you navigate the legal aspects of becoming a gay dad?

Becoming a gay dad can come with a number of legal challenges. It's important to research and understand the laws and regulations in your state or country.

Here are some steps to help:

• Research the laws and regulations: It's important to understand the laws and regulations surrounding gay adoption, surrogacy, and co-parenting in your state or country. Research the requirements and processes for each option, as well as any restrictions or limitations that may apply.
• Consult with a lawyer: Consider consulting with a lawyer who specializes in LGBTQ+ family law. They can provide guidance on the legal process and help navigate any challenges or obstacles that may arise. If you work with Cofertility, we can recommend lawyers we trust. 
• Seek out resources: You are not alone! There are many resources available to help gay dads navigate the legal aspects of building a family. Consider reaching out to local LGBTQ+ organizations, joining support groups, and using online resources to connect with other gay dads.
• Make a plan: Make a detailed plan that covers the legal aspects of the process, and include contingencies for any unexpected situations.

Which partner will play what role?

In families led by two dads, just like in any other family, each parent plays a unique and important role in the upbringing and development of their children.

One dad may take on the role of the primary caregiver, handling the day-to-day responsibilities of raising the children such as feeding, bathing, and dressing them. This dad may also be the one who takes the lead in organizing and coordinating activities for the family, such as playdates, school events, and extracurricular activities.

The other dad may take on the role of the primary breadwinner, working outside of the home to financially support the family. This dad may also be the one who takes the lead in teaching the children important life skills such as budgeting, managing money, and planning for the future.

Both dads may also share responsibilities for providing emotional support, guidance, and discipline for their children. They may also take turns in being the one who is available to attend important events or activities in their child's life.

It's also important to note that these roles may change and evolve over time as the needs and dynamic of the family change. But mapping out these roles ahead of time will make the transition to parenthood even smoother. 

The most important thing is that both dads are loving, supportive, and actively involved in the children's lives.

What paternity leave do you have?

Paternity leave (and maternity leave, for that matter) is woefully inadequate in the United States. And it can be especially challenging for gay dads to navigate. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Research your rights: Laws and regulations surrounding paternity leave for gay dads can vary greatly by state or country. It's important to research and understand the laws and regulations in your area, and to consult with a lawyer if necessary.
• Understand your employer’s policies: Some employers may have more progressive policies for paternity leave for gay dads, while others may not have any policies in place. It's important to understand your employer's policies and to discuss your needs with your supervisor or human resources department.
• Plan ahead: If you are planning to have a child through egg donation and surrogacy, adoption or co-parenting, it's important to plan ahead and to discuss your paternity leave needs with your employer well in advance. This will help ensure that you have the time and support you need to bond with your child and to take care of any necessary logistics.
• Consider using Paid Time Off (PTO): Many employers may not have a specific policy for paternity leave for gay dads, but they may have a general PTO policy that can be used for this purpose. Consider taking turns using PTO. 
• Look into paternity leave advocacy groups: There may be advocacy groups that can help you navigate your rights and options when it comes to paternity leave as a gay dad. Research and reach out to these groups for guidance and support.
• Be prepared for potential discrimination: Unfortunately, discrimination can still happen in the workplace, be prepared for it and have a plan of action to deal with it.

How will you pay for the high cost of parenthood in the United States?

It goes without saying – having a child and raising a child are expensive endeavors. 

Each option for becoming a gay dad comes with its own set of costs, such as legal fees, agency fees, medical expenses, and more. It's important to have a realistic understanding of the expenses involved and to plan accordingly. (An egg donor journey with Cofertility will cost around $12,500 plus any expenses from your clinic associated with the donor’s screening, medication, egg retrieval, and your donor’s travel expenses). 

The costs don’t stop at having a baby. From the day your baby is born until the day they turn 18, your family will spend about $310,605 — or about $17,000 a year, according to a Brookings Institution analysis. Of course, this number is much higher if you live in certain cities or decide to hire a nanny or put your child in private school. It’s important for you and your partner to map out and estimate what these costs will be so you’re fully prepared. There may be financial assistance available to help cover the costs of becoming a gay dad, such as grants or loans. We highly recommend considering all your options.

How will you talk to your child about their family and their origin story?

Having open and honest conversations with your child about their family and their origin story is important. Children may have unique questions and concerns, and it's important to be prepared to address them in a way that is age-appropriate and sensitive. Here are some tips to help guide these conversations:

• Be open and honest: Be prepared to address conversations in an open and honest manner. Being transparent with your child will help them understand and normalize their family dynamic.
• Use age-appropriate language: It's important to use language that is age-appropriate when talking to your child about their family and their origin story. Use simple, clear language that your child can understand, and be prepared to answer questions in a way that is appropriate for their age and developmental stage.
• Encourage questions: Encourage your child to ask questions and express their thoughts and feelings. This will help them feel more comfortable and confident in discussing their family and origin story.
• Use resources: Consider using resources, such as books and videos, to help guide these conversations. There are many children's books available that explore different family structures and can be a great tool for discussing family dynamics with your child.
• Create a positive narrative: Create a positive narrative around your child's family and origin story. Emphasize the love and care that went into building your family, and remind your child that they are deeply loved and valued.
• Be prepared to talk about discrimination and bias: Although we hope your family doesn’t have to deal with this, discrimination and bias may still happen. Be prepared to talk about it with your child and to have a support system to help you navigate it.
• Keep the conversation going: These conversations about family and origin story are ongoing, and it's important to keep the lines of communication open with your child. As they grow and develop, they may have new questions and thoughts to share, and it's important to be there for them.

Remember, every child is different and will have their own way to process and understand their family and origin story, be open and understanding of their feelings and always let them know that they are loved and valued. With open and honest communication, you can help your child feel comfortable and confident in their family dynamic.

How will you create a supportive and nurturing environment for your child?

Creating a supportive and nurturing environment for your child is essential. This means providing a stable and loving home, fostering open communication, and encouraging your child to explore their interests and passions. It also means surrounding yourself with a strong support system of friends, family, and professionals who can provide guidance and support as you navigate the challenges of being a gay dad.

Here are some tips to help you create a loving and supportive home for your child:

• Provide a stable and loving home: A child's home should be a safe and secure place where they feel loved and valued. 
• Foster open communication: Encourage open communication with your child and make sure they feel comfortable coming to you with any questions or concerns. This will help them develop trust in you and feel more secure in their home environment.
• Encourage exploration and independence: Children should be encouraged to explore their interests and passions. This helps them develop their own sense of self, and learn about their own abilities and interests.
• Create a positive family culture: Create a positive family culture by fostering a sense of belonging and connection among family members. This can be done by spending quality time together, celebrating family milestones and traditions, and promoting a sense of unity and mutual respect.
• Surround yourself with a support system: It's important to have a strong support system of friends, family, and professionals who can provide guidance and support as you navigate the challenges of being a parent. This will help ensure that your child is well cared for and that you have the support you need to be the best parent you can be.
• Set boundaries and rules: Clear boundaries and rules are important for creating a safe and secure environment for your child. This includes setting boundaries for behavior, setting limits for technology use, and creating a consistent schedule for meals and bedtime.
• Show love and affection: Show your child love and affection on a regular basis. This can be done through hugs, kisses, and verbal affirmations. This will help your child feel secure and loved, and will create a strong emotional bond between you and your child.

Becoming a gay dad can be a rewarding and fulfilling journey, but it also comes with its own set of unique challenges. By researching your options, building a strong support system, understanding the legal and financial aspects, talking to your child about their family and origin story, and creating a supportive and nurturing environment, you can help ensure a successful and happy family.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.

