egg donors

If you are considering using a surrogate and an egg donor to help you start or grow your family, the order in which you find a surrogate or egg donor will depend on your individual circumstances and needs. In this guide, we’ll go over a few things to consider when deciding whether to find a surrogate or an egg donor first.

Surrogacy vs. egg donation

Surrogacy is a process in which a woman carries and delivers a child for someone else. If you are considering using a gestational carrier (aka surrogate), you will likely need to work with an agency to help match with someone who has been pre-qualified to carry your child. You will also need to work through the legal and medical aspects of surrogacy, including the surrogacy agreement and the medical screening and evaluation process.

An egg donor is a woman who donates her eggs to another person or couple. If you are considering using an egg donor, you will need to match with an egg donor who is willing to donate her eggs to you. You will also need to consider the medical and legal aspects of using an egg donor, including the egg donor agreement and the medical screening, evaluation, and retrieval process.

Who would need both a surrogate and egg donor?

There are lots of cases where families need both a gestational carrier and egg donor to have a child. Here are a few examples:

• Infertility: Some individuals or couples may be unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term due to infertility. In these cases, they may consider using both a surrogate and an egg donor to help them increase their chances of having a child.
• Single individuals: Some single individuals, especially those born male, may consider using a surrogate and an egg donor, along with their own sperm or donor sperm, to help them become parents.
• LGBTQ+ couples: Some same-sex couples may consider using a surrogate and an egg donor to help them become parents. For example, a gay male couple may use a surrogate and an egg donor to carry and give birth to a child that is genetically related to one of the men.
• Medical conditions: Some individuals or couples may have medical conditions that prevent them from getting pregnant, undergoing IVF, and/or carrying a pregnancy to term. In these cases, they may consider using both a surrogate to carry their child for them.

So which comes first, egg donor or surrogate?

In most cases, we recommend starting by matching with an egg donor. Many surrogacy agencies cannot sign up families who do not yet have healthy embryos to transfer. This is because gestational carriers are in high demand and they don’t want to wait months after matching in order to start the transfer process. On the other hand, once you have embryos made through donor eggs, those can be frozen and used at any point in the future.

You could also begin the search for a gestational carrier and an egg donor at the same time, knowing that the waitlist for a gestational carrier is far longer than the process to get donor eggs.

How long does it take to match with an egg donor?

The timeline can vary, but in total the process from match to cycle with Cofertility is generally be two to four months. Once you create a free account, you’ll gain access to our matching platform and can start to learn more about our donors. After you match with a Split member (who will be freezing her eggs and donating half to your family), we begin the process of scheduling her screening and testing with your clinic, which generally takes a few weeks. Once your doctor gives the go-ahead, we’d set a date for the cycle at a time that is mutually convenient. 

You may decide to fertilize the embryos as soon as the eggs are retrieved or you can freeze the eggs and thaw them to be fertilized at a later date. If you do create embryos at the time of retrieval, they can be frozen in storage until you match with a surrogate or are ready to move forward with the transfer.  

How long does it take to match with a surrogate?

The process of matching with a surrogate varies in length and may depend on a variety of factors, including the location and availability of surrogates, the intended parents' preferences and requirements, and the legal and medical requirements involved in the surrogacy process based on your state. In general, the process of finding a surrogate may take several months to a year.

Learn more

Ultimately, the decision of whether to find a surrogate or an egg donor first will depend on your individual circumstances and needs. It may be helpful to speak with your doctor to determine the best course of action for your situation.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. Create a free account today!

Making sense of fertility statistics can feel overwhelming, but numbers help tell the story of donor egg IVF in the United States. From success rates to costs, demographic trends to treatment guidelines, data provides valuable insights for those considering this path to parenthood. Let’s look at the numbers that shape donor egg IVF today.

10,000: Annual births from donor eggs

In 2021, nearly 10,000 babies were born in the United States through donor egg IVF. This represents approximately 1 in 373 births nationwide, highlighting how this treatment has become an established family-building option.

25%: Percent of IVF moms over 40 who used donor eggs

For women over 40 pursuing IVF, donor eggs often provide the best chance of success. Data shows that 25% of women in this age group who succeeded with IVF did so using donor eggs. This statistic reflects the significant impact of egg quality on treatment outcomes.

6: Components of medical screening

Comprehensive medical screening forms the foundation of successful donor egg IVF, typically requiring hours of medical appointments and evaluations spread over several weeks or months. This thorough process protects both donors and recipients while optimizing treatment success rates. Medical screening includes:

• Genetic testing
• Infectious disease screening
• Psychological evaluation
• Physical examination
• Family medical history review
• Fertility assessment

Read more in How Does Cofertility Screen Egg Donors?

54%: Live birth rates with fresh donor egg

This may sound low, but donor egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment. For an average woman with diminished ovarian reserve, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40. Rates of pregnancy with donor eggs are higher at every age. Several factors influence success:

• Donor age and health status
• Sperm quality
• Recipient uterine health
• Clinic protocols and expertise
• Number of embryos transferred
• Embryo quality

21-34: Age requirements for egg donors

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) sets clear age guidelines for egg donors:

• Minimum age: 21 years old
• Maximum age: 34 years old

These parameters aim to optimize success rates while protecting donor health and autonomy. The minimum age ensures donors can make informed decisions about participation, while the maximum age increases the chances there will be enough high quality eggs.

Read more in Why Egg Donor Age Matters (And Why It Doesn't)

6: Maximum number of egg donation cycles a donor should go through

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends limiting donors to six egg retrieval cycles in their lifetime. This guideline stems from medical concerns about the cumulative effects of ovarian stimulation and retrieval procedures. 

Most donors at Cofertility complete two cycles, well within these safety parameters. This also limits the number of biological half siblings that your donor conceived children may have, a fact that’s important to many of our intended parents and donors alike. 

84.2%: Percent of donor egg embryos that are chromosomally normal

Research shows that 84.2% of donor egg blastocysts are chromosomally normal (euploid), while 15.8% are abnormal (aneuploid). Breaking down the numbers:

• 97.1% egg survival rate after thaw
• 59.1% of embryos reach the blastocyst stage
• On average, 9 donor eggs yield about 4-5 chromosomally normal embryos

83.3%: Egg sharing donors who would donate again

Research on egg share donors' experiences reveals high satisfaction levels: 83.3% would donate again, while only 2.1% reported regret about their decision to participate. These numbers suggest that with proper screening and support, most egg share donors feel positive about their choice to help others build families.

62%: Portion of donor-conceived people who feel the exchange of money for donor gametes is wrong

A 2021 Harvard study found that 62% of donor-conceived adults felt the exchange of money for donor gametes was wrong, and 41% were troubled by the fact that money was exchanged around their conception. 

This is why we created our Split program.  This unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

$5,000: Recommended compensation guidelines

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine suggests donor compensation should not exceed $5,000 per cycle in the United States. This contrasts sharply with European guidelines, where compensation averages around 900 euros per cycle. These differences reflect varying approaches to egg donation globally, from more commercial U.S. models to altruistic European frameworks. Despite this, compensation for egg donation has been steadily rising and can vary based on a donor’s education or heritage. 

At Cofertility, our program is unique in that our donors do not receive cash compensation. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing. By allowing our donors to freeze their eggs as part of the process, our unique model honors everyone involved. Plus, the process with Cofertility will never cost more based on the donor’s background. 

12: Average number of mature eggs a Cofertility family receives in our fresh Split program

In Cofertility’s fresh program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

While you can agree to complete two cycles upfront, many matches who are interested in two cycles choose to see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our Baby Guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional Cofertility coordination fee.

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

An egg donor is someone who generously contributes her genetic material to help create a family. While her role is crucial, she may not always have an ongoing relationship with the recipient family. However, the terminology used to refer to her not only reflects feelings about her role in the family-building journey but it can also influence how your child and others perceive this relationship well into the future. 

Choosing the right term to describe your egg donor is a very personal decision with different factors to take into consideration. Factors such as your family’s cultural context, belief systems, who you are sharing this information with, and the degree to which you want to emphasize or de-emphasize the donor’s role in your family narrative all play a role in what you decide to call your egg donor.  

