egg donation

When we started Cofertility, we wanted to make an impact on an industry in desperate need of change. Of the many things we wanted to do differently was giving intended parents and donors more choices about their relationships. Most agencies offered just one path: anonymous donation. Even though we knew that some parents, donors, and even donor-conceived children wanted more, the industry kept pushing for anonymity. 

This didn't sit well with us. We believed everyone deserved more options, more transparency, and higher standards across the board. That's why we created choices for both disclosed and undisclosed donation – because we know that when it comes to family building, one size doesn't fit all.

Since then, I've had countless conversations with intended parents about one of the most significant decisions they'll make in their family-building process: choosing between disclosed and undisclosed egg donation. 

This article will explain these options, explore the considerations of this choice, and share insights from experts and research. I'll also discuss how relationships can evolve over time and what we've learned from the donor-conceived community. 

What's the difference between disclosed and undisclosed egg donation?

Let's start with clear definitions: 

• In a disclosed donation, both you and your donor exchange contact information and can communicate directly. 
• With an undisclosed donation, communication happens through Cofertility, and identifying information isn't shared. 
• There's also a middle ground called Open ID, where information becomes available to your child later in life.

While every family's story is unique, we've seen beautiful relationships develop across the spectrum of disclosure options. Some families maintain light but warm contact through annual updates. Others have developed closer bonds that enrich everyone involved. And some prefer minimal contact while appreciating having open channels if needed.

Read more: Understanding the Language of Egg Donation Disclosure: Anonymous, Known, Disclosed, Open ID

What these relationships look like in practice

The terms "disclosed" and "undisclosed" might sound black and white, but the reality is far more nuanced. Here's how different arrangements might work:

Disclosed relationships can include:

• Annual updates or holiday cards
• Sharing milestone moments like first steps or graduation
• Direct communication between donor and child (if mutually agreed)
• Minimal direct contact but open lines of communication if needed
• Regular check-ins or meetings
• Social media connections

Undisclosed relationships might involve:

• Updates or questions shared through Cofertility
• No direct contact between parties

Why we encourage disclosed donation

At Cofertility, we generally recommend disclosed donation arrangements. This position comes from extensive research and, most importantly, from listening to donor-conceived individuals themselves. The US Donor Conceived Council has been clear: donor-conceived individuals having access to information about one's genetic origins is valuable for identity formation and emotional well-being.

However, we understand that every family situation is unique. While we advocate for disclosure, we respect that after careful consideration, some families and egg donors may choose an undisclosed arrangement. Our role is to support you in making an informed decision that works for your family.

The beauty of disclosure is flexibility. You can start with minimal contact and adjust over time as comfort levels change and relationships develop. Other families start with more contact, which gradually declines over time. 

Making this big decision

When making this decision, consider not just your current comfort level but your child's future needs. Research shows that donor-conceived people often have questions about their genetic origins. A disclosed arrangement keeps doors open for:

• Identity exploration
• Relationship building (if desired)
• Cultural or ancestral connections

Regardless of your disclosure choice, we require all donors to update us about relevant changes in their medical history. This information is shared with recipient families in both disclosed and undisclosed arrangements.

Consider these questions as you decide:

• What information might your child want access to later?
• How comfortable are you with different levels of contact?
• What are your partner's feelings about disclosure?
• How might your comfort level change as your child grows?
• What resources would you want available to your child?

If you are having a hard time making this decision, we highly recommend talking to a fertility psychologist to help you think through the decision. 

Common concerns about disclosure

Disclosure is a new concept for many families. After all, egg donation has been traditionally “anonymous,” with no contact or information shared between families and egg donors. Because of this, some intended parents share worries about disclosure. Let's address the most common ones:

Privacy and boundaries 

"What if the donor wants too much involvement?" This is where clear agreements come in. You can set specific boundaries about contact frequency and type. Remember, "disclosed" doesn't mean "unlimited access."

Impact on parenting 

Some worry that disclosure might confuse their child about who their "real" parents are. Research shows that openness actually strengthens family bonds by eliminating secrecy and building trust. Children are remarkably capable of understanding nuanced family relationships when explained appropriately.

Extended family reactions 

You might worry about how grandparents or other family members will respond to ongoing donor contact. While these concerns are valid, we've found that family members often become more comfortable with disclosure over time, especially when they understand the benefits to the child.

