egg donors

The path to parenthood can take many roads. There is no single “right way” to become a parent, so you may be debating which path is the right one for you. Two options include egg donation or adoption. 

If you’re asking yourself “should I adopt or find a donor?” then this article is for you. Here, we’ll explore the pros and cons of egg donation, adoption, and embryo donation to help you make the best decision for your family.

What Is egg donation?

The first child born from egg donation was reported in Australia in 1983 and the first American child born from egg donation was in February 1984. Before this medical intervention, for most, adoption was the only path to parenthood. Egg donation opened the door for more people to become parents. 

Egg donation is ideal for those who:

• Have experienced infertility
• Have high risks of passing on genetic disorders to their offspring
• Have diminished ovarian reserve or early menopause.
• Have had multiple unsuccessful IVF cycles
• Are single 
• Are in a same-sex relationship

Pros of using donor eggs

✅ High success rates – donor egg IVF offers higher pregnancy success rates than using one’s own eggs.
✅ Biological connection – the child may share a genetic link with one parent.
✅ Experience pregnancy – if you plan to carry the pregnancy, you can still go through pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing.
✅ Biological siblings – if you already have children, donor eggs can allow for genetic siblings.

Cons of using donor eggs

❌ Emotional considerations – Some may grieve the loss of a genetic link to the mother.
❌ Finding the right donor – The process of selecting an egg donor can take time.
❌ Financial costs – though with our Family by Co platform, we’ve removed cash compensation for donors from the equation. Instead, our donors freeze their eggs entirely for free when giving half of the eggs retrieved to your family.
❌ No guarantees – While donor eggs have higher success rates, there’s no guarantee an embryo will be created or result in pregnancy.

What is adoption?

Adoption is the legal process through which a person assumes the parenting responsibilities for someone else's biological child. The concept of adoption exists across cultures and countries and may be traced all the way back to 6th century AD Roman Law. During this time, if the family patriarch did not have a male heir, an heir could be adopted. This was important for the Romans because by adopting one another’s sons, the nobility ensured the wealth would stay within a few families. 

In the United States, the first modern adoption legislation, the Adoption of Children Act, was passed in Massachusetts in 1851. This act required judges to determine that adoptive parents had “sufficient ability to bring up the child” and that “it is fit and proper that such adoption should take effect.” 

Today there are different types of adoption, including:

• Domestic adoption – Adopting a child within your own country.
• International adoption – Adopting a child from another country.
• Open or semi-open adoption – The birth parent may have ongoing contact with the child.

Pros of adoption

✅ Providing a loving home – Adoption gives a child a stable and supportive family.

✅ Proven success – Studies have shown that adoptive children are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol and more likely to graduate from high school and go on to college than those who remain in foster care. They are also more likely to have successful careers and strong relationships.

✅ Peace of mind for birth parents – Birth parents often feel reassured that their child is in a loving, caring home.

Cons of adoption

❌ Time-consuming process – Adoption can take 9–12 months or longer.
❌ Cost – Domestic infant adoptions can range from $40,000 to $70,000+.
❌ Birth parent rights – In some cases, birth parents may change their minds during pregnancy or up to 30 days after adoption.
❌ Ongoing birth parent involvement – Since most adoptions are open, there is a chance that the birth parent may want to be a part of the child’s life, and that may be difficult for some adopting parents.
❌ Not always inclusive – Different states have different laws on who can become an adoptive parent based on age, sexual orientation and even religious affiliation.

What is embryo donation?

Embryo donation is an option for individuals and couples who have not been successful with traditional infertility treatments. In this process, frozen embryos donated by others are transferred to the recipient’s uterus, offering an alternative to egg and sperm donation.

Pros of embryo donation

✅ Shorter wait times – Embryos are already created and available.
✅ Lower costs – Typically less expensive than egg donation and adoption.
✅ Experience pregnancy – You can still carry the pregnancy, give birth, and nurse your baby.

Cons of embryo donation

❌ Limited genetic history – Embryo donation is technically an adoption. You may not have access to the full medical history of the embryo’s biological parents.
❌ Matching delays – Although embryos are readily available, it can still take time to find the right match.
❌ No guarantee of success – As with any fertility treatment, pregnancy is not guaranteed.

Which one is right for me?

The decision to use medical intervention to conceive a child or to go through an adoption agency to start a family is an extremely personal one. As you can see above, all paths come with their own set of unique challenges. 

The best thing you can do is become educated in all your options. Get second and third expert opinions. Seek out legal counsel and ask questions.