For cultures or personal beliefs that value biological lineage, intended parents might use a term such as "biological/genetic contributor/donor" to acknowledge the egg donor's role but without implying any type of emotional or social connection. Those who believe parenting is defined by nurture rather than nature may use something such as "the person who helped grow our family." If the donor is known, then the person’s name might be used, and she may be described as “our helper.”

When talking to your child, consider using terms that are easy for them to understand and age-appropriate while keeping in mind that honesty and simplicity are key. You want to tailor the language to their age and level of understanding and emphasize the love and intention that brought them into the world. Using respectful and appreciative terms can help your child feel confident and secure in their origins.

Deciding what to call your egg donor is not just about your family’s internal language—it’s also about how you communicate with extended family, friends, and others. Consider your audience. If you are speaking with friends/family who know about your journey and you feel comfortable, you might simply say “our donor” or use her name if she’s known to you. For those less familiar or not as close to you, a simpler term like “a donor” keeps the focus on your family rather than the process. A lot of it also comes down to how much information you’re comfortable sharing. Using a term like “a donor” can keep the focus on your family without inviting further questions unless you want to elaborate. 

Here are some commonly used terms:

• Egg donor is a straightforward term that is commonly used and accurately describes the donor’s role without implying a deeper emotional connection.
• Biological/genetic contributor is a more technical term. This term emphasizes the genetic contribution without suggesting any other role. 
• Special helper is often used with young children to frame the donor’s role in a simple, positive light.
• The donor’s first name is common for families with a known donor.

The choice of what to call your egg donor is a personal one, shaped by your unique journey and family dynamics. By thoughtfully considering the donor’s role, your child’s needs, and your personal values, you can select terminology that feels authentic and respectful for everyone involved. Ultimately, there is no "right" or "wrong" term to use. Trust your instincts and choose language that aligns with your family’s values and comfort level.

The use of donor eggs has become increasingly common in recent years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), donor egg IVF accounts for approximately 12% of all IVF cycles in the United States. This percentage has been steadily rising, reflecting both advancements in medical technology and changing societal norms around family building.

As the CEO of Cofertility, every day I talk to individuals and couples seeking information about donor egg IVF. This guide aims to demystify the process and answer the top questions I get about this increasingly common fertility treatment option.

Frequently Asked Questions About Donor Egg IVF

Q1 What is donor egg IVF?!

Donor egg IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) is a fertility treatment where eggs from a donor are combined with sperm to create embryos, which are then transferred to the intended mother's uterus or a gestational carrier. This process offers hope to those who cannot use their own eggs due to various factors such as advanced maternal age, diminished ovarian reserve, or genetic concerns. It's also a vital option for same-sex male couples and single men who wish to become parents, as well as for women who are unable to produce their own eggs for medical reasons.

Q2 Who might consider donor egg IVF?

Donor egg IVF can be an option for:

• Women over 40 with reduced egg quality or quantity
• Women with premature ovarian failure or early menopause
• Same-sex male couples 
• Individuals with a history of unsuccessful IVF cycles using their own eggs
• Those with certain genetic conditions they wish to avoid passing on
• Single men 

Q3: How much does donor egg IVF cost?

The cost of donor egg IVF can vary widely depending on factors such as location, clinic, and whether you're using a fresh or frozen donor egg cycle. For a detailed breakdown of pricing at Cofertility, view our pricing page.

Unlike other agencies, Cofertility offers a baby guarantee. If at any point along your egg donation journey, something out of your control prevents you from bringing your baby home, we’ll re-match you for free or we’ll offer you a full or partial refund if you do not move forward with another donor.

To read more about Cofertility’s Baby Guarantee, including how it applies to our fresh and frozen egg donation programs, click here.

Q4: How are egg donors screened?

Egg donors undergo extensive screening, including:

• Medical history review
• Physical examination
• Infectious disease testing
• Genetic carrier screening
• Psychological evaluation
• Drug screening

At Cofertility, we ensure all our donors meet the highest standards set by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM).

Q5: Can I choose the characteristics of my egg donor?

Yes, to varying degrees. You can typically select donors based on physical characteristics, educational background, personal interests, and more. However, it's important to remember that genetics is complex, and a child may or may not inherit specific traits from a donor. Sometimes even biological children look NOTHING like their parents. 

Q6: Will the baby be genetically related to me?

If you're the egg recipient, the baby will not be genetically related to you but will be genetically related to the egg donor and the sperm provider. However, if you carry the pregnancy, you'll still have a biological connection through epigenetics and the gestational bond.

Q7: What's the difference between fresh and frozen donor eggs?

Fresh donor eggs are retrieved and fertilized immediately, requiring synchronization between the donor and recipient's cycles. Frozen donor eggs are eggs that have been previously retrieved, frozen, and stored. Frozen eggs offer more flexibility in timing and can be more cost-effective, while fresh cycles may have slightly higher success rates.

Read more: Cofertility’s Fresh Vs. Frozen Egg Donation Program: Which is Right for Me?

Q8: How many eggs does a donor typically provide?

In Cofertility’s fresh program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

In Cofertility’s frozen program, you will know how many eggs there are available in advance, with the minimum being 6. 

Q9: Can I meet my egg donor?

At most egg donation agencies, no. But at Cofertility, we believe in the importance of openness and offer options for various levels of contact between donors and recipients, always prioritizing the comfort levels of all parties involved.

You and the donor may choose to meet as part of the match process. Most our match meetings happen over Zoom, with a Member Advocate in the meeting to help facilitate. Other match meetings happen on the phone. Either way, the meeting can be facilitated with or without sharing contact information. Some intended parents choose not to meet but to instead share information about themselves via a letter, slides, or video to their donor. 

Q10: What are the risks of donor egg IVF?

For egg donors, risks are similar to those of standard IVF, including potential side effects from fertility medications and minor risks associated with the egg retrieval procedure. For recipients, risks are primarily related to the embryo transfer and pregnancy itself. Your fertility doctor will discuss all potential risks in detail.

Q11: What are the success rates of donor egg IVF?

Donor egg IVF generally has higher success rates compared to IVF using a woman's own eggs, especially for older women. Success rates can vary but are often around 50-60% per transfer, regardless of the recipient parent’s age.

Read more in IVF Success Rates by Age

The Cofertility difference

At Cofertility, we're committed to making donor egg IVF more accessible and human-centered. Our unique egg sharing program allows women to freeze their eggs for free when donating half of the retrieved eggs to an intended parent. This approach not only makes egg freezing more accessible for our donors but also provides high-quality eggs to those who need them.

We prioritize transparency, ethical practices, and support for all parties involved in the donor egg process. Our team is here to guide you through every step, from selecting a donor to navigating the medical procedures and beyond.

If you have more questions about donor egg IVF or want to explore your options, don't hesitate to reach out. Your path to parenthood is important to us, and we're here to help you navigate it with confidence and care.

For many international intended parents, working with an American egg donor offers a path to parenthood that combines high medical standards, a diverse donor pool, and well-established legal protections. If you're considering this route, you're not alone. The United States has become a popular destination for international intended parents seeking egg donation services, thanks to its advanced reproductive technologies and comprehensive donor screening processes.

In this article, we'll explore the advantages of working with American egg donors and guide you through the process as an international intended parent. We'll cover everything from matching with a donor to understanding additional considerations unique to your situation.

Advantages of working with an American egg donor agency

Choosing to work with an American egg donor comes with several benefits:

1. High medical standards: The U.S. has some of the world's most advanced fertility clinics and stringent medical regulations, ensuring high-quality care throughout the process.
2. Diverse donor pool: America's large and multicultural population means you're more likely to find a donor who matches your family, whether that's in terms of ethnicity or personality. 
3. Comprehensive screening: U.S. agencies like Cofertility typically conduct thorough genetic and medical screenings of potential donors, providing you with detailed health information.
4. Legal protections: The U.S. has well-established legal processes for egg donation, offering clear protections for all parties involved.

Understanding the process

Timeline: The egg donation process can take several months from start to finish. This includes time for matching with a donor, medical screenings, legal processes, and the actual medical procedures.

Matching with a Cofertility donor: At Cofertility, we offer two primary options for egg donation: fresh egg donation and frozen egg donation.

