Donor conceived people

Donor egg in vitro fertilization (IVF) is a fertility treatment in which an intended parent uses eggs from an egg donor to have a baby. In this process, the donated eggs are fertilized with sperm from an intended parent or sperm donor in a laboratory to create embryos. Those embryos are monitored by an embryologist while they grow into blastocysts. They are then frozen, genetically tested, and transferred to the uterus of the intended mother (or a gestational carrier) in the hope that it will implant and result in a pregnancy. 

We know that using donor eggs can greatly increase the chances of success for an infertile couple. But how common is egg donation? Let’s dive in.

First, who uses donor eggs?

There are many reasons an intended parent would turn to donor eggs to have a baby:

• Infertility due to low ovarian reserve 
• Repeated IVF failures with own eggs
• Infertility due to recurrent miscarriage
• LGBTQ+
• Genetic mutations
• People without ovaries
• Single males
• Women whose own eggs have been damaged by chemotherapy or radiation treatment

Regardless of the reason, donor eggs are a viable, and increasingly common, path to parenthood. 

How common is donor egg IVF in the US?

The use of donor eggs has been increasing in recent years. While it's hard to know the exact number of egg donation cycles each year, we can get a good estimate through the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technologies (SART), which tracks data for nearly 400 US clinics annually. 

In 2019 there were nearly 20,000 IVF transfers using donor eggs at SART-reporting clinics. That is up 14% from the previous five years. Of those transfers:

• 1,776 used fresh donor eggs
• 2,468 used frozen donor eggs
• 15,294 transferred thawed embryos

How common is donor egg IVF in the UK?

More than 70,000 donor conceived children have been born in the UK since 1991. The total number of babies born via egg donation in 2019 was 1,327, up 88% from 2009. Of those, 83% used a donor egg and the partner’s sperm. The remaining 17% used both donor egg and donor sperm.

How common is donor egg IVF in Australia and New Zealand?

In Australia and New Zealand, there were 3,316 IVF cycles performed using donor eggs (or embryos) in 2017 with 727 live births reported. Of those cycles, 86% used donor eggs and the partners sperm while the remaining used a donor embryo.

How common is donor egg IVF in Europe?

According to data from the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE), the number of donor egg cycles in Europe has been steadily increasing in recent years. In 2017, the most recent year for which data is available, there were a total of 28,377 donor egg cycles reported in Europe, representing about 5% of all IVF cycles performed in the region. It is worth noting that these figures do not include data from all European countries, as not all countries report their IVF data to ESHRE.

How common is donor egg IVF in Asia?

In China, egg donation is uncommon. That is because donor eggs can only be used if they are unused leftover eggs from women who underwent IVF. Data collected by The Chinese Society of Reproductive Medicine (CSRM) of 327 fertility clinics from 2013 to 2016 found 1,642 donor egg cycles in that time, a small fraction of the 12 million cycles.

The use of donor eggs globally

Unfortunately there’s no way to know exactly how many donor egg cycles there are globally. 

But according to data from the International Committee for Monitoring Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ICMART), which collects data from 2,971 clinics in 79 countries, there were 161,139 egg donation transfers in 2018.

The use of donor eggs is more common in countries and regions with better access to IVF, and where legal, cultural, or religious beliefs make the use of donor eggs more acceptable. Plus, the use of donor eggs in IVF may be underreported in some countries, as not all countries require procedures to be reported to regulatory agencies.

Donor eggs can increase your chances of success

Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.

At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs. 

At Cofertility, for those who match with a donor in our fresh egg donation program, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. The number of eggs retrieved varies by patient and cycle, but can be predicted by a donor’s age, AMH, and antral follicle count, all of which will be known to you after the donor’s initial screening. Qualified candidates have an ample ovarian reserve for both their own needs and sharing. Egg share donors also often work closely with a fertility doctor to determine, based on their own medical history, the optimal number of eggs needed for their own future family-building goals. Should it make sense for the donor, they may choose to pursue a second egg-sharing cycle to maximize the chances of success for everyone.

Matching with a donor in our frozen program can provide the opportunity to move forward with your family-building plans faster, as frozen eggs can be fertilized or shipped to your clinic immediately or as soon as the cycle is complete. Donors undergoing frozen cycles complete equally rigorous ovarian reserve testing. While the total number of frozen eggs available will vary based on the donor’s retrieval outcomes, every frozen match is guaranteed to have a minimum of at least 6 frozen eggs.

To learn more about these programs and the differences between them, click here.

Donor eggs: where do I start?

If you are looking to use donor eggs to build your family, we’d love to help. Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!

After years of not being able to build your family through conventional methods, you may have found yourself here because you're considering conceiving using gamete donation. Understandably, you likely have many questions about it, particularly the psychological aspects of the mother-child relationship, questions about how it might feel to use donor eggs, or if the child will even feel like yours. All of these are valid questions and are probably just a few out of a million questions running through your mind. But when using assisted reproductive technology and donor gametes to create your family, there is no such thing as too many questions! The more questions you ask and the more knowledge you gather, the less scary it will feel and the more confident you will be about your decision to use egg donation. So let’s dive in.

More women are turning to egg donation 

Aside from health/medical issues, women are turning to egg donation because they have medically “aged out.” Sadly, age is not just a number. The stark reality is that age is one of the most important aspects when it comes to getting pregnant with your own eggs. Women are delaying childbirth for many reasons, but no one talks to them about the consequences of doing so.

In 2019, there were almost 20,000 IVF transfers using donor eggs. And as topics such as egg donation and surrogacy become more mainstream in the media, more families are starting to share their experiences with third party reproduction and how they are raising their donor conceived children. More resources for families are also becoming available, but still, many continue to struggle to navigate, understand, and experience parenting a child conceived in this way.

The mother-child relationship in egg donation families

A common question for many is regarding the impact of using a donor egg on the relationship between mother and baby. Many are afraid they will not bond with the baby or that the baby will not feel like theirs. But, studies have shown that most mothers using donor eggs to have their baby felt secure and confident as the child’s mother by the end of that first year. Which makes sense since during that first year your entire existence revolves around the baby and not much else. And making it to that first birthday is a huge milestone, not just for the baby but for the parents as well.  In that same study, it was also found that even though over 80% of mothers did think about the non-genetic aspect during pregnancy, two thirds of them reported that egg donation had not influenced their relationship with their child. The bond that was built during that first year only cemented the mother-child relationship. 

Other questions include the idea of anonymity of the donor versus knowing the donor. What, when, and how to tell the donor conceived child about their beginnings, along with deciding on what, when or if to tell family and friends. 

Psychological aspects of using donor eggs

Many parents also want to know about the psychological aspects of using donor eggs. For some the idea of having to surrender one's own DNA and all that entails in order to bring a child into the world can be a difficult idea to process. Even though the United States has one of the highest rates of blended families – consisting of half or step children, step mothers and fathers – where love and family is not based on DNA, this idea of not being genetically related to your child, can still be a difficult one to grasp. But once the longing to be a parent speaks louder than the urge to procreate, that feeling slowly begins to take a back seat. 

But once the longing to be a parent speaks louder than the urge to procreate, that feeling slowly begins to take a back seat.

The emotional journey of finding an egg donor

Another emotionally charged piece can be the process itself. The process of choosing an egg donor can feel impersonal and uncomfortable. The screening process for the egg donor to ensure she is medically and psychologically fit can be time consuming. And waiting for the results of the retrieval can be anxiety provoking. And because using an egg donor comes with extra costs, some families feel that egg donation is out of reach. And for many, the cost to build the family of their dreams may lead to mounting debt that seems daunting.  

The upside

Despite the challenges, people are still choosing to use egg donation to build their families due to the high success rate and probability that they will become parents. Typically, for a woman over 39, using her own eggs has a success rate of about less than 10% per IVF cycle. Whereas an IVF cycle using donor eggs averages almost 50%. And because egg quality and age are the main reasons for miscarriage, those using donor eggs have lower rates of miscarriage. Also, if you are having the embryo transferred to yourself, egg donation can also give you the experience of pregnancy and childbirth and starting the connection with the baby from day one.

The decision to use an egg donor to conceive your child is not easy. Fortunately, parents using third party reproduction are not alone. Cofertility recognizes and understands the sensitive nature of conceiving using donor eggs. We also understand the longing to be a parent.  Our team works really hard to make the egg donor experience a warmer, more human centric process, by offering community and support throughout this journey. Create a free account today to get started.

If you are planning to donate your eggs or are planning to be a recipient of an egg donation, do not be surprised if you are told by your clinic or agency that you need psychological screening before proceeding. For most people, ‘psychological screening’ sounds like a test that needs to be passed in order to donate or to become parents. This can create tension, annoyance, and even anger. Some look at this step as another obstacle to meeting their end goal or just another box that needs to be checked before moving forward. But in essence, good quality programs require this meeting to ensure you understand the consequences, and are mentally prepared for all that comes along with donating or receiving donor eggs. 