Creating your family agreement

Whatever level of disclosure you choose, you and the egg donor will negotiate and sign a contract that is a clear legal agreement that can outline:

• Communication expectations
• Boundaries for all parties
• Update frequency and type
• Social media guidelines
• Future contact possibilities
• Medical information sharing

Final thoughts

The disclosure decision should not be made lightly. While we advocate for openness based on research and feedback from the donor-conceived community, we respect each family's right to choose their path. Our commitment is to support you with resources, guidance, and respect for whatever level of disclosure you select.

It’s good to know if undisclosed or disclosed is a better fit for your family before you begin your egg donor search. As you browse donor profiles on our database, you can see the disclosure preferences of each donor. 

Remember that this decision, while important, is just one part of your family-building story. What matters most is the love, care, and thoughtfulness you bring to creating and nurturing your family.

Read more:

• Why We Don’t Believe in Anonymous Egg Donation
• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• The Parent-Child Relationship in Families Created Using Donor Eggs

For families built through egg donation, acknowledging and honoring the egg donor can be a meaningful way to celebrate your child's conception story. While every family's approach will be different, here are five thoughtful ways to recognize the important role your egg donor played in helping create your family.

1. Create a special keepsake

Consider creating a memory book or box dedicated to your family's egg donation story. This could include photos of your family, mementos from your fertility journey, and age-appropriate information about egg donation. As your child grows, this keepsake can serve as a tangible connection to their origins and a starting point for conversations about their unique beginnings.

2. Honor Donor Conception Awareness Day

Donor Conception Awareness Day, observed annually on April 27, provides a perfect opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate your family's unique egg donation journey. This day shines a spotlight on donor conception, raising awareness and offering support to families built through this special process. You might mark this day by:

• Having a family discussion about donor conception, tailored to your child's age and understanding
• Reading books about donor-conceived families together
• Participating in online or local events organized by donor conception support groups
• Sharing your family's story (if you're comfortable) on social media to raise awareness
• Making a small donation to an organization that supports donor-conceived families or fertility treatment access

By observing this day, you're not only honoring your egg donor but also helping your child foster a sense of connection with the broader community of donor-conceived individuals and their families.

3. Practice gratitude

Make expressing gratitude for your egg donor a regular part of your family's routine. This could be as simple as saying "thank you" to the donor during bedtime prayers (if you do those) or including them in what you're thankful for during holiday gatherings. This could be as simple as expressing thanks during bedtime rituals, sharing a moment of gratitude at the dinner table, or including them in what you're thankful for during holiday gatherings.

4. Support egg donation causes

Consider getting involved with organizations that support egg donation or fertility treatments. This could mean participating in awareness events, volunteering, or making donations. Involving your child in these activities as they get older can help them feel proud of their origins and understand the broader context of assisted reproduction.

5. Write letters to your donor

Even if you have an undisclosed donation arrangement, writing letters to your donor—whether or not you actually send them—can be a meaningful way to express your gratitude and reflect on your family's milestones. These letters can become part of your child's keepsake collection, offering them insight into your feelings about the donation as they grow older.

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By openly acknowledging and appreciating your egg donor's role, you're helping to foster a positive sense of identity for your child and reinforcing the love and intention that went into creating your family.

There’s no one way to approach honoring your egg donor. The most important thing is to find something that feels authentic and comfortable for your family. 

As you navigate this aspect of your family's story, we are here to support you. Whether you're just starting your egg donation journey or looking for ways to discuss donation with your growing child, we're here to provide resources and support every step of the way.

Read more:

• Nine Things To Know About Raising A Donor-Conceived Child
• Will My Donor Conceived Child Want To Meet Their Donor?
• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• How to Talk to Your Donor-Conceived Child About Their Conception Story

Genetic carrier screening is an important part of family building with assisted reproductive technologies (ART), particularly donor egg IVF.  It provides essential information about the genetic makeup of both donors and recipients (the person receiving the eggs), enabling them to make informed decisions about their family-building journey and increasing the chances of a healthy baby. 

Carrier screening helps assess the risk of passing on inherited genetic conditions to future offspring. It empowers intended parents to understand their risks and make proactive choices about their reproductive health. In this article, we’ll dive deeper into what carrier screening is, its significance in donor egg IVF, and the different options available.

What is carrier screening?