Fresh cycle donation: If you match with a donor who is undergoing a  fresh cycle, you'll need to work with a U.S.-based fertility clinic. While you don't have to reside in the U.S., you'll need to establish care with the clinic and provide a sperm sample, which may require an in-person visit. Cofertility can help you select a clinic in a city you're likely to visit or where your chosen donor is based, minimizing travel for all parties.

Frozen egg donation: If you match with a donor whose eggs are already frozen, her retrieval would have taken place in the US but these eggs may be able to be  shipped to your home clinic, potentially eliminating the need for you to travel to the U.S. Note that countries have varying laws around accepting frozen eggs - we share more on this below.

All Cofertility donors undergo comprehensive medical clearance before donation, and our services come with our Baby Guarantee, providing additional peace of mind for intended parents.

Disclosed vs. undisclosed relationships: You'll have the option to choose the type of donor relationship that works best for your family.  In a disclosed arrangement, you and the donor may share identifying information and potentially maintain contact. An undisclosed arrangement means that there are no names or contact information exchanged  between the two parties.

Parentage and citizenship considerations

While we can't provide specific legal advice, it's important to consult with a lawyer experienced in international reproductive law. They can guide you on issues of legal parentage and potential citizenship considerations for your child, especially if you're also working with a surrogate.

Laws vary significantly between countries, and it's essential to understand how your home country's laws interact with U.S. laws regarding egg donation and parentage. Some countries may require additional steps to recognize you as the legal parent or to grant citizenship to a child born through egg donation.

Shipping eggs or embryos abroad

If you're planning to use the donated eggs or resulting embryos in your home country, you'll need to consider the logistics and legalities of international shipping.

Eggs and embryos are routinely shipped internationally. They can survive in specially designed tanks for over a week, making intercontinental transport feasible. You’ll want to work with a reputable shipping company that specializes in transporting genetic material. These companies understand the delicate nature of the cargo and the strict temperature controls required.

The ability to import eggs or embryos varies by country. Some nations have strict regulations or even prohibitions on importing genetic material. For instance, countries like India and Turkey require special permission from their respective Ministries of Health to import genetic materials. Research your country's specific laws or consult with a local fertility clinic familiar with international cases.

You’ll also want to ensure that your home clinic is equipped to receive and work with shipped eggs or embryos. They should have experience with international cases and be familiar with the protocols for handling shipped genetic material.

How much does it cost to match with a U.S.-based egg donor?

Working with an American egg donor may involve higher costs compared to some other countries. However, many intended parents find the advantages outweigh the additional expense. Be prepared for:

• Agency fees
• Medical procedure costs
• Legal fees
• Potential travel expenses
• International shipping costs (if applicable)
• Donor compensation (with everyone except Cofertility!)

If you work with Cofertility, you won’t have to pay donor compensation. Our unique egg sharing model means donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family. This empowers egg donors to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime.

Visit our pricing page to learn more about costs. 

Summing it up

Working with an American egg donor as an international intended parent offers many advantages, from high medical standards to a more diverse donor pool. While the process involves unique considerations around legal issues, logistics, and cultural differences, with proper planning and support, it can be a rewarding path to parenthood.

At Cofertility, we're committed to supporting international intended parents throughout their journey. Our team understands the unique challenges you face and is here to provide guidance, support, and access to our thoroughly screened egg donors.

Remember, every family-building journey is unique. By choosing to work with an American egg donor, you're taking a significant step towards realizing your dreams of parenthood. With careful planning, open communication, and the right support team, you can navigate this process successfully, no matter where in the world you call home.

As parents who have chosen to build their family through egg donation, one question that may linger in your mind is whether your child will one day want to meet the egg donor that made their birth possible. The answer is maybe. Some donor-conceived people do want to meet the egg donor, some want to just know more about them, and others simply do not care to know them at all. Understanding the range of experiences and feelings donor-conceived individuals often have can help you prepare for this possibility and be the best parent possible!

The curiosity factor

It's natural for donor-conceived individuals to be curious about their genetic origins. This curiosity doesn't necessarily reflect dissatisfaction with their family life or a lack of connection with their parents. Rather, it's often driven by a desire to understand more about their biological background, medical history, or simply to put a face to the person who played a role in their existence.

Think about it this way: some people are really interested in genealogy. They want to know where their ancestors are from, and spend lots of time and money mapping their family tree, while others simply could care less. Donor-conceived individuals are the same way. Some want to know as much as possible about their genetic origins, and others less so. 

Research on donor-conceived individuals

Studies have shown that many donor-conceived individuals do express interest in learning about or meeting their donors. However, these studies may have some response bias as they tend to use donor registries to collect responses. Donor registries are optional registries used by donor-conceived people to find out their genetic heritage and to find half-siblings from the same egg or sperm donor. If someone is on a registry, then they have already expressed interest in learning more about their genetic origins.

These studies also tend to focus on donor-conceived children via sperm donation. It’s unclear how the experiences of individuals born from sperm donation differ from those born via egg donation.

One such study looked at survey responses from individuals recruited from the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR). Of the 165 donor offspring who completed the survey, 15% were searching for their donor siblings, 13% were searching for their donor, and 64% were searching for both. Those who had found out about their donor conception after age 18 were more likely to be searching for medical reasons, whereas those who had found out before age 18 tended to be searching out of curiosity.

When asked why they were searching for their donor, 89% of respondents stated a curiosity about the characteristics of the donor. 71% wanted to meet the donor, but notably 0 stated a desire to form a relationship. Other common reasons included a better understanding of their ancestral history (79%), medical reasons (54%), and “to have a better understanding of why I am who I am” (75%)

Factors influencing a child's interest

Several factors can influence whether and how much a donor-conceived child wants to know about or meet their donor:

1. Age of disclosure: Children who learn about their donor conception at a young age often process this information more easily than those who find out later in life.
2. Family dynamics: Open communication and a supportive family environment can help children feel more secure in exploring their feelings about their donor.
3. Individual personality: Some individuals are naturally more curious about their origins than others.
4. Access to information: The amount of information available about the donor can impact a child's desire to know more.
5. Cultural and societal attitudes: Changing perspectives on donor conception and family structures can influence how donor-conceived individuals view their situation.

We always encourage families to be open with their children about their biological roots. Experts suggest normalizing the conversation from a young age, to remove any shame. 

Read more in How to Talk to Your Donor-Conceived Child About Their Conception Story

Supporting your child 

If your child grows up and expresses to you that they would like to know more about their egg donor, that means you’ve done a great job giving them a safe space to explore who they are. We know mothers via egg donation are great moms. In fact, one study found that children in egg donation families viewed their relationships with their mothers as significantly higher in warmth and enjoyment than did children in the control group of IVF families.

While you can't predict whether your child will want to meet their donor, you can prepare for this possibility:

1. Open communication: Foster an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing their feelings about their donor conception.
2. Early disclosure: Experts recommend telling children about their donor conception from an early age, making it a natural part of their story.
3. Gather information: Collect as much information about the donor as possible, which you can share with your child as they grow older.
4. Respect your child's feelings: If your child expresses interest in their donor, acknowledge and validate their feelings, even if they differ from your own.
5. Seek support: Consider joining support groups for families formed through egg donation. These can provide valuable insights and resources.

As a parent, you might experience a range of emotions if your child expresses interest in their donor. It's normal to feel a mix of curiosity, anxiety, or even jealousy. Remember that your child's interest in their donor doesn't diminish their love for you or your role as their parent. It's simply part of their journey of self-discovery.

Summing it up

The question of whether your donor-conceived child will want to meet their egg donor is one that only time can answer. What's most important is creating an environment of openness, honesty, and support, where your child feels free to explore their feelings and ask questions as they grow.

Remember, your child's interest in their donor doesn't diminish their connection to you as their parent. It's simply another aspect of their identity and personal history. By approaching this possibility with understanding and preparation, you can help your child navigate their feelings about their donor conception in a healthy way.

Ultimately, every donor-conceived person's journey is unique. Some may have a strong desire to meet their donor, others may be content with the information they have, and still others may have little interest in exploring this aspect of their background. What matters most is that they feel loved, supported, and secure in their family, regardless of how their family was formed.