As a psychologist who regularly performs these psychological screenings, my goal is to make sure you have explored all the ethical, social, and emotional ramifications that come with egg donation. This meeting allows you to think about both the short and long-term impacts of egg donation. It gives you things to ponder that you may not have thought about, and allows you the opportunity to ask questions that you were afraid to ask in an open and safe space. In this article, I will give you a glimpse into what this screening process can be like for both egg donors and recipients.

Egg donor psychological screening

For egg donors this screening is extremely important because we want to make sure she is fully prepared, ready, and understands what it means to serve as an egg donor. She needs to understand the physical, psychological, and legal risks of donating. We also want to look at why she is donating and identify any potential emotional problems that may be contraindicated to donating. These areas are assessed based on the guidelines set forth by The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). If a donor has a spouse or long-term partner, they may also be included in the evaluation to confirm the presence of support and understanding of the process and how the results of donating could potentially impact them as well. 

Typically, this evaluation includes a clinical interview and a standardized test. The whole process can take anywhere from two to three hours to complete. Types of questions asked include: family, education, and work history, motivation to donate, current life stressors and coping skills, traumatic reproductive history, interpersonal relationships and sexual history, along with any personal and family history of mental health issues. During the evaluation the donor’s understanding of the potential emotional and social risks is also discussed and a large portion of the meeting will focus on the implications for the donor, their current or future children or partners, and how the donation may even affect their extended families. 

Donors should be prepared to share health information about not only themselves but also health information about their family. This includes their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. This is because we need to know if there are any possible heritable traits that could be passed on in the genes. This gives the potential parents receiving the eggs with information to make an informed decision about whether or not to work with the donor. 

Intended parent psychological screening

For those receiving oocytes, a psychoeducational consultation with a qualified licensed mental health professional who has training and education in third-party reproduction is strongly recommended. During the consultation, the implications of creating a family using gamete donation is discussed. Important topics such as disclosure are covered:

• How and when do you tell your child they were conceived via egg donation? 
• What are the long-term impacts of the donation on the family? 
• How do you get past the grief of not having your own biological child? 
• What happens if the transfer does not result in a pregnancy? 
• What is the impact of treatment failure, and do you possibly need to develop alternative plans for the future? 
• What if the embryo transfer does result in a pregnancy, what does this new transition to parenthood look like? 
• What are the challenges of donor anonymity and its implications in the future?
• Embryo management is covered, meaning what will happen to embryos that will not be used? Are they discarded? 

This meeting typically takes about one to two hours and both parents are expected to participate in the meeting.

Some programs do not require meeting with a psychologist and make it an optional meeting. I would strongly advise to meet with the psychologist even if it is not required by your clinic or agency. As you can see from above, the meeting will give you invaluable information that will guide the decisions you make and will impact how you move forward as a family that is conceived via egg donation. This meeting will inform how you think, feel and talk about having this child. Take full advantage of this meeting, take notes and ask all the questions.

The psychological screening for both the egg donor and the recipient helps them make informed decisions about egg donation and provides both parties the opportunity to explore how it may impact all involved, both in the present and in the future. Be open, ask questions. Because what you are embarking on is not easy.

Read more:

• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• 10 Facts You Need To Know About Using Donor Eggs
• What to Look For in an Egg Donation Agency

If you are considering conceiving using donor eggs, you may have questions about it, particularly about anonymous egg donation and what the research says about families conceived using anonymous donations. In this article, I break down some of the emerging research behind anonymous egg donations and their long term outcomes including impacts on the parent-child relationship.

To start, should you use an anonymous egg donor? 

This is a question that you need to strongly consider before choosing a donor. Although some agencies/centers tout anonymity, it is important to understand that true anonymity cannot be guaranteed. Because of relatively inexpensive and readily available at-home DNA testing, a child can easily discover their true origins. And now with changing laws, anonymity may not even be an option. 

However, some parents are still wanting to work with donors who will be anonymous. But why is that the case? In a 2011 study, parents who intentionally chose anonymous donation over known donation said they believed that anonymity would allow them to establish clear boundaries between the donor, child, and parent. And because they wanted to minimize any potential links between the donor and child in order to protect the mother–child relationship. In contrast, parents intentionally did not choose known donation as it was viewed as complicating the donor–child relationship and undermining the recipient's (intended mother) ability to feel secure in her role as mother.  But interestingly, the study also found that mothers could both express ambivalence and uncertainties about the non-genetic relationship with their child, but still feel confident and secure in their identity as the child’s mother. So in the end, the anonymity did not make a difference in how she felt about her identity or role as mother. 

So if anonymity doesn’t really impact a mother’s identity or role as a mother, why would someone want to choose a known or identified donor? One major reason for choosing a known donor is that one can have more information about the donor specifically as it pertains to their medical history. Furthermore you can also be kept abreast of any changes to the donor’s medical history in the future. This is so important if your child gets diagnosed with a medical issue or needs some sort of medical treatment. Being able to contact your donor could potentially save your child's life. 

Read more in Undisclosed vs. Anonymous Egg Donation: What’s the Difference?

What do donor-conceived people think?

We have also seen that donor conceived children are curious about their origins. So another advantage of using a known donor is that your child can potentially have knowledge or communication with their donor.  Research has shown that adolescents who were interested in their donor mostly wanted to know more about why they had donated, and some had questions about the donor’s family, or other children (half siblings) conceived using the same donor. In essence, what they wanted was to just better understand themselves. In a study with donor-conceived people, 86.5% believed that they had a right to non-identifying information about their donors; several also believed that they had a right to identifying information. In the end, they all wanted to know something about their donor and not necessarily to establish a relationship with the donor.  

In another study, donor-conceived people who were conceived as a result of anonymous donation and who had grown up knowing about the nature of their conception still perceived donor conception as an acceptable model of family-building, but only when an identifiable donor was used and where parents disclosed their use of donor conception from an early age. And approximatley 25% of the participants endorsed anonymous donation, subject to the availability of some non-identifying donor information. A 2018 study obtained first-hand data from a sample of donor-conceived and surrogacy-conceived children followed from infancy to adolescence, suggest that the concern that children born through third party reproductions (i.e. surrogacy or egg or sperm donation) would be distressed about their origins in adolescence was unfounded, and that children who were informed when young of their conception were accepting of this in adolescence.  The majority of the participants were actually indifferent about their conception, and were either interested in, or enjoyed positive relations with, their surrogate or donor. Not one of the adolescents indicated that they were distressed about their conception. 

A 2021 study recommends if future intended parents are considering gamete donation, for the future well-being of all involved, anonymous donation ought to be discouraged. If individuals want to proceed with anonymous donation, at a minimum they should inform their child about the nature of their conception to minimize any potential harm to their child. Also, whatever clinic or agency you are working with, it will be important that they explain how they plan on maintaining anonymity, and how they plan on keeping the donor’s information, and how the donor can be reached if a medical emergency were to come up. 

When making your decision, only one key fact should weigh heavily on your decision and that is what will be best for your future child's mental, physical and genetic health.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.

More and more families are turning to donor IVF to have children. If you are considering using donor eggs as part of your fertility treatment, you are likely weighing the potential pros and cons of this option. Let’s go over egg donor IVF and some of the main pros and cons of using donor eggs.

What is egg donor IVF?

Egg donation is a process in which a woman (called a donor) provides her eggs to be used by another family. The eggs are retrieved from the donor's ovaries and fertilized with sperm in a laboratory setting. The resulting embryos are then transferred to the uterus of the woman who will carry the pregnancy (called the recipient) or a gestational carrier. Egg donation can be an option for women who are unable to produce their own eggs or who have eggs of poor quality. It can also be an option for same-sex male couples or single men who want to have a child using a surrogate.

The egg donation process typically involves several steps. First, the donor undergoes medical and psychological screening to determine if she is a suitable candidate for donation. This includes a physical exam, blood tests, and a review of medical and family history. The donor is also required to undergo psychological counseling to ensure that she is emotionally prepared for the process.

Next, the donor is given fertility medications to stimulate her ovaries to produce multiple mature eggs. The eggs are then retrieved through a surgical procedure called oocyte retrieval, which is performed under sedation or general anesthesia. The eggs are then fertilized with sperm in a laboratory setting, and the resulting embryos are transferred to the recipient's uterus. If the transfer is successful, the recipient will carry the pregnancy to term and give birth to the child.

Egg donation is a complex and often emotional process, and it is important for both the donor and the recipient to carefully consider the legal, financial, and emotional implications of the decision. It is also important for both parties to work with a reputable fertility clinic and egg donation agency (like Cofertility) to ensure that all necessary medical, legal, and ethical guidelines are followed.

Now, let’s review some of the pros and cons to using donor eggs.

Pros:

• First and foremost is the chance to have a baby! Donor egg IVF has a high success rate. Many women who use donor eggs achieve pregnancy and give birth to healthy babies.
• Using donor eggs can allow women who are older (over 40) or who have experienced age-related fertility decline to have a child. Donor eggs may also be an option for women who have certain health conditions that affect their fertility, such as premature menopause or damaged ovaries.
• Donor egg IVF allows women who can’t use their own eggs the meaningful opportunity to carry a pregnancy. With donor eggs, most women can still carry a healthy pregnancy and breastfeed. 
• Donor eggs can be used by LGBTQ+ couples who wish to have a child that is genetically related to one of them.
• Children born through egg donation live happy, normal lives. We now have evidence that both donor-conceived children (from early childhood to adolescence) and their parents are psychologically well adjusted and do not differ from families with spontaneously or own-gamete conceived children. (That being said, there are some parenting best-practices you should know!)