Cofertility works hard to recommend products and services that align with our brand mission of improving the family-building process for all. We sometimes earn a sales commission or advertising fee when recommending various products and services to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Always be sure to consult with a doctor if you have any concerns. Prices and terms listed on our website are subject to change.

If you are considering using an egg donor to start a family, or have already done so, you may find it helpful to learn more about the donor egg parenting process by reading books on the topic. Reading books on egg donation can help you to understand the process of having and raising a donor conceived child. It can also help you to gain insight into the experiences of others who have gone through the process, which may be helpful as you navigate your own decision-making process.

Below is a list of some of our favorite books on egg donation – both for those considering using donor eggs, as well as those raising donor conceived children. We also share some of our favorite children’s books on the topics. Happy reading!

Best books for parents considering using donor eggs

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"Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation" by Ellen Sarasohn Glazer & Evelina Weidman Sterling

The book: Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation (Second Edition) is an authoritative guide to negotiating the complex and emotive issues that arise for those considering whether or not to pursue egg donation. It presents information clearly and with compassion, exploring the practical, financial, logistical, social and ethical questions that commonly arise. 

The authors: Ellen Sarasohn Glazer is a clinical social worker specializing in infertility, adoption, third party reproduction, pregnancy loss and parenting after infertility. The long awaited arrivals of daughters Elizabeth and Mollie inspired Ellen's work in the field of reproductive medicine. Evelina Weidman Sterling works as a public health educator and researcher specializing in reproductive and women's health issues. 

Why we love it: This book spells it all out – including the ethical and emotional aspects of egg donation. After reading it, you will be in a far better position to decide if this family building option is right for you and, if so, to proceed as a more empowered parent. 

"Donor Family Matters" by Wendy Kramer

The book: Donor Family Matters: My Story of Raising a Profoundly Gifted Donor-Conceived Child, Redefining Family, and Building the Donor Sibling Registry is the story of Wendy's journey as the mother of a donor conceived profoundly gifted child, Ryan, whose relentless curiosity—under the tenacious guidance and support of his mother— led to his reunion against all odds not only with his biological father, Donor 1058, but also with 19 of his donor conceived half-siblings scattered across the continent.

The author: Wendy is the Co-Founder, Chair, and Executive Director of the Donor Sibling Registry. She has co-authored many published papers on donor-conception, has reviewed abstracts for ASRM and has also been a peer reviewer for the journals Human Reproduction, Reproductive BioMedicine Online, Frontiers in Global Women's Health, and the Journal of Comparative Effectiveness Research. She was Associate Producer on the Style Network's 2011 Emmy-nominated show Sperm Donor and on MTV News & Docs 2013 docu-series Generation Cryo. Wendy and her son Ryan have appeared on 60 Minutes, Oprah, Good Morning America, and many other news shows and publications.

Why we love it: This memoir provides a raw and honest account of raising a donor-conceived child as a single mother, and helping her son be the first donor-conceived person to find his biological father (donor) via a commercial DNA test, in 2005. 

Best books for parents raising donor-conceived children

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"Let’s Talk about Egg Donation" by Marna Gatlin

The book: Let’s Talk about Egg Donation: Real Stories from Real People tells true stories of families who are parenting via egg and embryo donation. Their stories are woven throughout the book to craft an informative, easy-to-read narrative that focuses on positive language choices.

The author: Marna Gatlin is the founder and Executive Director of Parents via Egg Donation (PVED), a non-profit organization created to provide an informational and supportive environment where parents and parents-to-be can learn and share information about all facets of the egg donation process.
Why we love it: This is the first book written by parents through egg donation that gives you age-appropriate scripts for how to take the scary out of talking to your kids about the special way in which they were conceived.

"Three Makes Baby" by Jana M. Rupnow LPC

The book: Three Makes Baby: How to Parent Your Donor-Conceived Child offers education and awareness so parents can guide their donor conceived children through various stages of development with age-appropriate conversations.

The author: Jana M. Rupnow, LPC is an internationally recognized fertility mental health expert and author. She received a bachelor of science from Texas A&M University and a master of arts, in professional counseling from Amber University. Jana has a master's degree in professional counseling and has practiced as a licensed professional counselor since 2010. Jana has helped thousands of people facing the psychological and social challenges of infertility as well as those preparing for third-party family building and adoption. She also knows what it's like to experience infertility. She and her husband had male-factor, secondary infertility and adopted their daughter from China. 

Why we love it: This book is often recommended by fertility doctors and fertility mental health professionals – and there’s a reason why. The author uses research and best practices to lay out solid advice for parents of donor-conceived children.

Best children’s books about egg donation

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"From the Start" by Stephanie Levich

The book: From the Start: A Book About Love and Making Families is an inclusive and heartfelt love letter to adopted children and children born through the help of fertility treatments such as IVF, sperm and egg donation, or surrogacy. The book focuses on hope and gratitude to highlight the special roles fertility doctors, donors, surrogates, and adoption play in helping hopeful parents start or grow their families. 

The authors: Alana Weiss and Stephanie Levich have been best friends since they were teenagers and are both mothers as a result of IVF. They have always been open about their fertility challenges and feel deeply grateful for their children and the extraordinary way they were conceived. Additionally, Stephanie is the founder of Family Match Consulting, an internationally renowned fertility consulting firm based in Los Angeles that specializes in egg/ sperm donation and surrogacy. She is also an adoptee.

Why we love it: The ways that we build our families are more dynamic than ever – this book highlights how special each of those paths can be. 

"Happy Together" by Julie Marie

The book: Happy Together, an egg donation story uses clear language and cheerful illustrations to join Mommy and Daddy bear on the journey to fulfill their greatest wish of becoming parents. With help from a doctor, an egg from a special lady called a donor and Daddy’s seed, a baby grew in Mommy’s tummy and was welcomed with great joy.

The author: As a mother through egg donation, author Julie Marie found various paths to parenthood were underrepresented in children's literature. Julie wrote Happy Together to help parents share their special family building story with their child.

Why we love it: This tender book is a favorite amongst donor-egg parents, and it’s no surprise. The story is simple enough for even young kids to understand, yet it explains the process of donor eggs well. 

"A tiny itsy bitsy gift of life" by Carmen Martínez Jover

The book: A tiny itsy bitsy gift of life, an egg donor story is a touching story of how a happy couple of rabbits have their own baby by means of egg donation. Using rabbits in this story enables children to easily understand their conception in a simple and loving way. It is through storytelling that parents can explain and help children understand these infertility treatments.

The author: Carmen Martínez Jover was born in Walton-on Thames, Surrey, England and now  lives in Mexico City. Her years of infertility prompted her to paint the roller coaster of emotions through an autobiography. As an adoptive mother she believes that storytelling can help parents share their children’s conception story and wrote this story for children conceived through egg donation.

Why we love it: We know it’s important to talk to donor-conceived children early and often about their conception story, and this book is a great way to do that. Using rabbits in this story enables children to easily understand their conception in a simple and loving way. 

"You Were Meant For Me" by Sheri Sturniolo

The book: You Were Meant For Me: Mom*Dad*Donor shows how the love and generosity of others can grow into the most wonderful gift. This book is a kid-friendly look into the unique ways that some families are grown and the journey of love that brings them together.

The author: Sheri Sturniolo is a Pediatric Registered Nurse and mother to a son and daughter—both born through the awesome gift of donors. Through her personal journey and experiences, Sheri hopes to offer a valuable tool to families searching for ways to make sense of their unique creation story. Sheri lives with her husband, son and daughter (both conceived through embryo adoption) in the San Diego area.

Why we love it: Using symbolism and sweet rhyming lyrics, You Were Meant For Me introduces the complicated topic of being born from sperm, egg or embryo donation, to a young child. By giving children the “pieces of the puzzle,” this book sparks their imagination and stimulates them to ask questions.