At Cofertility, we're committed to supporting families throughout their egg donation journey. Whether you're just starting to consider egg donation or you're navigating life as a parent of a donor-conceived child, we're here to provide resources, support, and a community of families who understand your experience.

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Read more:

• The Impact of Using an Anonymous Egg Donor on Your Donor-Conceived Child
• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• Nine Things To Know About Raising A Donor-Conceived Child

In the world of reproductive medicine, the boundaries of what's possible are constantly being pushed further by advances in technology and science. For many, the journey to parenthood is straightforward, but for others, it's a path marked by challenges and the need for medical intervention. As a fertility doctor who has worked with countless patients over the years, I understand the desire to build a family, regardless of the obstacles that may stand in the way. 

Among these challenges, menopause has traditionally been seen as a definitive end to a woman's fertility. In this article, I’ll answer the question, can a menopausal woman get pregnant with donor eggs? 

Understanding menopause and fertility

Menopause is a natural biological process marking the end of a woman's reproductive years, characterized by the cessation of menstrual cycles for twelve consecutive months. This transition typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 but can happen earlier or later. Menopause signifies the depletion of ovarian follicles and a significant decline in estrogen and progesterone levels, hormones crucial for ovulation and pregnancy.

The question of fertility during or after menopause is complex. Naturally, menopause signifies the end of a woman's ability to conceive using her own eggs. However, this does not mean the end of her capacity to carry a pregnancy to term. The uterus, if healthy, can still support a pregnancy with the help of hormonal support, regardless of the woman's age or menopausal status.

Can you get pregnant with donor eggs after menopause?

Donor egg IVF is a common path for those who cannot conceive using their own eggs. This process involves using eggs donated by a younger woman (if you work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, the donor donates half of the eggs retrieved and keeps the other half for her own future use), which are then fertilized with sperm (from a partner or a sperm donor) in a laboratory setting. The resulting embryos are transferred to the recipient's uterus.

For menopausal women, donor egg IVF offers a viable path to pregnancy. The critical factor is then the ability of the uterus to maintain a pregnancy. Before the procedure, the recipient undergoes hormonal treatment to prepare the uterus for implantation, mimicking the hormonal conditions of a natural pregnancy. 

All pregnancies carry risks, and pregnancy over 45 is no exception. One small study followed 45 healthy mothers ages 50-63 who used donor eggs, and found that 35% experienced pregnancy-related hypertension (high blood pressure), 20% experienced gestational diabetes, and 78% had a cesarean section. It is important to undergo a consultation with your OBGYN or a high-risk specialist to ensure pregnancy is safe. For those who cannot safely or healthfully carry a pregnancy, surrogacy is also an option.

Read more in: What Matters More: The Age of My Egg Donor, or of Who is Carrying The Pregnancy?

It’s important to remember that your age when you (or your gestational carrier) get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs. That means your chances of success getting pregnant, no matter your age now, is better with younger eggs. But how do you get younger eggs? For some lucky women, they can use eggs they froze years ago. But for most of us, getting younger eggs means turning to egg donation. 

Is there an age limit for IVF with donor eggs?

Technically, there is no age limit (legal or otherwise) in the United States for pursuing IVF with or without donor eggs.  But ASRM discourages IVF for women older than 55, and some clinics set their own age limits for patients they will treat. 

For women over 45 years old, ASRM advises:

• “Comprehensive” medical testing for cardiovascular and metabolic fitness to ensure the safety of the mother and baby during pregnancy 
• Psychosocial evaluation to determine if support is in place to raise a child to adulthood
• Counseling patients on potential increased medical risks related to pregnancy

For families using donor eggs and a gestational carrier, ASRM would advise that the family undergo psychological evaluation to ensure the parents are equipped to raise the child at an older-than-average age. 

Navigating the journey with Cofertility

At Cofertility, we've embraced a unique egg sharing model that empowers donors and helps families find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily. We understand the multitude of questions and concerns that come with considering donor egg IVF, from the screening process for donors to the potential outcomes of the IVF cycle.

Our approach is rooted in compassion and understanding, acknowledging the emotional and financial investment involved in fertility treatments. That’s why we've designed the most parent-friendly Baby Guarantee in the market, aiming to alleviate some of the financial stress and uncertainty that can accompany this journey. Our goal is to provide you with the care and support we would want for our own families, guiding you through every step of the process.

Addressing concerns and providing support

We know that considering donor eggs, especially during or after menopause, is a significant decision. Concerns about the donor's health and the success rate of the procedure are common. Our rigorous screening process ensures that all donors meet stringent health criteria. Additionally, advancements in reproductive technology have significantly improved the success rates of donor egg IVF, offering encouraging news for those who choose this path.

The decision to pursue pregnancy through donor eggs is deeply personal and involves careful consideration of many factors, including physical, emotional, and financial aspects. At Cofertility, we are here to provide information, support, and guidance, helping you navigate these considerations and make informed decisions about your fertility journey.

Summing it up

The question of whether a menopausal woman can get pregnant with donor eggs is met with a hopeful yes, thanks to the remarkable advancements in reproductive medicine. At Cofertility, we stand at the forefront of these innovations, committed to serving all families with a vision of inclusivity and support. Our unique egg sharing model and comprehensive care approach aim to set a new standard for excellence in the field, offering a beacon of hope for those dreaming of building their family. As we continue to push the boundaries of what's possible in fertility treatment, we promise to provide the support, care, and innovation needed to turn those dreams into reality.

Read more

• How to Talk to Your Doctor About Working with Cofertility
• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• Am I Too Old to Become a Parent?
• What You Should Know About Getting Pregnant with Donor Eggs in Your 40s and 50s

As someone who has been working as a Psychologist in the field of fertility for many years, egg donation is a common topic of conversation that I have with my clients. Many who come to see me are working with egg donors and they express the high level of stress they feel and want to learn how to manage all the emotional challenges involved in seeking and working with an egg donor.

Understanding the stress factors in egg donation

Making the decision to work with an egg donor to start your family is a major life decision. A major life decision that can cause a lot of stress. Stress due to uncertainty, financial costs, failure…. the list goes on. 

Stress is your body’s response to something you perceive to be difficult. Your body responds to this by going into fight or flight. Meaning your body is ready to do what it needs to feel safe again. Everyone experiences stress differently. It may cause you to experience physical, emotional, or mental distress or pressure. But one thing is common, the feeling of overwhelm. It can just feel like too much.  Some start to feel emotionally detached and even start to feel numb to the whole process. On the other end of the spectrum, some may become overly hyper-vigilant. Obsessively checking their emails from their clinic or wanting every single piece of information to ensure an informed decision. Stress can also show up as irritability, heart palpitations or shortness of breath, and even panic attacks. 

All of this is normal. Your body and mind are doing what they think is right to protect you from harm. But there are ways you can cope with stress.

Setting realistic expectations

When potential intended parents tell me they are stressed out about working with an egg donor, inevitably we discover that they have very unrealistic expectations about timelines and outcomes. The thing is, even the best laid plans can go awry and this is especially true with third-party reproduction. Think about it, there are a minimum of 10 people involved with one egg donation cycle. The chance of all 10 being synced up at the same time doesn't always happen. Being realistic means being flexible and adaptable. Knowing that this journey is not a linear progression. There will be delays, cancellations, and obstacles. These things are given. Those rigid expectations need to be loosened up.

Emotional preparedness and support

Having a solid support network can help build resilience and help manage stress. One of the best ways to be prepared is to prepare your network of friends and family. Many keep this journey to themselves for a myriad of reasons and that is fair. At the same time knowing that you can lean on someone can alleviate some stress. Communicate what it is that you need from them and allow them to help.

Support groups that focus on egg donation can be a shining star, especially in times of darkness. You can find people that are going through similar things and can understand how you are feeling. These are great places to learn coping skills that have worked for others in your same situation. 

Staying informed and making informed decisions

You cannot underestimate the power of information. Yet, this is also one area that also causes extreme stress. Yes, please understand the egg donation process thoroughly. But you do not need to understand it at the same level as your REI or embryologist. Take that burden off your shoulders and put trust into your team. Understand the basics, ask questions, read reputable journals if you wish, but once you have chosen your team, trust them and let them do their job. 