Cons:

• Donor egg IVF can be expensive, with costs in the tens of thousands of dollars. Some insurance plans may cover some or all of the costs, but it is important to check with your insurance provider or employer to understand your coverage.
• Using donor eggs involves a number of legal considerations, including contracts between you with the donor. One thing the contract outlines is the expected relationship and when/if/how your donor-conceived child can know more about the donor. It is important to understand these issues before proceeding with donor egg IVF. If you work with Cofertility, we will ensure you and the egg donor have excellent legal representation and a sound contract.
• Using donor eggs can involve complex emotional considerations, such as feelings of loss or grief for some people. It is important to discuss these emotions with a mental health professional before proceeding with donor egg IVF.

Finding an egg donor

There are a number of ways to find a donor, including using a donor egg agency or searching online databases. It is important to carefully research and consider your options before making a decision. At Cofertility, you can create a free account to begin your journey. Our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

From end to end, we take a more human approach to egg donation. Our pre-qualified donors are ambitious, kind, and excited to help your family. We’re ready to make your parenting dreams a reality.  

Egg donation is a relatively new concept, and the legal structure surrounding egg donation varies widely across the US and globally. Unlike most of Europe, US policy does not require infertility clinics to be licensed by law, and no uniform standards exist about proper methods for egg donor recruitment, care, and disclosure. There is no US federal law regarding anonymity vs. disclosure in gamete donation, which has resulted in each state having its own regulation, if anything at all.

So what does the law say about anonymous donation?

For a long time, anonymity was the status quo, and people conceived through anonymous egg or sperm donation did not have a way to find out more about their genetic origins. But the use of at-home DNA and social media, along with advocacy from donor conceived people, has radically changed this. 

In this guide, we summarize some of the legislations that are driving egg donor anonymity into the past. 

Colorado

Colorado has the most progressive laws towards donor-conceived persons rights. In June 2022, Colorado Gov. Jared Polis (D) signed legislation banning anonymous sperm and egg donations, making the state the first in the country to prohibit the practice. 

This law requires sperm and egg banks to maintain up-to-date medical records and contact information for all donors. The law raises the minimum donation age to 21, prohibits donations from donors who refuse to agree to identity disclosures, and limits the number of families that can use eggs from any given donor.

Once the law takes effect in 2025, donor-conceived adults will have the legal right to request information about their donor's identity and medical history. Future donors must agree that their information will be released to offspring that request them after the age of 18. This effectively eliminates any anonymity in the donation process.

Washington 

A number of states, including California, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Washington have enacted the 2020 Uniform Parentage Act. Section 702 of the Act protects families by ensuring that the donor is not the legal parent of the child. This act, while extremely progressive, does not go as far as mandating that future donors MUST agree to information being released. 

In 2011, Washington State was the first to challenge sperm and egg donor anonymity with a law that requires sperm banks and egg donation agencies with gametes from Washington State to provide the donor’s medical histories and, importantly, full names to donor-conceived persons upon turning 18 years of age. This has one major caveat - the agencies and banks are only required to provide the information if the gamete donor did not affirmatively opt out of being identified.

California, Connecticut, and Rhode Island

In 2020, California and Rhode Island followed Washington’s path, with a similar law that requires egg and sperm banks and donor programs to collect and retain a donor’s full name, date of birth, and address.

However, the law has one more provision friendly to the donor-conceived community - even if the donor did opt out of having his or her identity revealed, upon the request of a donor-conceived person, the gamete bank has an affirmative duty to notify the donor as to the request, and allow that donor another chance with withdraw the declaration. The new law goes on to provide that regardless of whether the donor signed a waiver, the donor-conceived person or, prior to the age of 18, his or her parents, shall have a right to the donor’s non-identifying medical information. 

Connecticut enacted the same laws in 2022, expanding rights for donor-conceived persons. 

New York 

A pending measure in New York would require gamete donor banks “to collect and verify medical, educational and criminal felony conviction history information” from any donor. This would also provide prospective parents who purchase eggs or sperm and donor-conceived people with the right to obtain such information without personally identifying the donor. 

Other US states

There are currently no other states with legislation passed or pending on the regulation of gamete donations.

Canada

In Canada, egg and sperm donors cannot be paid; their donation must be altruistic. Both anonymous donation and known donation are permitted.

Mexico

In Mexico, organ and cell donation, including egg donation, is required to be done anonymously. 

In Mexico, though there is no specific law governing assisted reproductive technologies, donations are governed by some agreements implemented by national organizations such as the Mexican Association of Reproductive Medicine. The practice of ART is also considered, although not explicitly, in the General Health Law. Organ, cell and egg donation is required to be done anonymously.

Europe

In Europe, it has been suggested that anonymous gamete donation may breach the rights of donor-conceived persons under Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHRs). However, this has never been definitively addressed by the European Court of Human Rights (ECtHRs). This has led to considerable divergence in regulatory approaches to anonymous donation across Europe. 

Donor eggs for IVF are not allowed by law in Germany, Italy, Norway, Switzerland, Tunisia, or Turkey.

Sweden

Sweden was the first country to prohibit anonymous donation, which it did in 1984. Identifiable donors are required. And while the donor remains anonymous to the family, the donor offspring have the right to receive information about the donor at the age of 18.

One Swedish study of 210 donors asked their thoughts five to eight years after their donation. The results show that a majority of egg and sperm donors had a positive attitude to the idea of being contacted by their offspring, while very few reported that they would prefer not to be contacted.

United Kingdom

In the UK, the transition from anonymity protection to anonymity prohibition was partially driven by activism on the part of donor-conceived people, prompting a change in UK law in 2005, as a result of which anonymous donation was no longer permitted. Children born from egg donation receive the donor’s information upon turning 18, and it’s up to the donor whether to reply or not.

Additionally, it's illegal to pay for egg donation in the UK. Egg donors can receive compensation of up to £750 per donation 'cycle' to cover their costs.

Ireland

Ireland did not regulate anonymous donation at all until 2015, but The Children and Family Relationships Act 2015 prohibits anonymous donation entirely, and goes so far as to require the State to inform the donor-conceived person that they are donor-conceived, if they seek a birth certificate when over the age of 18. Ireland also proposes to extend this right to the right to know one’s gestational surrogate. 

Spain 

Spain guarantees donor anonymity, regulated by a 2006 law. Breaking the confidentiality conditions of the egg donor’s personal details are considered a serious offense, which can lead to significant monetary fines. Donor conceived people have the right to obtain general information about donors, but not their identities.

Portugal

In 2018, Portugal banned anonymous egg donation, and donor-conceived people can now request personal information from the donor. CNMPA (National Council for Medically Assisted Procreation) has required clinics to suspend any IVF treatments with anonymous donors and begin registering everything in the national ART authority database. Egg donors can donate four times per lifetime and donor compensation in Portugal is fixed by law at 878€.

France 

Donor anonymity had been established in France since the passage of its first law on assisted reproduction in 1994. In 2022, a new french bioethics law, established that children born as a result of medical procreation will have the right, if they wish, to know the identities of the donors who made their lives possible.The information about donors – including details of their family and professional situation – will be recorded at the time of the donation, along with a description of their "general state" and physical characteristics. Once the child reaches adulthood, he or she will have access to the information.

Greece

Egg donation in Greece is generally anonymous, and the clinics facilitate matching donors and families. Strict regulations prevent clinics from sharing any personal information about donors to patients.

Hungary

In Hungary, an egg donor must be a relative of the infertile couple, meaning that they are not anonymous. 

China

In China, the use of donor gametes is restricted to donor sperm, though donor eggs can be used if they are unused leftover eggs from women who underwent IVF. However, no compensation can be provided. While there’s no legislation around anonymity, most of the cases are anonymous.

Singapore

The commercial market of donor eggs is prohibited by healthcare regulations in Singapore, with strict laws restricting monetary payment of egg donors. 

However, the recent Assisted Reproduction Services Regulations permits medical and non-medical elective egg and sperm freezing from 2023. A policy decision, still under consideration by the Singapore government, which could have implications for donor-conceived offspring, is the possible establishment of an adoption register to facilitate contact between adopted children and their birth parents in the future.

Japan

The Diet passed a law in 2020 that recognizes married heterosexual couples who have children through donor eggs as legal parents (however, this right doesn’t apply to Japan’s LGBTQ+ families). And it does not give children the right to seek disclosure of the identities of the egg donors, an omission that has been met with criticism from groups representing them. 

South Korea

The buying and selling of donor eggs is banned in South Korea. Further, IVF treatments are not an option for unmarried women in Korea, and sperm banks set their own criteria for accepting patients and will not provide services to unmarried women. While single South Korean women are able to freeze their eggs, they can't legally proceed with a sperm donation and the transfer of an embryo unless married. 