Carrier screening is a type of genetic testing that reveals whether an individual "carries" a gene linked to a particular genetic disorder. Being a carrier doesn't mean a person has the disease themselves, but they have the potential to pass the gene to their offspring. This type of screening originally emerged in the 1970s to prevent the transmission of certain diseases, focusing mainly on high-risk ethnic groups with known elevated chances of carrying specific disorders, such as Tay–Sachs disease in the Ashkenazi Jewish populations.¹

Over time, carrier screening has evolved and advanced. In 2010, expanded carrier screening (ECS) emerged as a more affordable and comprehensive option². This allows for testing hundreds of genes, not just the handful targeted in older methods. ECS is offered regardless of a person's ancestry or ethnicity, as it aims to identify carriers for a wider array of genetic conditions. The American College of Medical Genetics and Genomics (ACMG) now recommends a standardized panel for carrier screening, including a list of 113 conditions.³

Most carrier screening today focuses on recessive disorders. These conditions only manifest when a child inherits two copies of a mutated gene, one from each parent. If only one copy is inherited, the person is considered a carrier. Carriers typically don't experience any symptoms of the disorder, or might have very mild ones, and often remain unaware of their carrier status.⁶

ASRM recommendations

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) strongly recommends that all egg donors be screened for cystic fibrosis, spinal muscular atrophy, and conditions like thalassemia and sickle cell disease.⁴ Additionally, screening for fragile X syndrome is recommended for donors with a family history of related disorders, and may be considered for all donors regardless of their history. 

The ASRM also suggests that expanded carrier screening (ECS), which looks at a wider range of genetic conditions, should be considered, ideally using the same panel for both the egg donor and the intended parent.⁴ While this isn't always mandatory, it's the most effective way to assess potential risks to future children. These recommendations are meant to guide decision-making, not create rigid rules. You’ll want to talk to your fertility doctor about tailoring these recommendations to your specific situation.

How is carrier screening done? 

Genetic carrier screening for both egg donors and recipients typically involves a simple blood test or saliva sample. The lab then analyzes the DNA within the sample for specific gene variants or mutations that might increase the risk of certain genetic conditions. The results are usually ready within 3-4 weeks and are discussed with a genetic counselor and/or your fertility doctor.

What does a positive carrier screen mean?

A positive result means that the person tested carries one copy of a gene mutation associated with a specific condition. Research suggests that all individuals carry at least one genetic variant that could lead to a severe recessive childhood disease. Therefore, as expanded carrier screening panels test for a greater number of genes and associated conditions, the likelihood of a positive carrier screen also increases.⁷ 

Remember, being a carrier doesn't mean you have the condition yourself. However, if both you and the donor (or your partner in the case of autologous IVF) are carriers of the same recessive condition, there is a higher risk of your child inheriting the condition.

What does a negative carrier screen mean?

A negative result means that no mutations were detected for the conditions tested. While a negative carrier screening result is reassuring, it's important to understand it doesn't completely eliminate the risk of passing on a genetic condition. Current technology allows us to test for a wide range of known genetic mutations, but it's impossible to screen for every possible one.⁵

Are genetic carrier screens accurate?

While carrier screening is generally reliable, it's important to understand that, like any medical test, there is a small chance of receiving inaccurate results.⁶

• False negative: This occurs when the test indicates a negative result, suggesting the absence of a gene variant, even though the individual is actually a carrier for the condition.
• False positive: This happens when the test indicates a positive result, indicating the presence of a gene variant, even though the individual does not actually carry it.

While false-positive results can lead to anxiety and further testing, false-negative results can be more concerning as they may provide false reassurance about the risk of passing on a genetic condition. That being said, these tests are considered safe and reliable. 

How is carrier screening different from PGS testing?

If you plan to do preimplantation genetic screening (PGS) of embryos, do you also have to do carrier screening? And if you do carrier screening, do you still have to do PGS testing of embryos? It's important to understand that carrier screening and PGS are not the same thing:

• Carrier screening: This tests the egg donor's genes as well as the intended father’s (or sperm donor’s) genes to assess the risk of passing on certain genetic conditions. Your future child could inherit a condition if both parties carry the same recessive gene.
• PGS (also called PGT-A): This tests embryos created during IVF for chromosomal abnormalities. This can help identify embryos with the highest chance of leading to a healthy pregnancy.

While both carrier screening and PGS testing play important roles in IVF, they serve different purposes. Carrier screening identifies potential risks carried in the DNA of the intended mother (or egg donor) and intended father (or sperm donor), while PGS assesses the chromosomal health of embryos after they've been created. 