"Wish" by Matthew Cordell

The book: Wish is about an elephant couple that embarks on a life together, with thoughts of children far away—at first. But as the desire for a child grows, so do unexpected challenges. And it's only after thwarted plans and bitter disappointment that their deepest wish miraculously comes true.

The author: Matthew Cordell is the acclaimed author and illustrator of the 2018 Caldecott winner Wolf in the Snow. He is also the author and illustrator of Trouble Gum and the illustrator of If the S in Moose Comes Loose, Toot Toot Zoom!, Mighty Casey, Righty and Lefty, and Toby and the Snowflakes, which was written by his wife.

Why we love it: Although this book does not specifically discuss egg donation, it beautifully illustrates the angst of waiting for a child, the fear that it may not happen, and the joy when the wish finally comes true. It will make any parent who struggled with infertility tear up!

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Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. 

‍Create a free account today!

When conducting your initial research on egg donation you were most likely focused on the short-term process like how to find the right match for your family. But now you might specifically want to know more about the long-term experiences of parents and children in families created using egg donation once the baby arrives. 

As a fertility psychologist, I often get asked what it feels like to have a baby born via egg donation, and if the baby will feel like their child or if they will be able to bond. In this guide, we’ll go over several studies that illustrate the parent-child relationship in families created using egg donation, and hopefully give you peace of mind!

Infant days: bonding with your donor-conceived child

No matter how your child is conceived, the answers to these questions are not black and white. Because just like any other pregnancy, some parents immediately feel a parental connection, even while their child is in-utero. And for some it may take months post-delivery. And even once the baby arrives, it can be very normal to feel uncertain about having a baby using someone else’s DNA. But these feelings tend to dissipate. A recent study conducted in 2020 found that women who were pregnant via egg donation had concerns about whether the child would feel like their own, but by the end of the first year, they felt secure and confident as the child’s mother. 

Early childhood: relationship satisfaction 

In terms of parental psychological health, studies have established that egg donation parents are psychologically well-adjusted in terms of their levels of depression, anxiety, parenting stress, and relationship quality with their partner. They also reported lower levels of parenting stress compared with IVF and sperm donation parents when children were ages three to eight years old.  And, egg donation mothers reported greater relationship satisfaction than IVF and sperm donation mothers. Similarly, fathers' depression scores did not differ between family types, but egg donation fathers reported lower levels of anxiety than comparison groups. At age 12, no differences were found between family types in mothers' levels of depression, anxiety, or relationship satisfaction. So basically, parental psychological health is not much impacted by how their baby was born. 

Another study also found no differences between egg donation, sperm donation, and natural conception mothers or fathers in levels of parenting stress, depression, anxiety, or relationship satisfaction when children were one year of age. At ages two and three, no differences were found between family types for mothers or fathers on any of the psychological health measures. When children were age 10, egg donation mothers did not differ in their scores for maternal distress compared with sperm donation or natural conception mothers.

A US-based study of 31 egg donation families with a child aged six months to five years found that when assessing family interactions, the sample scored lower than norms on conflict scores, and higher than norms on cohesion scores. Meaning, parents whose child was born via egg donation had better perceptions of interpersonal relationships within the family than a normative sample.

Parents whose child was born via egg donation had better perceptions of interpersonal relationships within the family than a normative sample.

Another study found that egg donation mothers expressed greater enjoyment in motherhood and greater warmth toward their infant than natural conception mothers, and greater pleasure in proximity to the infant. Greater emotional involvement with the baby was also found among gamete donation parents compared with natural conception parents.

How do children feel about being donor-conceived? 

What about the emerging research on donor conceived children’s perspectives of the quality of their relationships with their parents and their own psychological well-being? The European Study of Assisted Reproduction found children conceived through egg donation to be well-adjusted in terms of their socioemotional development at ages both three to eight years of age and at age 12. 

Relationship quality collected using a semistructured interview designed to obtain children's perspectives on family relationships indicated that children in egg donation, sperm donation, and natural conception families viewed their parents similarly in terms of their affection, harshness, and anger. No differences were found between groups at either age in children's interview ratings of maternal or paternal warmth and affection, availability, or amount of interests/activities shared with parents. Unlike in natural conception families, egg donation children did not report a decline in shared activities with their mothers and fathers between the two timepoints. And in another study, when children were asked about whether they would change anything about their family, the vast majority said that they would keep their family the same as it is, suggesting contentment with their current situation.

When [donor-conceived] children were asked about whether they would change anything about their family, the vast majority said that they would keep their family the same as it is, suggesting contentment with their current situation

Longitudinal research shows that children born via egg donation do not differ in their psychological adjustment from children born through other forms of assisted reproduction or through natural conception. At all timepoints egg donation, children were similar to comparison groups of behavioral and socioemotional adjustment and in adolescence they showed similar scores for self-esteem and positive psychological functioning. 

Overall, studies that have looked at the long-term outcomes regarding family well being and the quality of relationship between parent and child indicates that families conceived via egg donation function well in terms of child adjustment, parental psychological health, and parent-child relationship quality. Some researchers conclude that this may be because those  who continue to have fertility treatments despite failures may have strong coping skills and thus may not be as affected by everyday parenting issues. With regard to the quality of parent-child relationships, researchers have consistently found a high quality of parenting relationship  between parent and child across studies. 

If you are considering using a surrogate and an egg donor to help you start or grow your family, the order in which you find a surrogate or egg donor will depend on your individual circumstances and needs. In this guide, we’ll go over a few things to consider when deciding whether to find a surrogate or an egg donor first.

Surrogacy vs. egg donation

Surrogacy is a process in which a woman carries and delivers a child for someone else. If you are considering using a gestational carrier (aka surrogate), you will likely need to work with an agency to help match with someone who has been pre-qualified to carry your child. You will also need to work through the legal and medical aspects of surrogacy, including the surrogacy agreement and the medical screening and evaluation process.

An egg donor is a woman who donates her eggs to another person or couple. If you are considering using an egg donor, you will need to match with an egg donor who is willing to donate her eggs to you. You will also need to consider the medical and legal aspects of using an egg donor, including the egg donor agreement and the medical screening, evaluation, and retrieval process.

Who would need both a surrogate and egg donor?

There are lots of cases where families need both a gestational carrier and egg donor to have a child. Here are a few examples:

• Infertility: Some individuals or couples may be unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term due to infertility. In these cases, they may consider using both a surrogate and an egg donor to help them increase their chances of having a child.
• Single individuals: Some single individuals, especially those born male, may consider using a surrogate and an egg donor, along with their own sperm or donor sperm, to help them become parents.
• LGBTQ+ couples: Some same-sex couples may consider using a surrogate and an egg donor to help them become parents. For example, a gay male couple may use a surrogate and an egg donor to carry and give birth to a child that is genetically related to one of the men.
• Medical conditions: Some individuals or couples may have medical conditions that prevent them from getting pregnant, undergoing IVF, and/or carrying a pregnancy to term. In these cases, they may consider using both a surrogate to carry their child for them.

So which comes first, egg donor or surrogate?

In most cases, we recommend starting by matching with an egg donor. Many surrogacy agencies cannot sign up families who do not yet have healthy embryos to transfer. This is because gestational carriers are in high demand and they don’t want to wait months after matching in order to start the transfer process. On the other hand, once you have embryos made through donor eggs, those can be frozen and used at any point in the future.

You could also begin the search for a gestational carrier and an egg donor at the same time, knowing that the waitlist for a gestational carrier is far longer than the process to get donor eggs.

How long does it take to match with an egg donor?