Lebanon

Egg donation in Lebanon has become a popular option in recent years, and egg donors can be known (friends or relatives) or anonymous. 

Turkey

Even though Turkey has more IVF clinics than any other nation in the Middle East, all forms of third-party reproduction are illegal, including egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, and surrogacy. In 2010, Turkey banned its citizens from going abroad to seek donor eggs, making it the first country in the world to regulate 'cross-border reproductive care'.

Israel

In 2010, The Israeli Knesset approved a bill regulating egg and sperm donations, fixing payment for donors. Compensation for egg donors would be higher than that for sperm donors, as ova harvesting requires patients to undergo hormone treatment. The law designates that the egg donation must be anonymous. A genetic database will allow individuals over the age of 18 to check whether they were conceived through third-party reproduction, without exposing the identity of the egg donor.

India 

The Assisted Reproductive Technology (Regulation) Bill passed in 2020 in India. Egg donors must be married with a child who is at least three years old. A donor can donate eggs only once in her life and not more than seven eggs can be retrieved. Also in India, no donation from the friends or relatives of either partner is allowed. Non identifying information about the donor is customarily provided to the donor-conceived offspring.

This bill requires clinics to maintain records of all donations for at least 10 years, after which the records must be transferred to the National Registry. However, the law seems ambiguous - and  Bill does not specify the purpose of collecting personal information and sharing it with the Registry.

Brazil

There is no legislation in Brazil regulating the assisted reproduction market, and the law has not kept up with the technological improvements and growing market. However, the Childrens Act (ECA) gives all children the right to know their genetic identity. The law includes adopted children and by extension, those conceived using genetic material donated by people who are not their legal parents. Although the Brazil Federal Council of Medicine states that sperm and egg donation must be anonymous, this does not prevent a child from filing a lawsuit demanding knowledge of their origin, as is their right according to the Brazilian Civil Code. 

Argentina

While egg and sperm donation is legal in Argentina, it is generally done anonymously. Physicians match families with donor eggs, and there is no database where parents could see the pictures or get information about the donors. 

Australia 

The state of Victoria, Australia introduced legislation to ban anonymous sperm and egg donation in 1998. In 2005, a national medical guideline stipulated the abolishment of anonymous donation in all states. In 2018, Victoria went even further to lift anonymity retroactively for donations made before 1998. 

New Zealand

In New Zealand, The Human Assisted Reproductive Technology Act 2004 legislated that all donations made on or after 22 August 2005 must be non-anonymous.

Disclosure is the future

The rising tide of disclosure is also playing out in legislative action around the globe, with the primary focus being on protecting donor-conceived persons’ interests to access crucial information that is relevant to their health and wellbeing. Practically, anonymity can no longer be guaranteed.

If you are single with fertility issues or in a relationship where both of you are experiencing fertility issues, you have an option of conceiving using both donor egg and donor sperm. Below I will answer commonly asked questions about the selection process, how treatment works, and on odds of success. 

Why would someone need both egg and sperm donation?

Why would someone need both donor egg and donor sperm? It may be that a woman has reached an age where conception using her own eggs is no longer an option. Or perhaps she has medical reasons that prohibit the use of her own eggs. A sperm donor may be needed because she may not have a male partner or if she does, perhaps the male partner is experiencing fertility problems where the sperm is not viable. 

For some single women, they may decide to use a sperm donor because they do not have a partner and are ready to start a family. So their journey to parenthood begins with coming to terms with the idea of raising a child alone. But once on that journey, she may discover a fertility problem (age or otherwise) and now also has to accept the idea of not having a genetic connection to her child as well. But when the longing to be a parent outweighs the desire to reproduce, that is where double donation comes in. 

Some other scenarios include lesbian couples where both women have fertility issues and cannot use their own eggs, single males who cannot use their own sperm, or a gay male couples where both have fertility issues and neither can use their own sperm.

In vitro fertilization (IVF) with double gamete donation consists of a fertility treatment in which the eggs of a donor are fertilized with the sperm of a donor. The donors can be identified (meaning the donor is known to the parents in some capacity) or non-identified (the donor is not known at all). Donors need to be over the age of 21, and pass both medical and psychological evaluations. Currently, there is no cap on how much a donor can be paid. 

Donor eggs

Let’s begin with the egg donation process. Once an egg donor has been selected and has completed and passed all the required medical and psychological testing, she will begin the medical protocol to retrieve her eggs. She will begin by injecting herself with hormones for approximately two weeks. These hormones stimulate the ovaries to produce more follicles than she would otherwise produce. Depending on the protocol, she will be regularly monitored by a clinic close to home so doctors can monitor the stimulation.  A final, trigger shot is taken on a specific day and time and within a certain amount of hours, the eggs are extracted under sedation.  The other option is to use frozen eggs from an egg bank. 

Donor sperm

Donor sperm can also be either fresh or frozen. However, regardless of how it is donated, it will remain frozen in quarantine for six months before it can be used. Some states and clinics will offer a waiver to release the sperm after three months. The reason for quarantine is that some diseases, such as HIV or Hepatitis B can take up to six months to show positive.

Once the donated eggs are matured and ready to be fertilized, the donor sperm is thawed and tested. Once approved and ready, the mature eggs are fertilized with the donor sperm. Embryos are given three to five days to grow and are then transferred to the intended mother or gestational carrier.  Remaining embryos can be frozen for possible future use, donated to another person or couple or disposed of. 

Double-donor embryo IVF

Because a double donor embryo is created using two donors, treatment can be costly. It can also be the treatment path that takes the longest since you are needing to find both an egg and sperm donor and you need to ensure everyone’s calendars are in sync. A planned trip, holiday lab closures, and medical and legal professionals scheduling calendars can create time lags in the process. So be prepared to spend months or even a year before treatment (embryo transfer) can actually occur. 

However, medically, double donation is safe and can have very high success rates. For example, the 2020 CDC IVF success rates looked at 449 clinics across the United States. A frozen embryo transfer cycle using donor eggs resulted in a 44.5% singleton live birth rate. Whereas a fresh embryo transfer cycle using frozen donor eggs had a 44.1% singleton live birth rate and a fresh transfer from fresh donor eggs resulted in a 49.5% singleton live birth rate.

Although double donation can be costly and time consuming, chances of a successful transfer and birth can exponentially increase when gametes used to create the embryo come from young,  healthy donors.  

According to the CDC, 12% of all IVF cycles in the U.S. involve eggs retrieved from a donor. Donor-egg IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment, and is becoming an increasingly common way for families to grow. In this guide on donor eggs, we’ll cover some important stats we think you should know.

More and more families are using donor eggs

It’s hard to know exactly how many egg donation cycles happen each year in the US, but we can get a good picture through SART, which tracks data for nearly 400 clinics annually. 

In 2019 there were nearly 20,000 IVF transfers using donor eggs at SART-reporting clinics. That is up 14% from the previous five years. Of those transfers:

• 1,776 used fresh donor eggs
• 2,468 used frozen donor eggs
• 15,294 transferred thawed embryos

Donor eggs can increase your chances of success

Around 53 percent of all donor egg cycles will result in at least one live birth. This percentage varies depending on the egg donor, recipient body mass index, stage of embryo at transfer, the number of oocytes retrieved, and the quality of the clinic.

At every age, the chances of birth with donor eggs is better, but those who benefit the most from donor eggs are women over 35 and those with low ovarian reserve. In fact, about one-quarter of women over 40 who succeeded with IVF did so through the use of donor eggs. 

The chart was made using the SART Patient Predictor for an average woman (5’4”, 150 lbs) with diminished ovarian reserve. As you can see, the chances of live birth after one donor egg cycle is 54% for recipients under 40, and only goes down slightly after this.

At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional match deposit or Cofertility coordination fee.

The success of egg donation depends more on the age of the donor than the birth mother

It’s important to remember that your age when you get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs with which you get pregnant. The success of egg donation depends on many factors, but is not considered to be related to the age of the recipient.

So how old should your egg donor be? We follow ASRM guidelines that say egg donors should be between the ages of 21 and 34 years at the time of donation. Donors under 25 do not have better outcomes. So if you find a donor you love who is 30, don’t hesitate. 

Younger donor eggs may not always be better

One study of infertility patients using donor eggs found the chances of live birth among cycles using egg donors < 25 years was 13% lower for those using donors age 25 to 29.

Another older but large study of 3,889 fresh donor egg cycles found that the cycles utilizing donors 30 to 34 years had a higher incidence of live birth than cycles with donors under 30 years, as well as donors over 34.

While many people gravitate towards younger donors under the assumption that she’ll retrieve more eggs, the good news is that the number of eggs retrieved - for donors at any age - is predictable. When you find a donor profile that resonates with you, your doctor will help determine if she’s a good candidate. All the donors at Cofertility are pre-qualified and most of them pass medical clearance upon match. Create a free account today to meet your match!