Stress-reduction techniques

• Mediation and mindfulness. These are definitely two buzzwords we hear all the time in popular literature. But honestly, they aren’t for everyone and contrary to popular belief they don’t necessarily reduce stress. In fact, some research shows that they can increase stress. This is because you are so focused on your thoughts or physical sensations that your stress increases. If you find these tools to be beneficial then by all means go for it.

• Organize your time. If you know you only have 15 minutes to get to your appointment before you need to get back to work, then don’t schedule your appointment for that time. Don’t schedule appointments back-to-back either. Give yourself some breathing room. Many times parents are sitting in my therapy room, staring at the clock because they need to be at their doctor's appointment so they can’t focus on anything, only increasing their stress. 

• Make a list. Write down all the things that you need to do. Organize them in order of importance. 
• Set easy to reach goals. Setting smaller, more achievable goals can help us feel more satisfied and in control. For example instead of: go to the gym 5 days a week for 1 hour. Write: go to the gym on Monday at 3pm and ride the stationary bike for 20 minutes. 
• Be honest. Things that seemed easy and no big deal before you started this journey can feel a lot more difficult. That is because they are more difficult. You have a lot on your mind and a lot going on. So, If you can’t go to that birthday dinner after your blood tests, then don’t go. If you take on too much during this time, you will feel even more stressed. 

Summing it up

While you are seeking an egg donor just expect that you will feel stressed, overwhelmed, and tired. Now is the time for self-compassion, patience and self-care. Lean on your people, take a break and be kind to yourself. 

Read more:

• Six Reasons Why Egg Sharing is a Better Egg Donation Model for Intended Parents
• Coming to Terms with Using Donor Eggs
• My Doctor Suggested Using Donor Eggs. Now What?
• Building Your Family Through Egg Donation After Infertility: Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster

When embarking on the journey of building a family with the help of an egg donor, there are a lot of people trained and ready to help you. Understanding who these individuals are, their functions, and the right time to engage them can be pivotal in your path to parenthood.

Here, we delineate the various members of your fertility care team and the services they offer, providing clarity on who you will be collaborating with during your journey with an egg donor.

Obstetrician-Gynecologist (OBGYN)

An OBGYN, specializing in women's reproductive health, provides essential insights into fertility and hormonal health. While not directly involved in the egg donation process, their advice is a critical step towards more specialized treatment.

Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI)

An REI, an OBGYN with additional training in reproductive endocrinology, is pivotal in your journey. They specialize in the hormonal and medical aspects of fertility, overseeing the egg donation process, including the screening and preparation of the donor eggs.

Nurse Coordinator

Acting as a central figure in patient care, the Nurse Coordinator ensures smooth coordination of patient education, scheduling, and medication management, vital for synchronizing the efforts of the entire fertility team.

Embryologist

The Embryologist, based at the fertility clinic, plays a crucial role. They are responsible for the fertilization and cultivation of embryos, using the donated eggs, and ensuring their optimal development.

Egg Donation Agency

For additional guidance and support, agencies like Cofertility streamline your journey. We assist in finding the right clinic, connecting with egg donors, and filling in gaps beyond what a standard fertility clinic offers.

Surrogacy Agency

A Surrogacy Agency is helpful for intended parents who need a gestational carrier in their journey. Agencies can help handle various aspects, including legal agreements, surrogate screening, and coordination of the pregnancy journey, ensuring a smooth and supportive surrogacy process.

Read: Which Should I Find First: An Egg Donor or a Surrogate?

Financial Counselor

Understanding and navigating the financial aspects of egg donation is a significant concern. Financial Counselors, who are generally employed by a fertility clinic, specialize in clarifying this area, helping you explore insurance and financing options.

Fertility Courier

The Fertility Courier, though often unseen, is entrusted with the critical task of safely transporting frozen embryos from the egg donor’s clinic to yours, playing a vital role in the logistical aspect of your journey.

Cryostorage Facility

A cryostorage facility serves as the vault for your frozen tissue. Specializing in the preservation of biological material, these facilities are where your eggs and embryos reside when not in use. We have a partnership with TMRW where we have negotiated discounted rates for our members. 

Genetic Counselor

Being a carrier doesn't mean you have the condition, but it can still be concerning when your genetic testing reveals you have a genetic predispositions to certain conditions. Your genetic counselor helps you understand the implications of your carrier status. They can explain the risks, potential impacts on future children, and provide guidance on family planning.

Third-Party Reproductive (TPR) Care Coordinator

A clinic employee who works in the field of assisted reproductive technology (ART) and reproductive medicine. Their primary role is to facilitate and coordinate various aspects of third-party reproduction, which involves using donated eggs, sperm, or embryos, as well as gestational surrogacy.

If you work with Cofertility, there are even more people you will work with along the way.

Our Family by Co platform honors families and egg donors with a thoughtful, human-centered matching experience. Our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving families the gift of a lifetime.

Member Advocate

At Cofertility, the Member Advocate serves as your personalized concierge, easing communication among all the parties above and ensuring a smooth journey  from start to finish. A Member Advocate plays a crucial role in supporting you through the complex and highly regulated process of egg freezing and donation, helping you navigate the medical, emotional, and logistical aspects of preserving your fertility with compassion, evidence-based research and trustworthy guidance.

Fertility Psychologist

Emotional support is invaluable. A Fertility Psychologist on the team offers therapeutic support, addressing the psychological and emotional dimensions of your journey.

Third-Party Reproduction Lawyer

Upon matching with a donor, a Fertility Lawyer ensures all agreements adhere to legal standards. We can help you find a lawyer with expertise in this space, or you can find your own. 

Each individual's journey is unique, and not everyone will need the same team or services. It's crucial to ask questions and advocate for your needs, as your path should be as unique as you are. The most important member of your fertility team is you.

Cofertility has a preferred network of partners nationwide, ready to assist in every aspect of your egg donation journey, from legal contracts to embryo storage. While this list might seem daunting, working with us ensures that most interactions are efficiently managed on your behalf.

Thanks to scientific advances in the fertility industry, egg donation has increased tremendously over the past several decades. The option of working with an egg donor provides hope for those who otherwise would not be able to build a family. 

If you decide to work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, you’ll know the donor went through a rigorous process. Our team screens thousands of donors each year through a multi-step process to ensure each person is qualified and prepared to become an egg donor, going above and beyond FDA and ASRM-recommended screening guidelines. 

In this article, I’ll share a little more about this process. 

The importance of a thorough egg donor vetting process

To optimize safety and outcomes, donors go through a rigorous vetting process. This comprehensive donor screening occurs to ensure proper informed consent from the donor and to ensure there are no contraindications to donating. Because of potential long-term medical and psychological consequences to donating one’s DNA, the vetting process needs to be very thorough.

How are egg donors screened?

Application & medical screening

Donors apply to our program with an in-depth application that includes questions about their personal and family medical history, lifestyle, gynecological background, education and professional background, and other areas. This application can take over an hour to complete. Donors complete the family medical history with their own medical history in mind, as well as first and second degree relatives (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and grandparents).

Our clinical operations team reviews each application closely to evaluate eligibility based on personal and family medical history. These eligibility guidelines come from the FDA and ASRM guidelines for egg donation, as well as from our team of medical advisors. Donors who are approved are healthy and do not have a history of heritable diseases. Many donors don’t get through this initial process, whether that be because their personal and/or family history makes them ineligible or because they do not have all of the information that is required.

Interview

Once the prospective egg donor has completed the initial application and has passed all the basic requirements, we meet with them personally. During this meeting, donors get a chance to ask questions and learn more about egg donation and the staff gets a chance to get to know the donor, understand her reasoning to donate and to make certain she fully understands short term and long term consequences related to their donation. 

Meeting 1:1 with every donor to get at the core of who she is as a person— her values, her goals, her personality— allows us to provide you with the most thoughtful match possible. 

AMH (ovarian reserve) test

An AMH test measures the amount of anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) in your blood. AMH is produced by the cells inside the follicles -  tiny fluid-filled sacs in the ovary that contain and release eggs. AMH levels can tell us the number of eggs a woman has. This is also known as the ovarian reserve. It is important to have this number for egg donation because this test may tell us how well a woman might respond to injectable fertility drugs that will be used during the donation.  