The timeline can vary, but in total the process from match to cycle with Cofertility is generally be two to four months. Once you create a free account, you’ll gain access to our matching platform and can start to learn more about our donors. After you match with a Split member (who will be freezing her eggs and donating half to your family), we begin the process of scheduling her screening and testing with your clinic, which generally takes a few weeks. Once your doctor gives the go-ahead, we’d set a date for the cycle at a time that is mutually convenient. 

You may decide to fertilize the embryos as soon as the eggs are retrieved or you can freeze the eggs and thaw them to be fertilized at a later date. If you do create embryos at the time of retrieval, they can be frozen in storage until you match with a surrogate or are ready to move forward with the transfer.  

How long does it take to match with a surrogate?

The process of matching with a surrogate varies in length and may depend on a variety of factors, including the location and availability of surrogates, the intended parents' preferences and requirements, and the legal and medical requirements involved in the surrogacy process based on your state. In general, the process of finding a surrogate may take several months to a year.

Learn more

Ultimately, the decision of whether to find a surrogate or an egg donor first will depend on your individual circumstances and needs. It may be helpful to speak with your doctor to determine the best course of action for your situation.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. Create a free account today!

Donor egg in vitro fertilization (IVF) is a fertility treatment in which an intended parent uses eggs from an egg donor to have a baby. In this process, the donated eggs are fertilized with sperm from an intended parent or sperm donor in a laboratory to create embryos. Those embryos are monitored by an embryologist while they grow into blastocysts. They are then frozen, genetically tested, and transferred to the uterus of the intended mother (or a gestational carrier) in the hope that it will implant and result in a pregnancy. 

We know that using donor eggs can greatly increase the chances of success for an infertile couple. But how common is egg donation? Let’s dive in.

First, who uses donor eggs?

There are many reasons an intended parent would turn to donor eggs to have a baby:

• Infertility due to low ovarian reserve 
• Repeated IVF failures with own eggs
• Infertility due to recurrent miscarriage
• LGBTQ+
• Genetic mutations
• People without ovaries
• Single males
• Women whose own eggs have been damaged by chemotherapy or radiation treatment

Regardless of the reason, donor eggs are a viable, and increasingly common, path to parenthood. 

How common is donor egg IVF in the US?

The use of donor eggs has been increasing in recent years. While it's hard to know the exact number of egg donation cycles each year, we can get a good estimate through the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technologies (SART), which tracks data for nearly 400 US clinics annually. 

In 2019 there were nearly 20,000 IVF transfers using donor eggs at SART-reporting clinics. That is up 14% from the previous five years. Of those transfers:

• 1,776 used fresh donor eggs
• 2,468 used frozen donor eggs
• 15,294 transferred thawed embryos

How common is donor egg IVF in the UK?

More than 70,000 donor conceived children have been born in the UK since 1991. The total number of babies born via egg donation in 2019 was 1,327, up 88% from 2009. Of those, 83% used a donor egg and the partner’s sperm. The remaining 17% used both donor egg and donor sperm.

How common is donor egg IVF in Australia and New Zealand?

In Australia and New Zealand, there were 3,316 IVF cycles performed using donor eggs (or embryos) in 2017 with 727 live births reported. Of those cycles, 86% used donor eggs and the partners sperm while the remaining used a donor embryo.

How common is donor egg IVF in Europe?

According to data from the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE), the number of donor egg cycles in Europe has been steadily increasing in recent years. In 2017, the most recent year for which data is available, there were a total of 28,377 donor egg cycles reported in Europe, representing about 5% of all IVF cycles performed in the region. It is worth noting that these figures do not include data from all European countries, as not all countries report their IVF data to ESHRE.

How common is donor egg IVF in Asia?

In China, egg donation is uncommon. That is because donor eggs can only be used if they are unused leftover eggs from women who underwent IVF. Data collected by The Chinese Society of Reproductive Medicine (CSRM) of 327 fertility clinics from 2013 to 2016 found 1,642 donor egg cycles in that time, a small fraction of the 12 million cycles.

The use of donor eggs globally

Unfortunately there’s no way to know exactly how many donor egg cycles there are globally. 

But according to data from the International Committee for Monitoring Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ICMART), which collects data from 2,971 clinics in 79 countries, there were 161,139 egg donation transfers in 2018.

The use of donor eggs is more common in countries and regions with better access to IVF, and where legal, cultural, or religious beliefs make the use of donor eggs more acceptable. Plus, the use of donor eggs in IVF may be underreported in some countries, as not all countries require procedures to be reported to regulatory agencies.

Donor eggs can increase your chances of success

Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.

At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs. 

At Cofertility, for those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.

Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.

To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.

Donor eggs: where do I start?

If you are looking to use donor eggs to build your family, we’d love to help. Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!

Religions have their own moral code and teachings regarding family creation. The emerging use and evolving regulation of egg donation and assisted reproductive technologies have brought into focus the views of different religions and religious organizations. While most religions have historical and relatively outdated teachings on reproduction itself, recent years have seen emerging voices from organized religion on egg donation and assisted reproductive technologies. 

Some faith leaders cite beliefs about the purpose of sex - primarily that it is meant to be procreative and unitive, and that fertility options therefore go against or blur the lines of religious morality. Although individual members may accept and support using donated eggs, many faiths do try to limit, if not ban, the practice altogether. In this guide, we’ll go over a few examples on what religions say about egg donation.

Buddhism: 

Buddhism does not have specific teachings on the use of egg donation and ART. Dr. Schenker shares that Buddhist discourse largely accepts egg donation as long as the child has the right to know their genetic parent(s). 

Catholicism: 

One religion that has clear guidelines on the use of egg donation and assisted reproductive technologies (IVF) is Catholicism. The Roman Catholic Church holds that life begins at conception, that children must be conceived during sex, and that any conception outside a physical union is condemnable. Therefore, the Church prohibits any form of artificial reproduction that separates procreation from the conjugal act between a married heterosexual couple. This includes the use of egg donation, because it involves the separation of the procreative and unitive aspects of the conjugal act.

Hinduism: 

Hinduism does not have specific teachings on the use of egg donation and art. However, according to Dr. Schenker, an expert on religious faith and professor at Hadassah University and Medical Center, Hinduism accepts egg donation as long as the child has the right to know their genetic parents. 

Judaism: 

Jewish law and tradition strongly encourages “be fruitful and multiply” and most jewish people embrace egg donation as a way of achieving this. Most rabbinic authorities hold that egg donation and surrogacy are allowed under jewish law. However, the rabbinical world is divided on whether an intended parent should find a donor who is jewish. The conservative and orthodox movements suggest that the egg donor must be fully jewish, while the reform movement suggests that as long as the intended parent is jewish, the child is considered jewish as well. In 1996, the committee on jewish law and standards of the rabbinical assembly declared that a child born to a jewish woman is jewish, regardless of the religious status of the ovum donor. Read more in I'm Jewish. How Should I Be Thinking About A Jewish Egg Donor?

Protestantism: 

Protestant Christianity generally views the use of egg donation and ART as problematic. Unlike the Catholic Church, however, Protestant denominations do not have a centralized authority that can issue official statements on these issues. Nevertheless, the Church of England, one of the dominant voices in Protestant policy, expressed its disapproval at the prospect of offering fertility treatments to single women and gay couples at the time of the passing of the 2012 Human Fertility and Embryology Act in England. The subsequent law however gave access to single women and gay couples to egg donation fertility treatments. 

Shia Islam: 

Given the shia branch of islam is largely seen in iran, the rulings of the ayatollahs in iran have supreme jurisprudence in the Shiite Islamic world. The Iranian law on gamete donation, passed in 2003 and approved by the guardian council, allows for egg donation provided the husband marries the egg donor temporarily. However, sperm donation is forbidden as a sperm donor cannot temporarily marry an already married woman whose husband is infertile. Interestingly, embryo donation, from another married couple, is allowed.