Similarly, women under age 25 going through IVF have been shown to have a lower success rate compared to women 25-30, and may have higher rates of miscarriage. No one understands why this may be the case for younger women, but it’s one of the reasons we recommend donors aged 25-34. 

The median number of eggs retrieved from donors is 18, with half retrieving 13-25

A Harvard study of 774 egg donor cycles found that across all ages, the median number of oocytes (eggs) retrieved was 18. The middle 50% retrieved 13-25 eggs, meaning 25% of the donors retrieved over 25 and 25% retrieved under 13. Mature eggs were slightly lower, at a median of 15. 

Here is the breakdown of median eggs retrieved (and middle 50%) from the study, by age:

• <25: 19 (14-26)
• 25-29: 18 (13-25)
• 30-34: 16 (10-21)

Three to five donor eggs generally leads to at least one genetically normal embryo

A 2015 study of 647 frozen donor eggs found that:

• 97.1% survived thawing
• 85.3% of the eggs fertilized
• 59.1% made it to blastocyst
• 84.2% of blastocysts were euploid (genetically normal)

So three donor eggs would yield a little over one genetically normal embryo on average while nine donor eggs would be expected to yield three to four euploid embryos on average. 

So what does that mean for bringing home a baby? One study found the pregnancy rate from a single euploid is nearly 70%, and that having three euploid embryos gives you a 94.9% chance of achieving pregnancy. Since the study is from a group of infertility patients, these numbers could be even higher for donor eggs.

The number of eggs your donor will retrieve can be predicted by her AMH levels and antral follicle counts. However, it’s important to keep in mind that overall fertilization rates will vary depending on factors beyond the egg, including the quality of the sperm and the quality of the clinic. 

Read more in How Many Donor Egg Cycles Does It Take To Have A Baby?      

Fresh donor eggs may be better, but the jury’s still out

There is some evidence that the success rate with fresh donor eggs is higher than with frozen donor eggs. A 2021 study of 323 donor egg transfers found the following live birth rates:

• Fresh eggs: 49%
• Frozen eggs: 30%

Another study found that thawed frozen eggs were less likely to fertilize and develop into healthy embryos. Howeverly, ultimately, they found no difference in pregnancy outcomes between the fresh and frozen donor egg cycles. 

Regardless, even with fresh eggs, most families decide to freeze the embryos after fertilization. This way, the embryos can undergo genetic testing and be saved for future sibling transfers. Some studies have found that frozen embryos have a higher implantation rate compared to fresh embryos, while other studies show just the opposite.

Read more in What's the Difference Between Fresh vs. Frozen Donor Eggs?

Children born through egg donation live happy, normal lives

While we still need more research into the experiences of donor-conceived people, there have been a few important studies that give us confidence that donor-conceived children have the same well-being as other children, and may even be closer to their mothers than others.

A study of 40 children born through egg donation found:

• Children in egg donation families view their relationships with their mothers as warm and enjoyable, even more so than other children
• There is no difference in the father-child relationship for children born via egg donation
• There is no difference in the egg-donor children’s rating of their own psychological well-being 

When researchers asked the children about whether they would change anything about their family… The vast majority said that they would keep their family the same as it is. 

Similarly, another study found that mothers through egg donation find their relations higher in joy than other mothers. And egg donation mothers have low rates of disappointment and anger. So while it may feel daunting to pursue donor eggs at first, parents quickly come to terms with the situation and have similar, if not better, experiences compared to other parents. 

Read more in How Can I Come to Terms with Using Donor Eggs?

Donor compensation can be problematic

A 2021 Harvard study found that 62% of donor-conceived adults felt the exchange of money for donor gametes was wrong, and 41% were troubled by the fact that money was exchanged around their conception. 

Researchers have also found that payment may incentivize donors to falsify information, which could compromise the welfare of the donor child and family. ASRM suggests that a reasonable compensation should not exceed $5,000 US dollars per cycle.

At Cofertility, we have a unique model that does not include cash compensation. Instead, egg donors keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use. This has led us to be able to recruit a more diverse, high-caliber group of donors while serving families in a more ethical way. 

Telling donor-conceived children how they were conceived is paramount

Most experts agree that it’s best to be honest with children about how they were conceived and normalize their conception from an early age. 

One study found a lack of communication about the child’s genetic origins may interfere with positive interactions between mothers and their children (the study did not mention fathers). And secrecy surrounding the child’s donor conception was associated with less positive mother-child interaction. Another study of donor conceived adults found that greater parental avoidance of the topic was associated with poorer family functioning.

Sharing this information is good for the parents too. Mothers who disclose the information to their children by age 7 or 10 show lower rates of depression than those who do not disclose, and fathers have lower stress levels.

But we don’t need studies to know that honesty is important. Secrecy assumes shame, and there is nothing shameful about donor egg conception. 

Read more in How to Talk to Your Donor-Conceived Child About Their Conception Story

“Anonymous” donation is not a thing

In a world of ubiquitous genetic testing and social media, no gamete donation can be guaranteed to be anonymous. Regardless of the information you have about the donor on paper, the donor-conceived child may grow up and find genetic relatives, or vice versa. Fact is:

• Many donor-conceived children become curious about their genetic origins as they get older
• A medical situation may arise and you have critical questions to ask the donor
• The donor-conceived person may find genetic relatives on a site like 23andMe 
• The laws around anonymity are changing 

We believe, at minimum, families should have access to the name and contact information of the donor. This doesn’t mean the family has to have a relationship with the donor, it just means that if the child grows up and wants to reach out, they can. 

As egg donation becomes a more popular avenue for family-building, the industry is learning more about the nuances of the process. We’ll continue to stay ahead of the research, and use these insights to support our members. If we can be of service, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.

At Cofertility, we believe in the equal right to parent. LGBTQ+ families have historically faced more rigorous scrutiny and challenges than heterosexual families regarding their rights to be or become parents. For example, discriminatory laws make it difficult in some states for both parents to be on the birth certificate, solely because of their gender. We stand by protections for LGBTQ+ parents and their children, and support all families equally. 

For LGBTQ+ individuals and families, what once seemed to be impossible, is now possible. A same sex male couple now has the ability to have a genetically-related child using donor eggs and gestational surrogacy. A same sex female couple can have a child through Reciprocal IVF where one partner's eggs are used, and the other partner carries the pregnancy. Transgender men may choose to carry pregnancies and transgender people can pursue egg and sperm freezing before transitioning in order to preserve the option to be a genetic parent. Thanks to IVF and egg donation, more and more people now have the opportunity to build their dream families.  

At Cofertility, we’re excited to guide you through the process and navigate it together. Below is a non-comprehensive and ever-changing guide of information and resources for families looking to start families. 

LGBTQ+ parenting stats:

According to Family Equality and UCLA:

• As of 2024, 5 million children are being raised by an LGBTQ+ parent
• Approximately 191,000 children are being raised by two same-sex parents
• 18% (2.57 million) of LGBTQ adults are parenting children, and approximately 22% of LGBTQ+ people think it is very likely they will have children
• Among LGBTQ+ adults under 50 living alone or with a spouse or partner, 48% of women and 20% of men are raising a child who is under 18 years old
• 25-50% of transgender individuals are parents 
• Almost one-third (31%) of LGBTQ+ parents are not legally recognized or are unsure about their legal parental status.

Children raised by LGBTQ+ families do well

Despite facing discrimination, research has found that children raised in same-sex parent families fare just as well as children raised in different-sex parent families across a wide spectrum of child well-being measures: academic performance, cognitive development, social development, psychological health, early sexual activity, and substance abuse.

Common questions LGBTQ+ families face:

• How will I (or we) become a parent?
• How important is it that I (or my partner) be biologically related to the child?
• Who will carry the pregnancy?
• Do we want to use an disclosed or undisclosed donor?
• What are the legal considerations for our family?
• How much will fertility treatments cost? 

Family-building options for cisgender single men or same-sex male couples:

IVF with donor eggs 

• Donor eggs can be from an egg donor match through Cofertility (or other egg donor matching service), or through a known donor, like a family member or friend
• Read the Gay Dad’s Guide to Egg Donation

Sperm from one or both partners

• Half the eggs can be fertilized from each partner, or all the eggs can be fertilized with sperm from one partner or a sperm donor

Gestational surrogacy

Adoption

Family-building options for cisgender women and female same-sex couples:

• At-home insemination with donor sperm
• IUI with donor sperm
• IVF with donor sperm, donor embryo, or double-donor embryo
• Reciprocal IVF (where one partner's egg are used, and the other partner carries the pregnancy)
• Adoption

Family-building options for transgender men and transmasculine nonbinary individuals (AFAB)

According to ASRM, the majority (62%) of trans men desire children. However, gender affirming hormone therapy and surgery (eg. gonadectomy) may result in loss of fertility potential which may be reversible or irreversible. 