Physical medical exam

After a match and typically around day 3 of the donor’s menstrual cycle, a physical medical exam will be conducted. During this exam a pelvic ultrasound will assess the pelvic anatomy, including the ovaries. The antral follicle count will look at the number of egg-containing follicles developing in the ovaries. These results can tell even more information about the ovarian reserve.

Psychological screening

When cleared by the medical staff a psychological assessment will take place. This is a two to four-hour assessment that will address the moral, ethical, emotional, and social issues related to egg donation. The assessment also includes a standardized and empirically validated test designed to screen mental and behavioral disorders. This assessment looks to ascertain donor suitability for this elective process. To make certain that there are no psychological contraindications for egg donation and that the potential egg donor will be able to fulfill her responsibilities for the cycle, such as following medical protocols. 

Genetic testing

Every donor also undergoes genetic testing. Genetic screening may include a genetic karyotype as well as screening for more common diseases, including Tay-Sachs disease, Canavan disease, sickle cell anemia, α-Thalassemia, β-Thalassemia, and cystic fibrosis. Depending on the donor’s ethnic background and family history, there may be more genetic screening. 

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

You already know how difficult it can be to select the right egg donor match for your family. That is why once you have found a potential match, meeting her (either in person, over video, or on a call), can be a great way to finalize and feel confident about your decision. 

Since starting work in this field as a Fertility Psychologist in 2011, I have facilitated many egg donor match meetings. Sometimes the first few minutes are a little awkward and uncomfortable. That is completely normal. That is why having a facilitator can be great as they can help guide the conversation and keep it moving. 

Below are some questions you can ask during your meeting to get to know your egg donor. When preparing for your meeting, it can be a good idea to write down your questions and also write down hers. These can be placed in your child’s book (if you are making one). 

Also, remember, she will likely ask you questions as well. So think about what you want the egg donor to know about you and your family. 

10 questions to ask when meeting your potential egg donor

1. When did you first learn about egg donation and why did you decide to donate?
   Why are you donating to us? Understanding her reasons for wanting to donate can give you an inside look at her thought process, and understanding why she wants to donate to your family, can create a stronger bond and understanding between you.
2. Who will be your primary support person during the medical procedure? Make sure she has a support system during the process, and ask how you can help. 
3. Have you told your family? Not everyone wants to tell their family and friends, and that’s okay. 
4. If she has donated before, it is okay to ask her questions related to previous donations such as: What went well? What do you wish could have been different? 
5. What are your thoughts about the type of relationship you want to have with our family? Depending on your egg donation agreement, the relationship you have with the egg donor can be anywhere on the spectrum, from no involvement at all to attending birthday parties. There really is no right or wrong. It all just depends on what works best for you, your donor and your respective families. It is also important to keep in mind that like all relationships, this one too will evolve. Some end up drifting apart and others become closer over time. Again, there is no right or wrong here. 
6. Although questions about medical / family medical history are already in their profile, you can still use the time to ask them to clarify anything.
7. Questions about education and career: what are you studying? What about that interests you? What are your career goals? 
8. What do you love to do when not working or going to school?
9. Tell me about your typical day, how does it look?
10. What are your expectations of us during this process? How can we help make this process as smooth as possible?

When asking questions, be respectful and kind, and if you feel she is getting uncomfortable, move on to the next question. 

The emotional and relational dynamics of meeting your egg donor

It is normal to feel all sorts of emotions when meeting with a potential egg donor— from gratitude to being completely nervous. So be prepared to feel. Just remind yourself why you are doing this. Typically at the end of a meeting, most parents and egg donors are even more ready and excited to move forward.   

Meeting your egg donor in-person or virtually is a great way to finalize your decision to use egg donation to grow your family. Bringing that profile to life helps to create a more personal connection with your donor.  

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

Read more:

• Should I Meet My Potential Egg Donor?
• Should I Pick an Egg Donor Who Looks Like Me?
• 10 Facts You Need To Know About Using Donor Eggs
• Five Parents Share What They Wish They Knew Before Using Donor Eggs

If you are a single cis male or in a same-sex male relationship, you will need a gestational carrier to carry and deliver your baby along with donor eggs to create embryos. A fertility psychologist can work with you to discuss the implications of becoming parents, how to talk to your child about their conception and to others around you about your journey. They can also walk you through your feelings, fears, and educate you about the process of becoming parents through third party reproduction. 

The decision-making process

The decision-making process of using donor eggs as a gay couple is a little different than heterosexual couples needing to use donor eggs. One is deciding who will provide the sperm. If both are planning on being biologically related, then you need to decide whose sperm will be used first. You both have to agree upon a donor, a carrier and who will be called what (e.g. I will be dad and you will be papa)

Read more in Gay Men Having Babies: Four Genetic Options with Donor Eggs 

Emotional and psychological considerations

The emotional and psychological considerations involved in using donor eggs as a gay couple include who will provide the sperm or should you have twins? What if it works for one partner but not the other? What if the cycle does not work the first time? How many times will you try? How and when to tell your child about their conception story? Then there is the worry about the donor, such as how much, if any, contact you will have with her now and in the future. What if the donor or your child wants a deeper relationship, does the donor have any rights over your baby?

This process can be stressful and it can create pressure on your relationship as well. Especially because it can be costly and it can be time consuming. And sometimes a gestational carrier backs out or a donor you want is not available.  It is vital for you to always communicate, openly, honestly and thoroughly. 

The impact on the child not having a mother

At some point, your child will start asking questions about not having a mother and about how they were conceived. This is natural especially once the child starts school and sees that some children have mothers.  You and your partner should discuss how and when you will tell your child about their donor. You may also want to speak with family and friends about what terminology you would like them to use as well (for example, how will the donor be referred?)

Two dads, no mom, and the kids are all right

A report, published by the American Academy of Pediatrics states that three decades of research concur that kids of gay parents are doing just fine. “Many studies have demonstrated that children’s well-being is affected much more by their relationships with their parents, their parents’ sense of competence and security, and the presence of social and economic support for the family than by the gender or the sexual orientation of their parents,”

Legal considerations

All intended parents should have an egg donor contract. The contract should state that the egg donor is waiving her parental rights and that all children born from her donated eggs will be the intended parents’ children. The egg donor contract can also spell out payments, and  terms of any potential future relationship between the donor and your child. For example, having an option for allowing future contact with the donor once the child reaches a certain age. If you work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, we will help you with this part.

You should also understand the laws where you live regarding same sex parents, egg donation and surrogacy. For example, some countries will recognize both of you as legal parents of the child, while other countries might not. Some states in the U.S. do not allow single men or gay couples to become parents - meaning you may have to look outside of where you live. 

Read more in Navigating the Legal Landscape: A Guide to Egg Donation & Surrogacy Laws for Gay Dads

Navigating the medical process

Typically gay men need more education and counseling about the female reproductive system than heterosexual couples undergoing donor egg IVF. So you will need to brush up on female anatomy and biology so you have a better understanding of the entire process.  When selecting a fertility clinic, you want to make sure that it is LGBTQ+ friendly and understands the unique needs of gay fathers.  

Next will be selecting your donor. Before you start searching for your donor, decide on some basic characteristics that you would like to have in your donor. This may include things like physical appearance, education level, athletic or musical ability. Perhaps someone of a certain culture or religion is of importance. Remember, you will never find anyone that meets your requirements 100%. So have your list and then divide it into your must have and nice to haves. 

Once your donor has completed all the necessary screening and legal contracts, the egg donor will receive hormone medications to stimulate her ovaries to produce multiple eggs. A fertility doctor will retrieve the donor’s eggs once they are mature. These eggs, or oocytes, can then be fertilized using your sperm and transferred to your carrier or frozen (as embryos) for future use.

If you are wanting each partner to have a biologically related child, will want to either split the eggs that are retrieved so you both get half or you may want to do more than once cycle to ensure each partner has enough eggs to create enough viable embryos. 