Sunni Islam:  

Sunni Muslims follow the Fatwas issued by religious bodies such as Al-Azhar University in Cairo and the Islamic Fikh Council in Mecca on matters related to everyday life. These Fatwas and guidelines allow for assisted reproduction as long as the sperm and oocyte are those of the married couple, and the embryo is replaced into the wife’s uterus during an existing marriage. Simply, this means that third party egg donation is not allowed. 

Faith and egg donation

Different religions have different views on the use of egg donation and assisted reproductive technologies like IVF. While some religions view these technologies as problematic, others may view them as acceptable in certain circumstances. Generally, with the exception of Catholicism, the lack of a central decision making authority in other major global religions means that gray areas exist in the context of religious views on egg donation.

What if my religion does not approve of using donor eggs?

If your religion does not allow the use of donor eggs or even IVF, it is important to consider your own beliefs and values when deciding whether to pursue these options. It may be helpful to speak with a religious leader or authority within your faith tradition to learn more about the teachings and beliefs of your religion, and to explore how these teachings may apply to your situation. You may also want to consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional, who can help you navigate your thoughts and feelings about the use of donor eggs.

Ultimately, the decision to use donor eggs is a deeply personal one that should be made based on your own values, beliefs, and circumstances. It is important to consider all of the potential risks and benefits of these options, and to weigh them carefully before making a decision.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!

After years of not being able to build your family through conventional methods, you may have found yourself here because you're considering conceiving using gamete donation. Understandably, you likely have many questions about it, particularly the psychological aspects of the mother-child relationship, questions about how it might feel to use donor eggs, or if the child will even feel like yours. All of these are valid questions and are probably just a few out of a million questions running through your mind. But when using assisted reproductive technology and donor gametes to create your family, there is no such thing as too many questions! The more questions you ask and the more knowledge you gather, the less scary it will feel and the more confident you will be about your decision to use egg donation. So let’s dive in.

More women are turning to egg donation 

Aside from health/medical issues, women are turning to egg donation because they have medically “aged out.” Sadly, age is not just a number. The stark reality is that age is one of the most important aspects when it comes to getting pregnant with your own eggs. Women are delaying childbirth for many reasons, but no one talks to them about the consequences of doing so.

In 2019, there were almost 20,000 IVF transfers using donor eggs. And as topics such as egg donation and surrogacy become more mainstream in the media, more families are starting to share their experiences with third party reproduction and how they are raising their donor conceived children. More resources for families are also becoming available, but still, many continue to struggle to navigate, understand, and experience parenting a child conceived in this way.

The mother-child relationship in egg donation families

A common question for many is regarding the impact of using a donor egg on the relationship between mother and baby. Many are afraid they will not bond with the baby or that the baby will not feel like theirs. But, studies have shown that most mothers using donor eggs to have their baby felt secure and confident as the child’s mother by the end of that first year. Which makes sense since during that first year your entire existence revolves around the baby and not much else. And making it to that first birthday is a huge milestone, not just for the baby but for the parents as well.  In that same study, it was also found that even though over 80% of mothers did think about the non-genetic aspect during pregnancy, two thirds of them reported that egg donation had not influenced their relationship with their child. The bond that was built during that first year only cemented the mother-child relationship. 

Other questions include the idea of anonymity of the donor versus knowing the donor. What, when, and how to tell the donor conceived child about their beginnings, along with deciding on what, when or if to tell family and friends. 

Psychological aspects of using donor eggs

Many parents also want to know about the psychological aspects of using donor eggs. For some the idea of having to surrender one's own DNA and all that entails in order to bring a child into the world can be a difficult idea to process. Even though the United States has one of the highest rates of blended families – consisting of half or step children, step mothers and fathers – where love and family is not based on DNA, this idea of not being genetically related to your child, can still be a difficult one to grasp. But once the longing to be a parent speaks louder than the urge to procreate, that feeling slowly begins to take a back seat. 

But once the longing to be a parent speaks louder than the urge to procreate, that feeling slowly begins to take a back seat.

The emotional journey of finding an egg donor

Another emotionally charged piece can be the process itself. The process of choosing an egg donor can feel impersonal and uncomfortable. The screening process for the egg donor to ensure she is medically and psychologically fit can be time consuming. And waiting for the results of the retrieval can be anxiety provoking. And because using an egg donor comes with extra costs, some families feel that egg donation is out of reach. And for many, the cost to build the family of their dreams may lead to mounting debt that seems daunting.  

The upside

Despite the challenges, people are still choosing to use egg donation to build their families due to the high success rate and probability that they will become parents. Typically, for a woman over 39, using her own eggs has a success rate of about less than 10% per IVF cycle. Whereas an IVF cycle using donor eggs averages almost 50%. And because egg quality and age are the main reasons for miscarriage, those using donor eggs have lower rates of miscarriage. Also, if you are having the embryo transferred to yourself, egg donation can also give you the experience of pregnancy and childbirth and starting the connection with the baby from day one.

The decision to use an egg donor to conceive your child is not easy. Fortunately, parents using third party reproduction are not alone. Cofertility recognizes and understands the sensitive nature of conceiving using donor eggs. We also understand the longing to be a parent.  Our team works really hard to make the egg donor experience a warmer, more human centric process, by offering community and support throughout this journey. Create a free account today to get started.

If you are planning to donate your eggs or are planning to be a recipient of an egg donation, do not be surprised if you are told by your clinic or agency that you need psychological screening before proceeding. For most people, ‘psychological screening’ sounds like a test that needs to be passed in order to donate or to become parents. This can create tension, annoyance, and even anger. Some look at this step as another obstacle to meeting their end goal or just another box that needs to be checked before moving forward. But in essence, good quality programs require this meeting to ensure you understand the consequences, and are mentally prepared for all that comes along with donating or receiving donor eggs. 

As a psychologist who regularly performs these psychological screenings, my goal is to make sure you have explored all the ethical, social, and emotional ramifications that come with egg donation. This meeting allows you to think about both the short and long-term impacts of egg donation. It gives you things to ponder that you may not have thought about, and allows you the opportunity to ask questions that you were afraid to ask in an open and safe space. In this article, I will give you a glimpse into what this screening process can be like for both egg donors and recipients.

Egg donor psychological screening

For egg donors this screening is extremely important because we want to make sure she is fully prepared, ready, and understands what it means to serve as an egg donor. She needs to understand the physical, psychological, and legal risks of donating. We also want to look at why she is donating and identify any potential emotional problems that may be contraindicated to donating. These areas are assessed based on the guidelines set forth by The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). If a donor has a spouse or long-term partner, they may also be included in the evaluation to confirm the presence of support and understanding of the process and how the results of donating could potentially impact them as well. 

Typically, this evaluation includes a clinical interview and a standardized test. The whole process can take anywhere from two to three hours to complete. Types of questions asked include: family, education, and work history, motivation to donate, current life stressors and coping skills, traumatic reproductive history, interpersonal relationships and sexual history, along with any personal and family history of mental health issues. During the evaluation the donor’s understanding of the potential emotional and social risks is also discussed and a large portion of the meeting will focus on the implications for the donor, their current or future children or partners, and how the donation may even affect their extended families. 

Donors should be prepared to share health information about not only themselves but also health information about their family. This includes their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. This is because we need to know if there are any possible heritable traits that could be passed on in the genes. This gives the potential parents receiving the eggs with information to make an informed decision about whether or not to work with the donor. 