When considering your options, think about:

• Genetic connection – If having a biological child is important to you, egg donation or embryo donation may be the right path.
• Pregnancy experience – If you want to carry a pregnancy, egg donation or embryo donation allows for that experience.
• Time and cost – Adoption can take longer and cost significantly more, while egg donation and embryo donation have higher success rates.
• Ethical and emotional considerations – Both processes come with their own set of emotional challenges, so it’s essential to be well-informed.

No matter what path you choose, you are not alone. Many families have navigated this journey before you—and each one has found the path that was meant for them.

Religion can be a great source of comfort and solace during the most difficult of times. Religion has been implicated in reduced mortality, expedited recovery from illness, and improved mental health. It can encourage healthy lifestyles, provide social support, and provide meaning to life. But it can also impact help seeking behavior, especially when it comes to fertility treatment. Religiosity has been associated with greater concerns about infertility treatment, which, in turn, decreases the likelihood of help seeking (i.e IVF, egg donation etc).

Religion and assisted reproductive technology (ART)

The use of donor gametes to create embryos can ignite some serious debate in many faith circles. Some faiths say fertility treatments go against their beliefs and should not be used, even if it means someone will never become a parent otherwise. Meanwhile, other religions have no issues with it at all, as long as certain “rules” are followed. 

A Pew Research study conducted in 2013 asked people living in the United States about the moral acceptability of using in-vitro fertilization to have a family. One-third said it is morally acceptable, 12% said it was morally wrong, and 46% said it was not even a moral issue. The survey found modest differences in opinion among social and demographic groups, including religious groups, about the moral acceptability of IVF. 

But for many religious people their religious beliefs strongly inform their understanding of fertility and parenthood. Procreation can be an important tenet of a religion along with prescribed roles for the male and female partner when it comes to parenthood. So what if you want a family and the only way that family can be created is through egg donation? And what if you are someone who holds strongly to their faith - a faith that carried you through troubled times - only to discover that very faith does not give you its blessing to have the family you have prayed for? 

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What if you are someone who holds strongly to their faith - a faith that carried you through troubled times - only to discover that very faith does not give you its blessing to have the family you have prayed for?

How do I navigate making a decision?

You want to adhere to the teachings of your religion and at the same time you also have a very strong desire to have a child.  What should you consider when deciding how you want to proceed so you can feel good about your decision? How can you find a way to remain connected to your beliefs even if your choice is different from what is taught by your religion?

Give yourself permission to imagine different options

Play your life tape forward and really imagine how it feels to go against your beliefs in order to achieve pregnancy. Now imagine how it feels to stay strong in your beliefs and never be a parent. Discuss these options with your partner. Write them down in a journal and come back to them in a few weeks. Does one evoke a bigger emotion? Does one feel better than the other? There is no right or wrong and there is no judgment - you are allowed to imagine and really think through your different options. 

Speak to trusted members of your community.

Speak to respected and trusted members of your faith community. Ask questions to fully understand what your religion’s expectations are regarding parenthood and regarding ART and IVF and donor eggs. What are your expectations? Do they match or are they very different? 

If they are different, would you ever make a decision to pursue donor egg IVF that isn’t sanctioned by your religious teachings? If yes, how would your community support you? Would you be ostracized? What does it mean to be against these teachings?  If you would never go against the teachings, then how can your religion provide guidelines about living child free? Would you be able to find peace regarding infertility from your religious teachings? Studies have shown that infertile women with higher levels of spiritual well-being reported fewer depressive symptoms and less overall distress from their infertility experience because of the support from their religious community.  

Summing it up

Faith can be an essential aspect of a person’s life. Sometimes it is possible that not all  tenants align. But that does not necessarily mean that you forsake your faith, nor does that necessarily mean you give up your desire for a family. It may mean digging even further and leaning even stronger into your faith.  It may mean exploring all your different options by researching, talking, asking questions, and praying. All of these things can open doors and create alternative paths to parenthood that you may not have ever considered.

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For many, infertility treatment — whether or not you pursue egg donation — can be a costly process, even if it provides an incredible opportunity for people who want to achieve their dreams of parenthood. Fortunately, there are several ways to finance infertility costs (including the cost of using an egg donor) with loans that can make the process more accessible, a mission of ours here at Family by Co. 

Egg donation financing options to consider

Here are some options to consider when financing the use of an egg donor:

Financing programs

Some fertility clinics offer financing programs that allow individuals and couples to pay for egg donation services over time, often with little to no interest. These programs can make the cost of egg donation more manageable by breaking it down into smaller, more affordable payments. However, it's essential to understand the terms and conditions of the financing program, including any fees or penalties that may apply.

If you’ve decided you want to go the loan route, you have many options to choose from. There are general lending companies as well as companies that specialize in loans just for fertility treatments. 