For same-sex male couples, to have a biological baby was once just a dream, now it is a reality. Medical science is giving people the chance to find their happiness by having a family of their own. It can be a long, stressful process but know that Cofertility will be by your side, giving you the support you need while navigating this new path to parenthood. 

Read more:

• Five Helpful Questions Gay Dads Should Answer Before Starting a Family
• LGBTQ+ Family-Building Resources
• Which Should I Find First: An Egg Donor or a Surrogate?
• Surrogacy Questions Gay Dads Should be Asking
• The Gay Dad's Guide to Egg Donation

The embryo transfer is an exciting and pivotal time in the in vitro fertilization (IVF) process. It’s when the embryo is transferred to the uterus of the intended mother or a gestational carrier, in hopes that it snuggles in for nine months and becomes the child you’ve always dreamt of.

You may be wondering if you should transfer one (single embryo transfer, or SET) or two (double embryo transfer, or DET) embryos, to increase your chances of a happy, healthy baby.  

This article will dissect the complexities of this decision-making process, taking into consideration both personal choices, and also help answer this question to intended parents using donor eggs.

First off, what is an embryo transfer?

Understanding what an embryo transfer entails is important to appreciating the decision-making process between single or double embryo transfer.

After an egg, or eggs, are fertilized with sperm, an embryo develops in a controlled laboratory environment for a few days under the careful watch of a trained embryologist. If and when the embryo reaches a particular developmental stage (ie. blastocyst stage), it is suitable for transfer.

Now, at this point, some families opt to do PGT testing, which looks to see if the embryo contains the correct amount of chromosomes. Embryos with the right number of chromosomes — 46 — are considered “euploid,” and those with extra chromosomes or chromosome deletions are considered “aneuploid.” PGT is a way to screen for genetic disorders in embryos created through IVF before they are transferred to the uterus. Read more about PGT testing.

All embryos are then “graded” by the embryologist to evaluate their quality and chances of developmental success into a healthy pregnancy. Based on this assessment, your fertility doctor will recommend the order and number of embryos to be transferred. This is the stage where the choice between a single embryo transfer or a double embryo transfer is usually made.

Finally, the selected embryo(s) is transferred to the uterus via a thin catheter, typically under ultrasound guidance. If the embryo implants in the uterine lining, it may lead to pregnancy.

Embryo transfers and the history of IVF

When IVF was in its infancy, following the birth of the first IVF baby, Louise Brown, in 1978, the process was distinctly different from what it is today. In the early days, IVF involved the transfer of fresh embryos, without the technological advancements available now. This is because we didn’t have the technology to freeze and preserve embryos for genetic testing or future transfer.

At the time, this approach was taken to increase the likelihood of pregnancy, compensating for the uncertainties around embryo viability. However, this practice led to a higher incidence of multiple pregnancies (pregnancies of twins, triplets, or more), with associated health risks for both mothers and children.

With the development of cryopreservation techniques, it became possible to freeze embryos for later use, allowing for more flexibility and planning in the transfer process. This technology also enabled better timing for embryo transfer, and gave patients a break between the egg retrieval and embryo transfer. 

Simultaneously, genetic testing of embryos significantly increased the success rates of IVF, even with the transfer of a single embryo.

Guided by these advancements, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) now recommends elective single embryo transfer (eSET) in most cases, especially for women under the age of 35 with a favorable prognosis. This shift towards eSET reflects a growing emphasis on minimizing the risks associated with multiple pregnancies without compromising success rates.

So how many embryos should I transfer?

The decision regarding the number of embryos to transfer should weight the potential success rate against the risks associated with multiple pregnancies. Factors such as age, the quality of the embryos, previous IVF attempts, and individual patient preferences play an important role in this decision.

Let’s go through the pros and cons of each option:

Elective single embryo transfer (eSET)

Pros:

• Reduced risk of multiple births: eSET almost eliminates the chance of a multiple pregnancy (twins, triplets, etc.), thus reducing the associated health risks for both the mother and the babies.

Cons:

• Possibly lower success rates: Some studies have shown that eSET may yield a slightly lower live birth rate compared to double embryo transfer.

Double embryo transfer (DET)

Pros:

• Potentially higher success rates: By transferring two embryos, DET may improve the chances of pregnancy, especially when there are concerns about embryo quality.
• Chance to have twins: If you always wanted twins, transferring two embryos gives you a better chance of that dream.

Cons:

• Riskier pregnancy and birth: DET significantly increases the risk of twins or higher-order multiples, leading to more complicated pregnancies and a higher chance of preterm births and low birth weight.

It’s important to discuss this with your fertility doctor and get their input. Because ASRM usually recommends a single embryo be transferred, in most cases fertility doctors will recommend just that.  

How many donor egg embryos should I transfer?

When donor eggs are utilized, a couple other factors need to be considered. Donor eggs are from younger women who have gone through extensive medical screening, and thus, embryo quality tends to be higher. Because of this, it increases the chances of success, even if the mother is older, or if she experienced failed IVF in the past. In donor egg cases, eSET is generally preferred to minimize the risk of multiple pregnancies while maintaining a satisfactory success rate.

Summing it up

If you are wondering if eSET or DET is right for you, talk to your fertility doctor. They can help talk you through the pros and cons, and help select an approach that best fits your needs.

For those using donor eggs, the generally higher quality might lean the decision towards eSET, while personal preferences and specific medical situations might suggest otherwise. By carefully considering the nuanced pros and cons, you can make a well-informed choice in your pursuit of parenthood. We wish you all the best!

Intended parents are often asking me if they should choose a first-time or proven egg donor. While it may initially seem like a major consideration, in reality, it often plays a relatively minor role in the overall process. In this article, I hope to clarify this question and guide you towards more consequential aspects in your decision-making process.

Understanding egg donation

Egg donation involves a woman donating her eggs to help another family conceive via in-vitro fertilization (IVF). These donated eggs are fertilized in a laboratory, and the resulting embryos are then transferred into the recipient's uterus or a gestational carrier. Most donors are first-time donors who have never donated before, but some are proven donors who have previously donated eggs which have resulted in successful pregnancies.

First-time vs. repeat egg donors

A first-time donor has no history of successful pregnancies, however this does not mean that she is not a wonderful donor. Even though it may provide some pause that the donor has not donated before, the number of eggs likely to be retrieved in a donation cycle can be predicted based on markers like anti-Mullerian hormone (AMH) levels and antral follicle count (AFC). These metrics provide solid indicators of ovarian reserve and, consequently, the potential success of an egg retrieval procedure.

On the other hand, proven donors have a track record of successful pregnancies through their donated eggs, which can offer some reassurance to intended parents going through egg donation. It’s another data point to give you confidence. However, a proven donor's history of successful pregnancies doesn't guarantee future success. Plus, a donor who has donated more than once means that your future child is more likely to have biological half-siblings. 

What matters most: family fit

As shared above, reliable estimates for the quantity of eggs that are likely to be retrieved during a donation cycle can be made based on biomarkers such as AMH and AMC. These critical measures serve as robust predictors of ovarian reserve and, therefore, help project the likely outcome of the egg retrieval process. A donor who has been medically cleared by a fertility doctor – whether she has donated before or not – has a good chance of a successful retrieval. In fact, donor egg IVF has better outcomes than other forms of ART.

Once an egg donor has been medically cleared, we think the "fit" of the donor with your family is arguably more critical. This fit might involve physical attributes, ethnicity, education, or other aspects that matter to you in relation to your future child. Donor profiles and interviews can provide valuable insights into these aspects, guiding your choice towards a donor who aligns with your vision for your family.

A downside of a “proven” donor: the biological half-sibling factor

A less commonly discussed aspect of using a proven donor is that your child may have biological half-siblings resulting from previous successful donations. While this fact doesn't influence the potential success of your IVF process, it's an important ethical and emotional consideration for many potential parents. For some, this potential genetic connection to other families might be concerning or undesirable. 

However, simply because a first time donor has not donated eggs before, it does not mean she will not potentially donate to other families in the future. This would also lead to biological half-siblings for your children. This is not something to be nervous or hesitant about though as it can be a beautiful thing. It has been seen that children born from the same donor sometimes seek each other out, and find family in the USA or around the world, and have stories to share between each other of being a donor conceived child. A very unique bond can be established between donor conceived children.

