What To Expect At Your Match Meeting: A Guide For Split Members

Meeting intended parents for the first time can feel a bit like a blind date - there's excitement, some nerves, and that initial moment of "What do I say first?" As a Split member who's donating half your eggs while keeping half for yourself, this meeting is an opportunity to connect with the family you'll be helping create.

In this guide, we'll walk you through what typically happens during a Match Meeting and share tips for making the conversation flow naturally. We'll also cover frequently asked questions about these meetings and provide guidance on how to prepare.

While every Match Meeting is unique, most follow a similar pattern: initial introductions lead to discovering shared interests or experiences, which then opens up deeper conversations about hopes, expectations, and how this new relationship might evolve in the future. Let's explore how to navigate this important step in your Split program experience.

What’s a Match Meeting?

A Match Meeting is a casual video or phone call where Split members meet their potential intended parents for the first time. Think of it as a friendly conversation rather than an interview. These meetings typically last about an hour and are facilitated by your Cofertility Member Advocate, who helps guide the discussion and ensure everyone feels comfortable.

During the meeting, both Split members and intended parents share a bit about themselves, their backgrounds, and what brought them to Cofertility. It's a chance to get to know each other beyond the profiles you've read and to ask any questions you might have. Some people discuss their hobbies, careers, or families, while others might talk about their hopes for the future or what drew them to egg sharing.

Your Member Advocate will be there throughout the call to help keep the conversation flowing and address any questions that come up. They can also help navigate more sensitive topics or redirect the discussion if needed.

While Match Meetings are optional in our Split program, most members choose to meet one another and find it adds meaning to their match experience. These meetings help put faces and stories to the family you'll be helping create, often reinforcing your decision to participate in egg sharing. Many Split members tell us that meeting the intended parents shifted their perspective from focusing on the medical aspects of egg freezing and donation (such as the medications and retrieval procedure) to understanding the human impact of their choice.

Preparing for the Match Meeting

It's normal to feel a mix of emotions before your Match Meeting. Remember that intended parents often have similar anxieties. They want to make a good impression and hope you'll feel comfortable working with them. Out of hundreds of profiles, they felt like you were the best match. This shared vulnerability often helps break the ice.

You will most likely have already received background information on the intended parents beforehand either via an intended parent profile or through what your Member Advocate is able to share when you meet one-on-one. Consider questions you’d like to ask them. And think about your own story and what brought you to the Split program.

Of course, you’ll also want to:

• Choose a quiet, private space for the call
• Test your video and audio setup in advance
• Prepare a few questions to kick off the conversation (your Member Advocate can give you some ideas)
• Make sure your Zoom display name reflects what you feel comfortable sharing. (For example, if you only wish to share your first name, make sure your last name is not displayed).

What to expect during the meeting

The start of the meeting usually includes brief introductions facilitated by your Cofertility Member Advocate. While it might feel slightly awkward at first, this usually passes quickly as people begin to relax and find common ground.

What to expect:

• The meeting typically lasts 30-60 minutes
• Your Member Advocate will help guide the conversation
• Topics often flow naturally from general to more specific
• Both parties have chances to ask questions
• The discussion usually becomes more relaxed as it progresses

If the discussion is still going strong and you’re nearing the end of the allotted time, your Member Advocate may offer to schedule another meeting so everyone has the opportunity to have a fulfilling experience getting to know one another.

Common topics of discussion

We find that members have all sorts of conversations! Sometimes the conversations are more somber as intended parents open up about their difficulties with infertility, and other times they are more lighthearted and filled with smiles and laughter.  

Here are some common topics we hear during these calls:

• What led each party to Cofertility
• Family life and relationships
• Hobbies and interests
• Hopes for the process
• Any concerns or fears
• Views on future contact or updates

Making the most of your meeting

Creating an authentic connection during your Match Meeting comes naturally when you focus on being yourself rather than presenting a "perfect" version. Share your genuine thoughts about what drew you to the Split program and what excites you about it. When intended parents share their story, practice active listening - this means truly focusing on understanding their perspective rather than just planning what you'll say next.

Good conversations flow both ways, so try asking open-ended questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no. For example, instead of "Do you like living in [their city]?" you might ask "What brought you to [their city]?" or "What's your favorite thing about living there?" These types of questions often reveal shared interests or experiences that make the conversation more engaging.

Remember that some initial awkwardness is completely normal and usually fades within the first few minutes. If there's a brief silence or pause, don't worry - your Member Advocate is there to help keep the conversation moving.

What happens after the meeting

Your Member Advocate will allow everyone to take the rest of the day/night to reflect on how they feel after meeting, and will check in with both parties separately the following day to confirm everyone's wishes to proceed. If both sides agree, you'll move forward with clinic selection and medical screening.

Next steps:

• Take time to process your feelings about the meeting
• Share any concerns with your Member Advocate
• Ask any follow-up questions that arise
• Confirm your comfort level with moving forward
• Review any program requirements or next steps

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to share everything about my medical history?

No. Your medical history has already been reviewed during the intake process and will be reviewed by the physician prior to medical screening. The Match Meeting is more about getting to know each other as people and to ensure everyone is aligned on their hopes and expectations for the journey and beyond

What if they ask something I'm not comfortable answering?

It's perfectly fine to say something like, "I prefer not to discuss that" or "I'd rather keep that private." Your Member Advocate can also help redirect the conversation if needed.

What should I wear?

For Match Meetings happening over video call, choose something comfortable that makes you feel confident. Business casual attire (like what you might wear to lunch with friends) works well - a nice top in a solid color typically looks best on camera. Remember, this isn't a formal interview - you want to look put-together while still feeling like yourself.

Should I ask about their infertility journey?

Let them take the lead on sharing personal details about their path to egg donation. Some intended parents are very open about their story, while others prefer to keep certain aspects private. Some intended parents may feel excited and inspired by this option and some may still be working through feelings of pain and loss while trying to hold onto hope. There may be both laughter and tears throughout the course of the discussion.

What if we don't connect?

While most matches proceed successfully after the meeting, both parties have the option to decline if they don't feel it's the right fit. This rarely happens, but it's important to know you have this choice. We want the experience to be as fulfilling as possible for everyone involved.

Summing it up

Remember that this meeting is just one step in your Split program experience. While it might feel significant (and it is), most members find it becomes a natural, positive interaction once the initial nerves settle. Your Member Advocate is there to support you and ensure everyone feels comfortable throughout the process.