egg sharing

So, you’re considering donating your eggs. But you’ve been wondering about the future of those eggs once retrieved. Who will they go to? Will you have a say? 

Historically, egg donation has been a process shrouded in anonymity, where the donor and the family never meet, and the egg donor knows nothing about the family. However, not only is full anonymity in egg donation impossible with today’s technology, but it might not be what you want. Some women donating their eggs may want to know more about the recipient family, or even meet them. That’s why Cofertility is proud to be the first company to introduce the concept of “mutual matching” in the egg donation process. 

In this article, we’ll explore what mutual matching in egg donation is, why it matters, and how our Split program empowers women with more ethical choices in their egg donation journeys.

What is mutual matching?

Mutual matching in egg donation is a much more human-centered, personalized approach to connecting egg donors and recipients. 

Through Cofertility’s Split program, women can freeze their eggs for free when they donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family who can’t conceive, including those with infertility, gay dads, cancer survivors, and more. 

For Split members participating in the fresh egg donation program, we offer the option to learn more about the recipient family before agreeing to start the egg donation process. This can be through a call with the intended parents or by connecting asynchronously through a letter or video recording. 

A mutual match means the matching process is a two-way street. The intended parents aren’t the only ones who select a match, nor are they the only ones to determine the scope and degree of communication required before confirming a mutual match. The Split member should be comfortable and consenting to moving forward, too — that’s why it’s called mutual. 

Why we were the first to offer mutual matching

Traditionally, egg donation has been an “anonymous” process, with strict guidelines that ensure neither the donor nor the intended parents know the identity of the other party. However, with the advent of DNA testing, true anonymity is impossible to guarantee. Plus, not everyone wants it to be a secret. 

When we started Cofertility, we wanted to do a lot of things about egg donation differently. One of those things was simply giving you  the option of knowing who your eggs are going to and being able to say no if it doesn’t feel right. 

Mutual matching changes the old egg donation dynamic by giving you the option to learn more about, or even communicate with, the recipient family before the process continues. This offers both parties the opportunity to engage in a meaningful way, discuss their expectations, or just get to know each other. 

At Cofertility, a mutual match is entirely optional — not everyone may want to know more about the recipient family, and that’s okay. We respect everyone’s choice in how they experience the process. 

Why is a mutual match important (for some)?

Ensuring that every match moves forward with the consent of both the egg donor and the intended parent(s) is central to our process. While the degree and format of information exchanged prior to a mutual match can vary, the core principle remains: both parties must feel comfortable and agree to proceed. 

For some Split Members, a mutual match provides a sense of trust and reassurance. Others may prefer to keep the experience private and maintain distance. The beauty of mutual matching is that it offers flexibility, allowing matches to mutually agree to the level of engagement that feels right for them.

From a donor’s perspective, mutual matching can offer a more humanizing experience. Donating eggs is a big decision; some women feel more comfortable knowing more about the family who will benefit from their generosity. Mutual matching can foster a connection based on shared values and mutual respect, helping donors feel even more empowered in their decision-making process.

Disclosed vs. undisclosed egg donation

While intended parents initially pick a donor match from our database, mutual matching refers to the egg donor having the final say in moving forward with the donation with that family or not. 

You’ll also want to consider how, if at all, you would communicate with the family after the egg donation.  

If the eggs you donate lead to a child (and we hope they do!), your relationship with the parents and/or children can take on two forms:

• Disclosed: You exchange contact information and can communicate directly.
• Undisclosed: You do not exchange contact information and only communicate via Cofertility.

The scope and degree of communication (both during and post-match) is what both parties make of it and can be outlined in your legal agreement. Communication can range from sharing an annual holiday card to direct, regular communication between you and the donor-conceived child. 

This allows both donors and recipients to have more control over how much information they wish to share and whether they want the option of mutual matching. While disclosed donation provides more openness and the potential for mutual matching, undisclosed donation provides a more traditional approach, where no identifiable information is shared between the donor and the recipient, without guaranteeing anonymity. 

And, even if a Split member wishes to remain undisclosed, she can still connect with intended parents on a call should they choose to opt in. At Cofertility, we believe it’s important for everyone to have options and to make the choice that feels best for them.

The future of egg donation

At Cofertility, we believe that giving donors and recipient families the option of mutual matching is a step toward more ethical and transparent egg donation practices. We are proud to have been the first agency to introduce this option and set the standard, and we hope others will follow

Mutual matching may not be for everyone, but having the option ensures that each woman who chooses to donate can do so in a way that aligns with her values and preferences. Whether a donor opts to know more about the family or not, the most important thing is that she feels supported and empowered in her decision.

We are committed to ensuring that each donor’s journey is as positive and meaningful as possible. By offering more choices, Cofertility is proud to lead the way in a new era of egg donation — one where transparency, ethics, and personal agency come first.

To see if you qualify for Cofertility’s Split program, our unique approach to free egg freezing when you donate half the eggs retrieved to another family that can’t conceive, click here.