Intended parent psychological screening

For those receiving oocytes, a psychoeducational consultation with a qualified licensed mental health professional who has training and education in third-party reproduction is strongly recommended. During the consultation, the implications of creating a family using gamete donation is discussed. Important topics such as disclosure are covered:

• How and when do you tell your child they were conceived via egg donation? 
• What are the long-term impacts of the donation on the family? 
• How do you get past the grief of not having your own biological child? 
• What happens if the transfer does not result in a pregnancy? 
• What is the impact of treatment failure, and do you possibly need to develop alternative plans for the future? 
• What if the embryo transfer does result in a pregnancy, what does this new transition to parenthood look like? 
• What are the challenges of donor anonymity and its implications in the future?
• Embryo management is covered, meaning what will happen to embryos that will not be used? Are they discarded? 

This meeting typically takes about one to two hours and both parents are expected to participate in the meeting.

Some programs do not require meeting with a psychologist and make it an optional meeting. I would strongly advise to meet with the psychologist even if it is not required by your clinic or agency. As you can see from above, the meeting will give you invaluable information that will guide the decisions you make and will impact how you move forward as a family that is conceived via egg donation. This meeting will inform how you think, feel and talk about having this child. Take full advantage of this meeting, take notes and ask all the questions.

The psychological screening for both the egg donor and the recipient helps them make informed decisions about egg donation and provides both parties the opportunity to explore how it may impact all involved, both in the present and in the future. Be open, ask questions. Because what you are embarking on is not easy.

Read more:

• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• 10 Facts You Need To Know About Using Donor Eggs
• What to Look For in an Egg Donation Agency

If you are considering conceiving using donor eggs, you may have questions about it, particularly about anonymous egg donation and what the research says about families conceived using anonymous donations. In this article, I break down some of the emerging research behind anonymous egg donations and their long term outcomes including impacts on the parent-child relationship.

To start, should you use an anonymous egg donor? 

This is a question that you need to strongly consider before choosing a donor. Although some agencies/centers tout anonymity, it is important to understand that true anonymity cannot be guaranteed. Because of relatively inexpensive and readily available at-home DNA testing, a child can easily discover their true origins. And now with changing laws, anonymity may not even be an option. 

However, some parents are still wanting to work with donors who will be anonymous. But why is that the case? In a 2011 study, parents who intentionally chose anonymous donation over known donation said they believed that anonymity would allow them to establish clear boundaries between the donor, child, and parent. And because they wanted to minimize any potential links between the donor and child in order to protect the mother–child relationship. In contrast, parents intentionally did not choose known donation as it was viewed as complicating the donor–child relationship and undermining the recipient's (intended mother) ability to feel secure in her role as mother.  But interestingly, the study also found that mothers could both express ambivalence and uncertainties about the non-genetic relationship with their child, but still feel confident and secure in their identity as the child’s mother. So in the end, the anonymity did not make a difference in how she felt about her identity or role as mother. 

So if anonymity doesn’t really impact a mother’s identity or role as a mother, why would someone want to choose a known or identified donor? One major reason for choosing a known donor is that one can have more information about the donor specifically as it pertains to their medical history. Furthermore you can also be kept abreast of any changes to the donor’s medical history in the future. This is so important if your child gets diagnosed with a medical issue or needs some sort of medical treatment. Being able to contact your donor could potentially save your child's life. 

Read more in Undisclosed vs. Anonymous Egg Donation: What’s the Difference?

What do donor-conceived people think?

We have also seen that donor conceived children are curious about their origins. So another advantage of using a known donor is that your child can potentially have knowledge or communication with their donor.  Research has shown that adolescents who were interested in their donor mostly wanted to know more about why they had donated, and some had questions about the donor’s family, or other children (half siblings) conceived using the same donor. In essence, what they wanted was to just better understand themselves. In a study with donor-conceived people, 86.5% believed that they had a right to non-identifying information about their donors; several also believed that they had a right to identifying information. In the end, they all wanted to know something about their donor and not necessarily to establish a relationship with the donor.  

In another study, donor-conceived people who were conceived as a result of anonymous donation and who had grown up knowing about the nature of their conception still perceived donor conception as an acceptable model of family-building, but only when an identifiable donor was used and where parents disclosed their use of donor conception from an early age. And approximatley 25% of the participants endorsed anonymous donation, subject to the availability of some non-identifying donor information. A 2018 study obtained first-hand data from a sample of donor-conceived and surrogacy-conceived children followed from infancy to adolescence, suggest that the concern that children born through third party reproductions (i.e. surrogacy or egg or sperm donation) would be distressed about their origins in adolescence was unfounded, and that children who were informed when young of their conception were accepting of this in adolescence.  The majority of the participants were actually indifferent about their conception, and were either interested in, or enjoyed positive relations with, their surrogate or donor. Not one of the adolescents indicated that they were distressed about their conception. 

A 2021 study recommends if future intended parents are considering gamete donation, for the future well-being of all involved, anonymous donation ought to be discouraged. If individuals want to proceed with anonymous donation, at a minimum they should inform their child about the nature of their conception to minimize any potential harm to their child. Also, whatever clinic or agency you are working with, it will be important that they explain how they plan on maintaining anonymity, and how they plan on keeping the donor’s information, and how the donor can be reached if a medical emergency were to come up. 

When making your decision, only one key fact should weigh heavily on your decision and that is what will be best for your future child's mental, physical and genetic health.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.

More and more families are turning to donor IVF to have children. If you are considering using donor eggs as part of your fertility treatment, you are likely weighing the potential pros and cons of this option. Let’s go over egg donor IVF and some of the main pros and cons of using donor eggs.

What is egg donor IVF?

Egg donation is a process in which a woman (called a donor) provides her eggs to be used by another family. The eggs are retrieved from the donor's ovaries and fertilized with sperm in a laboratory setting. The resulting embryos are then transferred to the uterus of the woman who will carry the pregnancy (called the recipient) or a gestational carrier. Egg donation can be an option for women who are unable to produce their own eggs or who have eggs of poor quality. It can also be an option for same-sex male couples or single men who want to have a child using a surrogate.

The egg donation process typically involves several steps. First, the donor undergoes medical and psychological screening to determine if she is a suitable candidate for donation. This includes a physical exam, blood tests, and a review of medical and family history. The donor is also required to undergo psychological counseling to ensure that she is emotionally prepared for the process.

Next, the donor is given fertility medications to stimulate her ovaries to produce multiple mature eggs. The eggs are then retrieved through a surgical procedure called oocyte retrieval, which is performed under sedation or general anesthesia. The eggs are then fertilized with sperm in a laboratory setting, and the resulting embryos are transferred to the recipient's uterus. If the transfer is successful, the recipient will carry the pregnancy to term and give birth to the child.

Egg donation is a complex and often emotional process, and it is important for both the donor and the recipient to carefully consider the legal, financial, and emotional implications of the decision. It is also important for both parties to work with a reputable fertility clinic and egg donation agency (like Cofertility) to ensure that all necessary medical, legal, and ethical guidelines are followed.

Now, let’s review some of the pros and cons to using donor eggs.

Pros:

• First and foremost is the chance to have a baby! Donor egg IVF has a high success rate. Many women who use donor eggs achieve pregnancy and give birth to healthy babies.
• Using donor eggs can allow women who are older (over 40) or who have experienced age-related fertility decline to have a child. Donor eggs may also be an option for women who have certain health conditions that affect their fertility, such as premature menopause or damaged ovaries.
• Donor egg IVF allows women who can’t use their own eggs the meaningful opportunity to carry a pregnancy. With donor eggs, most women can still carry a healthy pregnancy and breastfeed. 
• Donor eggs can be used by LGBTQ+ couples who wish to have a child that is genetically related to one of them.
• Children born through egg donation live happy, normal lives. We now have evidence that both donor-conceived children (from early childhood to adolescence) and their parents are psychologically well adjusted and do not differ from families with spontaneously or own-gamete conceived children. (That being said, there are some parenting best-practices you should know!)