While there is limited data on fertility preservation in transgender men, some choose to freeze eggs before transitioning. WPATH recommends that all transgender patients be counseled regarding options for fertility preservation (egg freezing) prior to transition. But even if this is not possible, transgender men still have many options for becoming parents:

• At-home insemination with donor or partner sperm (for individuals with ovaries and a uterus)
• IUI with partner or donor sperm 
• IVF with sperm (from partner or donor) and eggs (donor, own, or partners)
• Pregnancy (for individuals who retained their uterus) or gestational surrogacy
• Adoption

Family-building options for transgender women and transfeminine nonbinary individuals (AMAB)

Transgender women and transfeminine nonbinary individuals (AMAB) can freeze sperm before transitioning. But even if they are not able to, there are other options including:

• IUI with partner’s womb using AMAB or donor sperm
• IVF with partner’s womb using AMAB sperm, donor sperm, donor embryo, or double-donor embryo
• Gestational surrogacy
• Adoption

Egg donation for LGBTQ+ parents:

Egg donation is when a female donates her eggs, via IVF, to enable another individual or couple to conceive. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We work with anyone who is looking to build a family through egg donation. Whether you’re single or coupled, we do not discriminate, period. We believe the concept of “family” takes many forms, and we’re here to help your family grow, whatever that looks like. 

LGBTQ+ family-building resources:

• The Gay Dad's Guide to Egg Donation was written by Dr. Saira Jhutty and discusses the process of using donor eggs to build a family.
• Connecting Rainbows is a resource for people in the LGBTQ+ community who are building their families. They're particularly knowledgeable on the topic of second-parent adoption.
• Family Equality is the leading national nonprofit organization advancing equality for LGBTQ+ families.
• Men Having Babies (MHB) is a non-profit dedicated to providing gay men with educational and financial support to achieve parenthood.
• The National Center for Lesbian Rights works to ensure that LGBTQ parents and their children are fully recognized as families under the law, including low-income parents using low-cost assisted reproduction, both married and unmarried parents, families with more than two parents, adoptive parents, and parents conceiving using surrogacy.  
• Resolve vigilantly tracks state and federal legislation pertinent to LGBTQ+ family building across the United States, and works to support positive family building bills and to stop harmful legislation from being enacted. You can view the legislation they’re working on here. 
• Trans Fertility Co. was created by trans community members to make the world of fertility easier to understand and navigate.
• Gay Parent Magazine: Gay Parent features personal stories of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents about their experiences with international and domestic adoption, foster care, donor insemination, using a surrogate and what it is like to raise their children.
• Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexual and Transgender (PFLAG): PFLAG is devoted to educating and supporting everyone involved in the life of a sexual minority individual. There are local chapters all over the United States

Family by Co is our human-centered matching platform for intended parents pursuing egg donation. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Reach out if we can help. 

Read more:

• What Fertility Options are Out There for LGBTQ Families?
• The Gay Dad's Guide to Egg Donation
• How to Start a Family as a Single Dad by Choice

Once you are diagnosed with infertility, the medical team steps in and lays out all the available options. Their job is to give you all the facts which include the chances of a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and baby. One of those options, which entails the highest success rates in achieving a pregnancy, may be egg donation. Many times, once the relief of knowing that there is still a possibility of parenthood, the reality of what using an egg donor means sinks in. That is typically when a psychologist comes in. 

The most common questions asked in a therapist's office are much different than those asked in an REI’s office. Questions for a therapist typically revolve around the importance of genetics, the fear of not bonding, how the parent/child relationship will look, and long-term impact of the donation on everyone involved. As an expert psychologist in this field, I have worked with thousands of families pursuing egg donation. In this guide, we’ll walk through common questions and what I want you to know. 

Five common questions about becoming a parent through egg donation

Is the egg donor the biological parent?

No, the egg donor is not the biological parent. An egg donor is someone who provides 50% of what it takes to create human life. The other 50% comes from the sperm. The donor is genetically related to the child, but by no means is the parent. Read Will a Donor Conceived Child Have My DNA?

How does it feel to have a donor egg baby? 

It feels just like any other baby. Although DNA is an important determinant of who we are as people, relationships are not formed by DNA. Think about the terms mother, step-mother, mother-in-law. All of these are relationships, but only one is formed by DNA. What makes a mother / child relationship is the bond that is formed over time while caring for a child.

Will they feel like my child? 

Yes, but for some, it may not happen immediately. Just like with any other pregnancy, some women connect with their child while still pregnant, and for some it takes a few months post - delivery. Once the child is born, it is also normal to feel uncertain about not being genetically connected to your child in fact, one study found exactly that. The study found that many women pregnant via egg donation had concerns about whether the child would feel like their own, but by the end of the first year, most mothers felt secure and confident in their position as the child’s mother. 

Will I bond with my egg donor child?

It is normal to grieve the loss of not having a child that is genetically yours. It is also normal to be afraid that because your child is not genetically yours, that you may have a hard time bonding. The truth is, regardless if your child is born via donor eggs or otherwise, bonding doesn’t happen overnight. Bonding takes place over time. 

Will my donor-conceived child bond with my biological child?

Those facing secondary infertility (infertility after having a biological child) have concerns that the two children will not bond because they do not share 100% of their genes. They are afraid that their donor-conceived child might feel less than their biological child and may have difficulty bonding. Once your child arrives however, you will be a family, just like any other family. Because they are being raised together they won’t see each other as anything but siblings. Again, just like any other relationship, the sibling relationship will also grow and evolve over time.

Here’s what I want you to know

If you’ve been working to build your family through your own IVF cycles, you may have already faced grief and loss. For some people, the idea of increasing chances of success with donor eggs is a relief. But for others, it may take some time coming to terms with using donor eggs. Here’s what I want you to know. 

Nurture is important, and you will truly shape this little human’s life

Nature refers to how genetics influence development, whereas nurture refers to how the environment, such as relationships and experiences, influence development. While some aspects of development may be strongly influenced by biology, environmental influences may also play a role. For example, heredity influences how tall a person will be but if a child grows up in an environment without adequate nutrition, then they may not reach their potential height. At the end of the day, DNA plays a role in your child's development, but the parent who cares, loves and supports their child, greatly contributes to the type of person their child will grow up to become. 

Children in egg donation families do well

We now have evidence that both donor-conceived children (from early childhood to adolescence) and their parents are psychologically well adjusted and do not differ from families with spontaneously or own-gamete conceived children. One study found that "Children in egg donation families viewed their relationships with their mothers as significantly higher in warmth and enjoyment than did children in the control group of IVF families" and "it is possible that having waited so long to have their children, egg donation mothers are especially committed to parenthood when their children do arrive."

It’s okay to seek therapy and support

Talking openly and honestly in a judgment free space is an important aspect to processing feelings, and finding the acceptance and peace to move forward with your journey to parenthood. Speaking with a therapist who specializes in fertility can be an invaluable resource. So can speaking with others who have either already been through the egg donation process or are contemplating using a donor. Find comfort that everything you are feeling has been felt by parents before you. All your doubts and fears have surfaced in many parents as well. We are here to support you on this journey. 

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.

Disclosing to your child that they were born via egg donation may make you anxious or nervous. You may worry about when, what, and how to tell them the story. Because of this, some parents may want to delay this conversation for as long as possible, or may avoid this conversation at all. Although this is your family and you get to decide how / if  to tell your story, research has shown over and over the importance of openness and honesty in telling children their conception story and telling it early. 

Why telling your child their donor conception story is important

But why is disclosure even important? Some reasons for disclosing include your child’s right to know about their genetics, the need for them to have accurate medical information, and most importantly – for encouraging honesty and trust in your relationship. Finding out accidentally from a family member, a DNA test, or routine medical check can create lasting psychological damage and make your child feel as though their conception is somehow shameful (which it’s absolutely not). 

Although it’s hard to predict your child’s reaction to this knowledge, research has shown that most parents do not express regret about sharing their story with their child and report no negative effect on their child or with their relationship with their child upon disclosing. In fact, studies indicate that disclosing families saw themselves as being more competent as parents and having a stronger relationship with their children, than those who did not disclose.

When should you tell your child they are donor conceived?

But what about the timing? When should you start telling? The advantages of telling your child early (think toddler age) have been associated with better outcomes because starting early helps the child process the information in a more factual and non-emotional manner. It allows for the parents to establish the foundation for an ongoing discussion about how their family came to be. It also helps in introducing a vocabulary which can be used and elaborated on as the child’s understanding develops. Finally, it helps parents with practicing telling the story until it becomes second nature and just a part of their family history. 

You have to keep in mind that disclosure is not about getting the facts right, it is simply about telling your child.

You have to keep in mind that disclosure is not about getting the facts right, it is simply about telling your child. Saying they are too young to understand can sometimes become an excuse for not telling the child early on. Parents may feel that they need to wait until their child is old enough to understand. But disclosure is a process, not a one time announcement. It is not about your child understanding the facts about reproduction, science or family origins. Disclosure is an ongoing process where more and more information is gradually shared and discussed. 

Before you start writing your script or deciding on when and how you are going to share the conception story, it is important for you, as a parent, to think about what using donor eggs has meant to you. What are your fears regarding using a donor and how does that fear play a role in disclosure? You need to be at peace with yourself and your decision to use a donor. Secondly, if you have a partner, ensure that you are both on the same page regarding disclosure and the timing of it. 