Sunfish

Sunfish makes fertility treatment attainable for all types of families. If you’re pursuing egg donation and are interested in working with Family by Co to find your perfect match, we've partnered with Sunfish to offer you fertility financial resources and support throughout your journey. Sunfish offers the most comprehensive marketplace of financial options for IVF, egg freezing, embryo preservations, gestational surrogacy, egg donations, and more, up to $100,000 at industry-low rates. 

Sunfish has also waived their application and membership fees for all intended parents who are working with Cofertility. To take advantage of Cofertility’s infertility loan partnership with Sunfish, click here.

Ally

Ally’s loans offer solutions to cover the cost of infertility treatment at select partner clinics. Fill out a form to see your lending options and choose from 24-84-month loan options with annual percentage rates (APRs) starting at 3.99%.

FutureFamily

FutureFamily offers IVF loans (including egg donation), and they handle paying all your bills so you have just one easy payment. Loans start at $150/month* for 60 months based on your clinic, credit score, and approved infertility-related expenses. While you can apply individually, the rates are better (0% APR) if you are freezing with one of their partner clinics.

Lending Club 

Lending Club offers infertility loans that cover things like genetic testing, medications, and medical procedures at select partner clinics. They forward payment directly to the providers within three business days. Monthly payments are as low as $263/month to finance $15,000 with a 7.99% APR for 72 months.

Personal loans

Personal loans can be an option to finance the cost of egg donation, but they often come with high-interest rates and fees. It's essential to compare multiple loan options, understand the terms and conditions, and consider the long-term impact of taking on debt.

Other ways to save

Tax credits

The IRS offers a tax credit of up to $13,360 for qualifying expenses related to infertility treatments, including egg donation. This credit can significantly reduce the cost of using an egg donor, but it's important to consult with a tax professional to ensure that you qualify and understand the application process.

Infertility grants

In addition to financing the process with a loan, you may want to consider applying for infertility grants. There are many programs out there with shared goals of making family-building dreams come true. We also recommend checking out your state’s mandated fertility insurance coverage to see what you may be entitled to. 

What to know about taking out a loan

When taking out a loan, you’ll want to understand the terms and conditions of the loan, as well as the responsibilities that come with borrowing a large sum of money. A lot of the websites listed above will have online calculators to help you get a sense for the terms and fees you can expect. 

Loan amount: Consider how much you want to finance and whether they finance that amount. You could finance part, or all, of the egg freezing expenses. 

Loan terms: Loan terms are the length of time you have to repay the loan, and they can range from a few months to several years. Shorter loan terms generally result in higher monthly payments, while longer loan terms result in lower monthly payments but a higher total cost over the life of the loan.

Interest rates: Interest rates are the fees charged by the lender for borrowing money, and they can have a significant impact on the total cost of the loan. Find out the current interest rate being charged, and if that interest rate will stay the same or change over time. 

Loan fees: Of course, these lending groups need to make money, and they do this through loan fees. Loan fees are the additional charges associated with taking out a loan, including origination fees, application fees, late-payment fees, or prepayment penalties. You can use the annual percentage rate (APR) to compare average yearly fee and interest-rate expenses over the term of the loan. It's important to carefully review all loan fees and to make sure you understand the total cost of the loan.

Repayment options: Repayment options are the ways in which you can pay back the loan, including monthly payments, lump sum payments, or a combination of both.

Loan security: Loan security is the collateral that you provide to the lender to secure the loan, such as a home or a car. If you fail to repay the loan, the lender may take possession of the collateral. If you're taking out a secured loan, it's important to carefully consider the risks and responsibilities associated with putting up collateral.

Finally, if you’re quoted a monthly payment, remember to look beyond the monthly payment.  Think about how long you will pay, and what fees and costs have been added. 

In summary

Infertility loans are a great option to consider when financing your path to parenthood. We’re all about making the family-building process — especially via egg donation — more accessible. Through our platform, we’re able to reduce costs for intended parents and help make sure donors aren’t put between a rock and a hard place. 

How do we do it? With Family by Co, all of the egg donors on our platform give half of their eggs retrieved to intended parents, just like you, and freeze the other half for themselves for free to preserve some of their own fertility for the future. This way, they’re able to give a life-changing gift, but also consider their own ambitions and lifestyle choices. We feel this is significantly more ethical than other donation options out there, and our intended parents love the transparent nature of our platform.

We’re thrilled to continue our mission to make egg donation a more accessible family-building option, while providing an empowering opportunity for women who want to preserve some of their reproductive future. 

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Family by Co platform serves as a more transparent, ethical egg donor matching platform. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account today!