Cons:

• Donor egg IVF can be expensive, with costs in the tens of thousands of dollars. Some insurance plans may cover some or all of the costs, but it is important to check with your insurance provider or employer to understand your coverage.
• Using donor eggs involves a number of legal considerations, including contracts between you with the donor. One thing the contract outlines is the expected relationship and when/if/how your donor-conceived child can know more about the donor. It is important to understand these issues before proceeding with donor egg IVF. If you work with Cofertility, we will ensure you and the egg donor have excellent legal representation and a sound contract.
• Using donor eggs can involve complex emotional considerations, such as feelings of loss or grief for some people. It is important to discuss these emotions with a mental health professional before proceeding with donor egg IVF.

Finding an egg donor

There are a number of ways to find a donor, including using a donor egg agency or searching online databases. It is important to carefully research and consider your options before making a decision. At Cofertility, you can create a free account to begin your journey. Our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

From end to end, we take a more human approach to egg donation. Our pre-qualified donors are ambitious, kind, and excited to help your family. We’re ready to make your parenting dreams a reality.  

Egg donation is a relatively new concept, and the legal structure surrounding egg donation varies widely across the US and globally. Unlike most of Europe, US policy does not require infertility clinics to be licensed by law, and no uniform standards exist about proper methods for egg donor recruitment, care, and disclosure. There is no US federal law regarding anonymity vs. disclosure in gamete donation, which has resulted in each state having its own regulation, if anything at all.

So what does the law say about anonymous donation?

For a long time, anonymity was the status quo, and people conceived through anonymous egg or sperm donation did not have a way to find out more about their genetic origins. But the use of at-home DNA and social media, along with advocacy from donor conceived people, has radically changed this. 

In this guide, we summarize some of the legislations that are driving egg donor anonymity into the past. 

Colorado

Colorado has the most progressive laws towards donor-conceived persons rights. In June 2022, Colorado Gov. Jared Polis (D) signed legislation banning anonymous sperm and egg donations, making the state the first in the country to prohibit the practice. 

This law requires sperm and egg banks to maintain up-to-date medical records and contact information for all donors. The law raises the minimum donation age to 21, prohibits donations from donors who refuse to agree to identity disclosures, and limits the number of families that can use eggs from any given donor.

Once the law takes effect in 2025, donor-conceived adults will have the legal right to request information about their donor's identity and medical history. Future donors must agree that their information will be released to offspring that request them after the age of 18. This effectively eliminates any anonymity in the donation process.

Washington 

A number of states, including California, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Washington have enacted the 2020 Uniform Parentage Act. Section 702 of the Act protects families by ensuring that the donor is not the legal parent of the child. This act, while extremely progressive, does not go as far as mandating that future donors MUST agree to information being released. 

In 2011, Washington State was the first to challenge sperm and egg donor anonymity with a law that requires sperm banks and egg donation agencies with gametes from Washington State to provide the donor’s medical histories and, importantly, full names to donor-conceived persons upon turning 18 years of age. This has one major caveat - the agencies and banks are only required to provide the information if the gamete donor did not affirmatively opt out of being identified.

California, Connecticut, and Rhode Island

In 2020, California and Rhode Island followed Washington’s path, with a similar law that requires egg and sperm banks and donor programs to collect and retain a donor’s full name, date of birth, and address.

However, the law has one more provision friendly to the donor-conceived community - even if the donor did opt out of having his or her identity revealed, upon the request of a donor-conceived person, the gamete bank has an affirmative duty to notify the donor as to the request, and allow that donor another chance with withdraw the declaration. The new law goes on to provide that regardless of whether the donor signed a waiver, the donor-conceived person or, prior to the age of 18, his or her parents, shall have a right to the donor’s non-identifying medical information. 

Connecticut enacted the same laws in 2022, expanding rights for donor-conceived persons. 

New York 

A pending measure in New York would require gamete donor banks “to collect and verify medical, educational and criminal felony conviction history information” from any donor. This would also provide prospective parents who purchase eggs or sperm and donor-conceived people with the right to obtain such information without personally identifying the donor. 

Other US states

There are currently no other states with legislation passed or pending on the regulation of gamete donations.

Canada

In Canada, egg and sperm donors cannot be paid; their donation must be altruistic. Both anonymous donation and known donation are permitted.

Mexico

In Mexico, organ and cell donation, including egg donation, is required to be done anonymously. 

In Mexico, though there is no specific law governing assisted reproductive technologies, donations are governed by some agreements implemented by national organizations such as the Mexican Association of Reproductive Medicine. The practice of ART is also considered, although not explicitly, in the General Health Law. Organ, cell and egg donation is required to be done anonymously.

Europe

In Europe, it has been suggested that anonymous gamete donation may breach the rights of donor-conceived persons under Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHRs). However, this has never been definitively addressed by the European Court of Human Rights (ECtHRs). This has led to considerable divergence in regulatory approaches to anonymous donation across Europe. 

Donor eggs for IVF are not allowed by law in Germany, Italy, Norway, Switzerland, Tunisia, or Turkey.

Sweden

Sweden was the first country to prohibit anonymous donation, which it did in 1984. Identifiable donors are required. And while the donor remains anonymous to the family, the donor offspring have the right to receive information about the donor at the age of 18.

One Swedish study of 210 donors asked their thoughts five to eight years after their donation. The results show that a majority of egg and sperm donors had a positive attitude to the idea of being contacted by their offspring, while very few reported that they would prefer not to be contacted.

United Kingdom

In the UK, the transition from anonymity protection to anonymity prohibition was partially driven by activism on the part of donor-conceived people, prompting a change in UK law in 2005, as a result of which anonymous donation was no longer permitted. Children born from egg donation receive the donor’s information upon turning 18, and it’s up to the donor whether to reply or not.

Additionally, it's illegal to pay for egg donation in the UK. Egg donors can receive compensation of up to £750 per donation 'cycle' to cover their costs.

Ireland

Ireland did not regulate anonymous donation at all until 2015, but The Children and Family Relationships Act 2015 prohibits anonymous donation entirely, and goes so far as to require the State to inform the donor-conceived person that they are donor-conceived, if they seek a birth certificate when over the age of 18. Ireland also proposes to extend this right to the right to know one’s gestational surrogate. 

Spain 

Spain guarantees donor anonymity, regulated by a 2006 law. Breaking the confidentiality conditions of the egg donor’s personal details are considered a serious offense, which can lead to significant monetary fines. Donor conceived people have the right to obtain general information about donors, but not their identities.

Portugal

In 2018, Portugal banned anonymous egg donation, and donor-conceived people can now request personal information from the donor. CNMPA (National Council for Medically Assisted Procreation) has required clinics to suspend any IVF treatments with anonymous donors and begin registering everything in the national ART authority database. Egg donors can donate four times per lifetime and donor compensation in Portugal is fixed by law at 878€.

France 

Donor anonymity had been established in France since the passage of its first law on assisted reproduction in 1994. In 2022, a new french bioethics law, established that children born as a result of medical procreation will have the right, if they wish, to know the identities of the donors who made their lives possible.The information about donors – including details of their family and professional situation – will be recorded at the time of the donation, along with a description of their "general state" and physical characteristics. Once the child reaches adulthood, he or she will have access to the information.

Greece

Egg donation in Greece is generally anonymous, and the clinics facilitate matching donors and families. Strict regulations prevent clinics from sharing any personal information about donors to patients.