Tips for talking to your child about being donor conceived

So how do you start? The first part of disclosure is the when and how regarding conception. Start with the basics and use age appropriate language when speaking to your child. What does that mean? It means talking to your child in a way they will understand. Your script can begin with your want to have a family but inability to do so, therefore, needing to turn to a donor and doctor for help. Focus on the happiness and love that came when the special baby was born and your gratitude for all those who helped.  

As your child grows older, you can begin to expand on this story by telling more facts about reproduction, egg and sperm, and the science used. You can also start telling them more about their donor. You will find as your child grows their curiosity about their donor may also grow. This is completely normal. But don't let this curiosity impact you negatively. Interest does not mean they are looking for their “real parent” or that your relationship with your child is in trouble. Knowledge about their donor is just one part of disclosure and can be an important part of identity formation. So try to preserve as much donor information as you can (profiles, pictures etc), as this may become important information for your child in later life. 

Read Nine Things To Know About Raising A Donor Conceived Child

There are many books that can be used to help share your family story. You can even make your own book with pictures of the donor, the doctors, the embryo etc. that can be read from day one. You can also read more about what other parents have done and what worked for them or join a support group specifically for families using donors to have a family. 

At the end of day, you want to normalize your child’s birth story and you want to differentiate the donor from the parent. You want to reinforce your role as a parent and the generosity and kindness of the world that came together to create the most special member of the family. 

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.

Primary infertility is when a couple has not gotten pregnant after one year of actively trying. However, when a couple already has one biological child and is unable to have a second, it is known as secondary infertility. If you are experiencing secondary infertility, and want to learn and understand more about it and how egg donation may work in this situation, read on. 

Primary infertility impacts one in five couples whereas secondary infertility impacts one in 10 couples. With both types of infertility, one cause that can be attributed is age. By age 30, a woman’s fertility begins to decline. By the time a woman reaches the age of 45, getting pregnant naturally is very unlikely. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that if you are under 35 years of age and have been actively trying to conceive for up to a year, or if you are over 35 years of age and have been actively trying to conceive for up to six months without success, then it is time to see a fertility specialist.

Although the causes of primary and secondary infertility are pretty much the same, the emotional impact can differ. However there is hope in that fertility treatments for both types of infertility are the same and both have high success rates.

Trying for a second child

People experiencing secondary infertility may have had no issues having their first child. Regardless of their experience getting pregnant the first time, they usually had dreams for multiple children with hopes of having at least one sibling for their child. Having problems getting pregnant the second time around can sometimes be even more stressful and painful than  primary fertility because many times secondary fertility can be overlooked or neglected, and it can feel very lonely. 

The thinking that “well at least you have one” does not make it easier to relinquish the dream of having more than one child. Along with the shock and frustration of not being able to get pregnant again, there can come a sense of guilt because you should feel grateful for the one you have.  Or feeling selfish because there are so many that can’t or don't even have one child. And there can also be a sense of sadness because you are not able to give your child a sibling. 

How to have a baby with donor eggs after secondary infertility

If you have been told that your egg quality or quantity is insufficient, then it may be time to turn to donor eggs. Depending on your individual circumstances, the chances of having a baby using a donor egg may be significantly higher than the chances of having a baby with IVF using your own eggs. Around 50 percent of all donor egg cycles result in a pregnancy, giving hope of keeping the dream of more than one child a viable option. Although your second and first child may not be full genetic siblings, if the sperm used to create the embryo is the same as the first, then your children will be 50% biologically related. 

Is a donor egg pregnancy different?

Every pregnancy is different. So a pregnancy using donor eggs could look different than your first pregnancy.  Not because the embryo is created with a donor egg but maybe because of your age, or due to the fact that you are already caring for a young child and depending on their age, you may not be getting a lot of sleep or rest. Your life circumstances could be different the second time around - such as a different job, different responsibilities, and obligations than before etc.  There are many factors that could impact how this pregnancy looks and feels. 

Read Will a Donor Conceived Child Have My DNA?

Will the bonding experience be different for a donor-conceived child?

Once the baby is born, the bonding experience between you and the new baby will probably look and feel different than the first one as well. But not because they are donor-conceived! Most second time parents say they are more relaxed the second time around because they know what to expect and some find they can enjoy the infant stage a little bit more than they did the first time around. However, some find it to be a bit more difficult because they already have a child who may have some difficulties adjusting to this new life without all the attention.

How do you know if turning to donor eggs is right for you? 

Think about your motivation to have a second child, what is it and how strongly motivated are you to have another? How do you view the role and importance of a sibling in the life and development of your first child? What might the future look like if it included one child versus more than one? If the motivation and desire is very strong, and if you have tried all means to get pregnant again, then donor eggs might be right for you.

Read Donor Egg Success Rates: a Breakdown 

You may want to have a child that physically looks like you or your first child, and that can carry a lot of stress around using donor eggs. Really when looking for an egg donor, you want to find someone who could fit into your family. Maybe someone who has freckles like your sister or curly hair like your mother. Maybe you come from a family of chess players and you want someone who also loves chess. At the end of the day you want to always come back to your why… Why do you want a second child and how strong is your motivation and desire to have another?  

You don’t have to struggle alone. There are many community resources dedicated to people experiencing secondary infertility and Cofertility is one of them. We work to make this a warmer, more human centric process, by offering community and support throughout this journey. 

Our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

Just a few years ago, the idea of “open or disclosed” egg donation wasn’t really discussed, especially in the United States. Most donations were done anonymously. Typically, recruitment for egg donors was done under the premise that their identity would never be revealed and they would not have to be concerned about the donor-conceived child one day reaching out. Most informed consents for intended parents included a paragraph indicating that they would not have any identifying information about the woman who donated her eggs aside from a few pictures, some demographic information, and some self-reported medical information. Most parents and donors were good with that because anonymity and secrecy was the norm.  

Why anonymous donation is a thing of the past

Enter at-home-DNA testing, social media, and reverse photo searches, and the promise of anonymity pretty much went out the window. And as more donor conceived people started speaking about their experiences, it became apparent that knowing the donor in some capacity was very important. In a survey conducted in 2020, 70% of respondents (all of whom were donor-conceived) believed they were harmed by not knowing their donor’s identity, and 80% believed they had been harmed by not knowing their donor’s medical history. And as technology improved and egg donation became more and more of a viable option to have a baby, more research started springing up looking at the ramifications of anonymous versus known egg donation.

Read Disclosed vs. Undisclosed Donation: What's the Difference?

If it has been a few years since your child was born via egg donation, you may not have even had the option to share identifying information. Or if you did, most available donors were not open to sharing their identifying information, so you had to choose what was available. Or if you did have the choice, you may have decided to opt out and not share any information. 

At the time, not wanting to share identifying information probably made the most sense because unfortunately, the entire process can be so medical and procedural that it can be easy to forget the human side of things. Future parents can be so wrapped up in their longing for a child, and are so focused on creating embryos, that anonymity may have actually come as a relief. A relief from not having to think of the donor as someone whose family tree would be soon connected to yours. And maybe a relief because at that time you never planned on telling anyone and anonymity could be a way to maintain this secret.  And for many parents, an anonymous egg donor meant there would not be the threat of another “parent” to ruin the relationship between you and your future child.

But once your child arrived, perhaps you realized that this is your child and nothing, not even genetics could change that, so you may have started thinking differently about your egg donor. Or perhaps you have heard from donor-conceived people on social media, who are against anonymous donation. 

Read Why We Don’t Believe in Anonymous Egg Donation

Maybe you wondered if your donor was left handed because your son is left handed. Maybe he has an intense interest in something that no one else in your family has. Or a medical diagnosis has you wondering where that came from? Perhaps a sense of regret kicks in and you think you made a mistake. You know having your child via egg donation was definitely not a mistake as there is no doubt that you are the parent and that this is your child. But perhaps you regret picking a donor that was anonymous because you realize that the egg donor is not a threat to your relationship, she is the one who allowed you this opportunity to become a parent. And maybe you realize that your child has a right to know about their genetics. 

Guilt is understandable. But you need to give yourself some grace because at the time you made the best decision given the knowledge and information you had at hand. A few years ago, even agencies and doctors agreed that anonymity was the way to go. If you used anonymous donor eggs and now regret that decision, remember it was not your fault. Agencies and egg banks have largely failed to educate families. And most haven’t listened to the voices of donor-conceived people. 

What to do if you used anonymous donor eggs

But now what? What can you do about this feeling of ‘maybe I made a mistake?’ Talk to your child, when you deem appropriate and like always, be honest. Be open about why you chose this route. If it was because you felt threatened and were afraid of how knowing the donor could potentially blur the lines, then tell them that. If it was because you really wanted to work with this donor despite her wanting to have an anonymous relationship, tell them that. If it was because the agency or egg bank didn’t do their job to educate you on the options, tell them that. Be honest.  

What if my child wants to find the donor?