It's important to note that the possibility of having numerous genetic half-siblings doesn't inherently detract from the unique bond and relationship you will develop with your child. Yet, it's a factor to be aware of and something to consider based on your personal values and vision for your future family.

How many times can an egg donor donate?

There is a limit to how many times a woman can donate eggs, primarily based on ethical and safety guidelines. In the United States, for example, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that donors should not donate eggs more than six times during their lifetime. This guideline aims to minimize potential health risks for the donor and limit the number of offspring born from any one donor's eggs (although to be clear, even if a donor donates six times through an egg bank, those eggs could be distributed to far more than six families). At Cofertility, we follow these guidelines and actually find that most of our donors don’t plan on donating to more than one or two families because they are not doing it for cash compensation. 

Summing it up

Remember that while the choice of an egg donor is significant, it is just one aspect of the broader journey to parenthood. Other aspects, like ensuring the health of the mother or gestational carrier, preparing for the emotional and financial commitment of parenthood, and creating a nurturing environment for your child, are critical contributors to your child’s life.

While the decision between a first-time and proven egg donor can seem overwhelming, remember that this is just one factor among many in your fertility journey. Reliable fertility markers, such as AMH and AFC, offer significant predictors of egg retrieval success. Furthermore, the alignment of a donor with your vision of your future family is of paramount importance.

Each family's journey is unique, and there is no 'one size fits all' answer. Being patient with the process, staying informed, and leaning on the support of medical and mental health professionals can guide you towards the decisions that feel right for you and your family.

How Cofertility is different 

We started this company with the vision of serving all families, regardless of what brought them here. We promise to provide you with the care we would want for our families. With our commitment to transparency, inclusivity, and innovation, we are striving to be the best in the industry.

Our unique egg sharing model empowers donors and enables families to find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily, setting a new standard for excellence in our field. Whether you are just becoming educated on egg donation or are ready to move forward, we want to help you achieve your goals and build the family of your dreams.

Create a free account to get started today!

At Cofertility, we pride ourselves on guiding our members through the journey of egg donation, ensuring a supportive, transparent, and ethical process for all parties involved. One aspect of this process involves helping our members understand the various terms used within the realm of egg donation, and pros and cons of each type of disclosure status. 

Each relationship is unique and depends on both the desires of the donor and family, as well as what’s best for any future donor conceived children. 

This guide is meant to aid you in making informed decisions that align with your personal beliefs, comfort level, and the best interest of any potential donor conceived children.

Let’s dive into the terms:

• Anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe someone whose identity is not shared with the family. In today’s age of social media and genetic testing, we think “anonymous” is a misnomer. 
• Non-anonymous egg donor: an outdated term used to describe when an egg donor and intended parents have each other’s contact information.
• Known egg donor: usually used to describe an egg donor who knows the intended parents, like a family member or friend.
• Unknown egg donor: an egg donor that does not know the intended parents, and vice versa.
• Disclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor exchange contact information and communicate directly. This does not mean they have an ongoing relationship, just that they have the names of one another. 
• Undisclosed donation: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information.
• Open ID: the intended parents and egg donor do not exchange contact information, but the egg donor agrees to have her identity disclosed to the child born from her donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically at 18 years.
• Identity-release: another term for open ID.

The problem with “anonymous” egg donation

Traditionally, egg donations were often declared "anonymous," meaning the identities of the egg donor and the intended parents were kept secret from each other. However, in today's world, where genetic testing is widely accessible, we believe no donation can be truly anonymous. We caution against believing anyone who tells you otherwise!

Read more about why we don’t believe in anonymous egg donation.

Known and unknown egg donation

A known donor is someone that you have some level of connection with - be it a friend,  a family member, or an acquaintance. In the early days of donor egg IVF, working with a known donor wasn’t the norm because it was thought that having a relationship with the donor could create confusion between the parties. But now, with more education and research being done on this type of donation, more people are turning to family and friends to help with building a family. 

Yet most egg donation cycles are with "unknown" egg donors, where there is no previous relationship. You can have an “unknown” egg donor that you get to know, or they can remain undisclosed. 

Disclosed and undisclosed egg donation

Disclosed and undisclosed are the terms we prefer to use at Cofertility to describe the two types of disclosure agreements possible.

In a disclosed donation with Cofertility, you and the donor will exchange contact information and can communicate directly. We highly encourage this model as it promotes transparency and aligns with feedback from the donor-conceived community.

In an undisclosed donation, you do not exchange contact information and only communicate via Cofertility. Although we recommend disclosed donations, we respect the individual's choice for undisclosed donation after understanding the potential implications for the donor-conceived child.

Regardless of your donation disclosure status being disclosed or undisclosed, you may choose to meet the donor during the matching period without exchanging contact information. 

The scope and degree of communication in a disclosed donation (both during and post-match) is what both parties make of it and can be outlined in your legal agreement. Communication can range from sharing an annual holiday card to direct, regular communication between the donor and your donor-conceived child. 

Your disclosure status does not necessarily dictate the relationship with the donor. For instance, you may opt for a disclosed donation, where you share contact information, but decide against maintaining regular communication.

Open ID egg donation

For those who choose an undisclosed donation, open ID (sometimes called identity release) is an alternative. This model allows for the donor's identity to be disclosed to the child resulting from the donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically 18 years.

This arrangement respects the potential desire of the donor conceived child to know more about their genetic background and potentially connect with the donor. The open ID agreement is often structured based on the comfort and consent of all parties involved and takes into consideration the best interest of the donor conceived person.

Read more about Open ID

Exploring real-life scenarios: understanding the fluidity of relationships in egg donation

Every single relationship is different, and ultimately up to the intended parents and egg donor to decide. To illustrate how the various terms and models of egg donation work in practical scenarios, let’s explore three real-life examples:

Scenario 1: Unknown, undisclosed donor with Open ID agreement

In this scenario, a family chooses to work with an unknown, undisclosed donor they find through Cofertility. This means that the family and the donor do not exchange contact information, and all communication is handled through Cofertility. This ensures a certain level of privacy and confidentiality while still allowing the exchange of crucial information.

However, the family decides to opt for an Open ID agreement. This arrangement acknowledges the potential curiosity of the donor-conceived child about their genetic roots. Once the child reaches age 18, they will be granted the opportunity to learn about the donor’s identity and, if mutually agreed upon, potentially establish a connection.

Scenario 2: Known, disclosed donor 

In the second scenario, a family chooses to work with a known, disclosed donor who happens to be a relative – in this case, a sister. This situation represents one of the highest levels of openness in egg donation, with full knowledge and likely frequent contact between the donor and the intended parents.

In such a model, there's often an ongoing relationship between the donor and the child. The child grows up knowing about their genetic heritage, understanding that their aunt was the generous person who made their existence possible. 

Scenario 3: Unknown, disclosed donor 

In our third example, a family works with an unknown, disclosed donor. Here, while the donor's identity is initially unknown, the family and the donor exchange contact information via Cofertility and choose to maintain a certain level of contact.

In this case, the family sends the donor a card every year, marking the child's birthday or a holiday, for instance. The donor is not a major part of the family’s day-to-day life, but there's a small bridge of connection that keeps her updated and maintains a cordial relationship. This scenario underlines the flexibility within the disclosed donation model, wherein the extent and nature of communication can be customized to each party's comfort level.

These examples illustrate that egg donation relationships can vary immensely and can be tailored to meet the unique needs, comfort levels, and preferences of all parties involved. At Cofertility, we are committed to facilitating such arrangements that respect and honor the donors, the intended parents, and the donor-conceived children

The power of choice: respecting cultural preferences & unique circumstances

While we advocate for disclosed or open ID donations, and the benefits of being open with children about their donor-conceived origins, we respect the cultural needs and unique circumstances of those who prefer undisclosed donations. At Cofertility, we strive to connect intended parents with research and experts, aiding in informed decision-making, and respecting cultural considerations.

Understanding these terms and the principles behind them can make your journey through egg donation smoother and more transparent. At Cofertility, we are here to guide you, ensuring a process that honors all parties involved, including the donor, the intended parents, and most importantly, the donor conceived children.

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing. 

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!