Hungary

In Hungary, an egg donor must be a relative of the infertile couple, meaning that they are not anonymous. 

China

In China, the use of donor gametes is restricted to donor sperm, though donor eggs can be used if they are unused leftover eggs from women who underwent IVF. However, no compensation can be provided. While there’s no legislation around anonymity, most of the cases are anonymous.

Singapore

The commercial market of donor eggs is prohibited by healthcare regulations in Singapore, with strict laws restricting monetary payment of egg donors. 

However, the recent Assisted Reproduction Services Regulations permits medical and non-medical elective egg and sperm freezing from 2023. A policy decision, still under consideration by the Singapore government, which could have implications for donor-conceived offspring, is the possible establishment of an adoption register to facilitate contact between adopted children and their birth parents in the future.

Japan

The Diet passed a law in 2020 that recognizes married heterosexual couples who have children through donor eggs as legal parents (however, this right doesn’t apply to Japan’s LGBTQ+ families). And it does not give children the right to seek disclosure of the identities of the egg donors, an omission that has been met with criticism from groups representing them. 

South Korea

The buying and selling of donor eggs is banned in South Korea. Further, IVF treatments are not an option for unmarried women in Korea, and sperm banks set their own criteria for accepting patients and will not provide services to unmarried women. While single South Korean women are able to freeze their eggs, they can't legally proceed with a sperm donation and the transfer of an embryo unless married. 

Lebanon

Egg donation in Lebanon has become a popular option in recent years, and egg donors can be known (friends or relatives) or anonymous. 

Turkey

Even though Turkey has more IVF clinics than any other nation in the Middle East, all forms of third-party reproduction are illegal, including egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, and surrogacy. In 2010, Turkey banned its citizens from going abroad to seek donor eggs, making it the first country in the world to regulate 'cross-border reproductive care'.

Israel

In 2010, The Israeli Knesset approved a bill regulating egg and sperm donations, fixing payment for donors. Compensation for egg donors would be higher than that for sperm donors, as ova harvesting requires patients to undergo hormone treatment. The law designates that the egg donation must be anonymous. A genetic database will allow individuals over the age of 18 to check whether they were conceived through third-party reproduction, without exposing the identity of the egg donor.

India 

The Assisted Reproductive Technology (Regulation) Bill passed in 2020 in India. Egg donors must be married with a child who is at least three years old. A donor can donate eggs only once in her life and not more than seven eggs can be retrieved. Also in India, no donation from the friends or relatives of either partner is allowed. Non identifying information about the donor is customarily provided to the donor-conceived offspring.

This bill requires clinics to maintain records of all donations for at least 10 years, after which the records must be transferred to the National Registry. However, the law seems ambiguous - and  Bill does not specify the purpose of collecting personal information and sharing it with the Registry.

Brazil

There is no legislation in Brazil regulating the assisted reproduction market, and the law has not kept up with the technological improvements and growing market. However, the Childrens Act (ECA) gives all children the right to know their genetic identity. The law includes adopted children and by extension, those conceived using genetic material donated by people who are not their legal parents. Although the Brazil Federal Council of Medicine states that sperm and egg donation must be anonymous, this does not prevent a child from filing a lawsuit demanding knowledge of their origin, as is their right according to the Brazilian Civil Code. 

Argentina

While egg and sperm donation is legal in Argentina, it is generally done anonymously. Physicians match families with donor eggs, and there is no database where parents could see the pictures or get information about the donors. 

Australia 

The state of Victoria, Australia introduced legislation to ban anonymous sperm and egg donation in 1998. In 2005, a national medical guideline stipulated the abolishment of anonymous donation in all states. In 2018, Victoria went even further to lift anonymity retroactively for donations made before 1998. 

New Zealand

In New Zealand, The Human Assisted Reproductive Technology Act 2004 legislated that all donations made on or after 22 August 2005 must be non-anonymous.

Disclosure is the future

The rising tide of disclosure is also playing out in legislative action around the globe, with the primary focus being on protecting donor-conceived persons’ interests to access crucial information that is relevant to their health and wellbeing. Practically, anonymity can no longer be guaranteed.

If you are single with fertility issues or in a relationship where both of you are experiencing fertility issues, you have an option of conceiving using both donor egg and donor sperm. Below I will answer commonly asked questions about the selection process, how treatment works, and on odds of success. 

Why would someone need both egg and sperm donation?

Why would someone need both donor egg and donor sperm? It may be that a woman has reached an age where conception using her own eggs is no longer an option. Or perhaps she has medical reasons that prohibit the use of her own eggs. A sperm donor may be needed because she may not have a male partner or if she does, perhaps the male partner is experiencing fertility problems where the sperm is not viable. 

For some single women, they may decide to use a sperm donor because they do not have a partner and are ready to start a family. So their journey to parenthood begins with coming to terms with the idea of raising a child alone. But once on that journey, she may discover a fertility problem (age or otherwise) and now also has to accept the idea of not having a genetic connection to her child as well. But when the longing to be a parent outweighs the desire to reproduce, that is where double donation comes in. 

Some other scenarios include lesbian couples where both women have fertility issues and cannot use their own eggs, single males who cannot use their own sperm, or a gay male couples where both have fertility issues and neither can use their own sperm.

In vitro fertilization (IVF) with double gamete donation consists of a fertility treatment in which the eggs of a donor are fertilized with the sperm of a donor. The donors can be identified (meaning the donor is known to the parents in some capacity) or non-identified (the donor is not known at all). Donors need to be over the age of 21, and pass both medical and psychological evaluations. Currently, there is no cap on how much a donor can be paid. 

Donor eggs

Let’s begin with the egg donation process. Once an egg donor has been selected and has completed and passed all the required medical and psychological testing, she will begin the medical protocol to retrieve her eggs. She will begin by injecting herself with hormones for approximately two weeks. These hormones stimulate the ovaries to produce more follicles than she would otherwise produce. Depending on the protocol, she will be regularly monitored by a clinic close to home so doctors can monitor the stimulation.  A final, trigger shot is taken on a specific day and time and within a certain amount of hours, the eggs are extracted under sedation.  The other option is to use frozen eggs from an egg bank. 

Donor sperm

Donor sperm can also be either fresh or frozen. However, regardless of how it is donated, it will remain frozen in quarantine for six months before it can be used. Some states and clinics will offer a waiver to release the sperm after three months. The reason for quarantine is that some diseases, such as HIV or Hepatitis B can take up to six months to show positive.

Once the donated eggs are matured and ready to be fertilized, the donor sperm is thawed and tested. Once approved and ready, the mature eggs are fertilized with the donor sperm. Embryos are given three to five days to grow and are then transferred to the intended mother or gestational carrier.  Remaining embryos can be frozen for possible future use, donated to another person or couple or disposed of. 

Double-donor embryo IVF

Because a double donor embryo is created using two donors, treatment can be costly. It can also be the treatment path that takes the longest since you are needing to find both an egg and sperm donor and you need to ensure everyone’s calendars are in sync. A planned trip, holiday lab closures, and medical and legal professionals scheduling calendars can create time lags in the process. So be prepared to spend months or even a year before treatment (embryo transfer) can actually occur. 

However, medically, double donation is safe and can have very high success rates. For example, the 2020 CDC IVF success rates looked at 449 clinics across the United States. A frozen embryo transfer cycle using donor eggs resulted in a 44.5% singleton live birth rate. Whereas a fresh embryo transfer cycle using frozen donor eggs had a 44.1% singleton live birth rate and a fresh transfer from fresh donor eggs resulted in a 49.5% singleton live birth rate.

Although double donation can be costly and time consuming, chances of a successful transfer and birth can exponentially increase when gametes used to create the embryo come from young,  healthy donors.