If your child wants to find their donor you still have some options. One is signing up for the Donor Sibling Registry. The mission of this registry is to assist those conceived by sperm, egg, or embryo donation who are seeking to make contact with others with whom they share genetic ties. You can also contact the agency or clinic you worked with to see if they can reach the donor. This could be an option especially in certain states where laws regarding anonymity have changed.  But remember, even though you may now have changed your mind, your donor may not have changed hers. She may be content in keeping her information private.

You are a good parent

It’s important to accept that you are feeling guilt, sadness, regret or whatever negative emotion you are associating with using an anonymous egg donor to have your child.  Think about why you are feeling this way. Most likely it is because you love your child more than anything else in this world and you just want the best for them. Allow yourself to learn from this and ultimately release these feelings and move forward. This means reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can, you made the best decision you could, given the information you had at the time, and given the same circumstances, most parents in your shoes, probably would have made the same decision.

When you’re considering building your family through egg donation, one of the biggest questions you’ll need to answer is whether the donor will be known to you and your family. While anonymous egg donations have historically been the more common route, there’s a growing trend towards disclosed relationships. In this day and age, there is no such thing as an anonymous donation. What’s more, anonymity is not in your child’s best interest. We do, however, offer you the opportunity to enter an undisclosed donation. Below I explain how we define undisclosed donations and how they differ from anonymous donations. 

Your disclosure options with Cofertility

With Cofertility, you can opt for a disclosed or undisclosed donation. Both intended parents and donors indicate their disclosure preferences upfront. In most cases both parties will agree on their disclosure status before the match is official. 

In a disclosed donation, you and the donor exchange contact information and can communicate directly. 

In an undisclosed donation, you and the donor do not exchange contact information and all communication will come through Cofertility. With an undisclosed donation, you could arrange to have the information available to your child down the road (this is sometimes called Open ID).

We highly encourage disclosed donations. Studies show that it’s best to be open with your child about his or her donor conceived origins. With disclosed donations, you may get more information about your donor’s genetics that you can share with your child when the time is right. We’ve also listened to the voices of donor conceived people who believe it is their right to have access to their donor’s identity.  

The extent of the relationship that you have with the donor, including the point at which your contact information is shared and the frequency of communication, is up to both parties and will be determined during the agreement phase. You may, for example, share contact information so that your child may reach out to the donor down the line, but agree to minimal communication today. 

As with any relationship, this may evolve with time and as you and the donor get to know one another. In either case (disclosed or undisclosed), you can choose to meet the donor during the matching period without sharing contact information. 

How is undisclosed different from anonymous? 

When someone enters an anonymous donation, they are led to believe that identifying information will never be revealed and neither party will ever be in contact with the other. 

While identifying information, such as full names and date of birth, are not revealed from the outset in an undisclosed relationship, we cannot - and do not - guarantee that the parties will never be in contact. Instead, we require that every donor and intended parent affirms the point that anonymity cannot be guaranteed. Moreover, we make each person aware that there is a chance that the donor conceived person has questions about his or her genetics down the line and tries to reach out to the donor. 

Advances in commercial DNA testing and the ever-widening scope of the internet has voided the promise of anonymity. With access to products like 23andMe, there’s a good chance that at some point, someone - whether it is your child, a member of your family, or a member of your donor’s family - will take a DNA test and find out that your child was conceived using donor eggs. This is part of the reason why we highly encourage you to be open with your child about his or her conception story rather than them learning it secondhand through other channels. 

Shifting laws around anonymous donation

The legal landscape around anonymous donation is also changing. In most of Europe and Australia, anonymous egg donation is already illegal. Within the US, a 2020 California law states that once a donor conceived person turns 18, the bank that collected the gametes will have to provide the child with identifying information of the donor. Even if the donor signed a declaration saying they want to remain anonymous, the gamete bank still has to make a good faith effort to notify the donor to see if they will agree to release the information. 

In June 2022, Colorado signed new legislation banning anonymous sperm and egg donation. Beginning in 2024, donor conceived people can find out their donor’s identity and medical history when they turn 18. Individuals cannot donate unless they agree to have their identity released when the donor is of age.  While this particular legislation is limited to Colorado for the time being, other states are expected to follow suit. 

What’s next

While anonymity is neither possible nor advised, we are confident that you and the donor can align on disclosure status and a relationship that meets both of your needs and satisfies the curiosity of your child. Although it is important for both parties to feel comfortable, it is also critical to keep the needs of your future child in mind and maintain realistic expectations around what and how much information can be made available. 

If you are using donor eggs to build your family – you may be unsure of what type of relationship, if any, you would like to have with your egg donor. You might not have even realized that a relationship was possible, as you may have been told the process was supposed to be anonymous. But as more people are turning to egg donation to build their family, new research and changing laws are redefining these notions. Below I outline the different types of relationships that can exist between you and your donor, why true anonymity is not really an option and most importantly, why anonymity is not in your child’s best interest. 

Disclosed vs undisclosed egg donation

With Cofertility, parents and their donors can choose whether their donation is disclosed or undisclosed. Both disclosed and undisclosed donations come with their own set of implications.  In most cases, your desired disclosure status is discussed between the parties prior to being matched. At Cofertility, donors even have their disclosure preference listed in their profile so you know ahead of time what they’re looking for and you can filter your options based on this criteria. 

• An undisclosed donation is one where you do not exchange contact information. Although you will have access to photos and other demographic information about the donor, you will only communicate through Cofertility. With an undisclosed donation, you could arrange to have the information available to your child down the road (this is sometimes called Open ID).
• A disclosed donation is one where you and your donor exchange contact information and communicate directly. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have a close relationship with the donor, perhaps you email once a year around the holidays. But this option keeps the door open for your child to more easily reach out to the donor with questions as they get older. 

A major benefit of disclosed donation is that you may potentially get more information about your donor’s genetics and family of origin. Another advantage is the ability to provide information to your child. Experts agree that being honest with your child about their conception, and normalizing it early on is best. 

In either case, the scope and degree of communication - both during and post-match - is what both parties agree upon. As with any relationship, this one will also evolve as time goes on. I know some parents who early on forged a very close relationship with the woman who donated her eggs, but as time went on, and everyone started getting into the daily rhythms of their own lives, the relationship slowly started to drift into yearly holiday cards and limited communication.

You can also have a disclosed donation with minimal to no communication today, but agree to share contact info and keep the line open in the event that the future child wants to reach out down the line.

Don’t let fears of disclosure stop you

Some parents fear that their child may become too close to their donor and reject them as a parent if they opt for an undisclosed donation. Even though they legally and by all other terms are the parent, this fear nevertheless exists for some. (Read this article to learn why this is an unfounded fear).

The fact is, studies show that children in egg donation families rate their relationships with their mothers as high in warmth and enjoyment (even more so than other types of families!). And when donor-conceived children were asked about whether they would change anything about their family, the vast majority said that they would keep their family the same as it is.

Undisclosed vs. anonymous egg donation

While identifying information, such as full names and date of birth, are not revealed in an undisclosed relationship, true anonymity can never be promised. Some people confuse undisclosed with anonymous, but it is important to understand that the two are not the same. An anonymous relationship implies that there will be no identifying information revealed to either party, and the donor and parents will never be in direct contact with each other or ever know of each other. Some anonymous donation contracts even have both parties contractually agree to never attempt to reach out!

However, now with a simple internet search or a reverse photo lookup, anyone can find out a lot of personal information. And with the advent of at-home DNA testing, the promise of true anonymity can no longer be guaranteed. There’s a chance that at some point, someone - whether it is your child, or a member of your family or your donor’s family - will find out that your child was conceived using donor eggs because of a DNA test. 

Another major reason that anonymity is no longer a guarantee has to do with laws.  Although donor anonymity is already illegal in countries such as Australia and throughout most of Europe,  laws regarding anonymous egg and sperm donation are also being passed in the United States. For example, in California, a law that came into effect in January 2020 states that once the donor conceived child turns 18, the bank that collected the gametes will have to provide the child with identifying information of the donor. Even if the donor signed a declaration saying they want to remain anonymous, the gamete bank still has to make a good faith effort to notify the donor to see if they will agree to release the information. These types of laws are being put into effect all over the United States.

In June 2022, Colorado also signed new legislation banning anonymous sperm and egg donation. Beginning in 2024, donor conceived people can find out their donor’s identity and medical history when they turn 18. Individuals cannot donate unless they agree to have their identity released when the donor is of age.  While this is limited to Colorado, other states are expected to follow suit. 

So while anonymity does not exist, you and the donor can find a mutual agreement on the type of relationship that meets both of your needs and satisfies the curiosity of your child. Although it is important to create a relationship that you feel most comfortable with, it is even more important to have realistic expectations around what and how much information will be revealed or is made available. 

At Cofertility, we highly encourage disclosed donations. Studies show that being open with your child about his or her conception is important for their identity formation. We also listen to the voices of donor conceived people, who believe it is their right to access the identity of the donor. However, if both the intended parent and the donor opt for undisclosed donation, that decision will be honored provided that both parties accept that anonymity cannot be guaranteed.