Most families choose to undergo both carrier screening and PGS. Carrier screening helps you understand if you or the potential donor carry recessive genes, which helps during the donor matching process. Most clinics would not recommend a recipient move forward with a particular donor if both the sperm source and the donor are carriers for the same gene. With Cofertility, we’d offer a free rematch in this scenario. PGS, on the other hand, ensures the embryos being transferred are chromosomally normal, increasing the chances of a successful pregnancy and reducing the risk of miscarriage.

Even if you have a normal carrier screen with no known genetic risks, eggs can still carry an incorrect number of chromosomes, a condition called aneuploidy. Aneuploidy increases with age and affects ~10–25% of eggs in women in their early 30s, and more than 50% of eggs from women over 40. This is why the use of donor eggs is so common for women over 40. 

Ultimately, the decision of whether to pursue either or both types of testing is up to you, best made in consultation with your fertility doctor and a genetic counselor. They can help you weigh the benefits and limitations of each test based on your individual circumstances and family history.

Why is carrier screening important in donor egg IVF?

Carrier screening is important when using donor eggs because it allows both the egg donor and the intended father (or sperm donor) to be tested for the same set of genetic conditions. If both the donor and the intended father (or sperm donor) are carriers for the same condition, the risk of passing that condition to their child increases significantly. By knowing this information beforehand, you and your doctor can make informed decisions about which donor to match with. 

What do different panels mean?

Carrier screening panels can vary in the number and types of conditions they test for. There are smaller panels that focus on common recessive disorders and larger, expanded carrier screening (ECS) panels that look at a broader range of conditions. Many clinics recommend donors complete a panel around 275 genes, but  there isn't one "right" panel for everyone.  Your fertility doctor will be able to help recommend a test that aligns with your individual risk factors and family history.

Do we need to use the same carrier screening test as the donor?

There are several genetic testing companies, including Natera, Fulgent, Myriad, and each has panels of varying sizes. When you’re working with a donor, the testing company doesn’t have to be the same, but you will want to make sure the panel looks at the same set of conditions. This ensures that you are both screened for the same things, allowing for accurate risk assessment. If you’ve already completed testing, you can share the panel you completed ahead of time to ensure that your donor is tested for the same genes.

What's the difference between carrier screening and genetic counseling?

Genetic counseling is a process where a trained healthcare professional, called a genetic counselor, guides individuals or families through complex information about genetic health. They provide support and education about how inherited conditions might affect them or their children, interpret genetic test results, and help them make informed decisions about their healthcare.

Carrier screening is best done in conjunction with genetic counseling. A genetic counselor can help you understand your results, discuss the implications, and navigate any decisions about family planning.

What is PGT-M and how does it differ from PGT-A?

PGT-M testing (Preimplantation Genetic Testing for Monogenic disorders) is a form of genetic testing used to screen embryos for specific inherited genetic conditions. When the sperm source and egg donor are known to be carriers of the same condition, this test can be helpful in identifying which embryos have the genetic mutation associated with that condition and which do not.

Much like the PGT-A testing mentioned above, PGT-M works by testing embryos prior to embryo transfer. A small biopsy is taken from the embryo, and its DNA is analyzed. The difference between the two is that PGT-A testing looks for chromosomal abnormalities while PGT-M testing looks for the presence of the specific genetic mutation associated with the condition in question. 

While PGT-M provides invaluable information, it’s important to note that it only tests for specific known mutations. It cannot detect all genetic conditions, nor does it guarantee that a child will be free from all forms of genetic disease. Despite this, PGT-M testing can help in making informed decisions about embryo selection in preparation for embryo transfer.

The bottom line

Carrier screening is an important tool in the donor egg IVF journey, offering a window into the genetic health of both donors and recipients. By proactively understanding your genetic risks, you gain the power to make informed decisions about your family-building options. While a positive result may seem daunting, it doesn't automatically rule out certain paths. With guidance from your doctor and a genetic counselor, you can explore various possibilities to ensure the best possible outcome for your future child.

Remember, genetic carrier screening is not about eliminating all risk, as no test is perfect. It's about empowering you with knowledge and enabling you to navigate this process with more confidence. If you're considering egg donation, don't hesitate to talk to your fertility doctor about carrier screening. It's an important step towards building a healthy and happy family.

References

1. Kraft, S.A., Duenas, D., Wilfond, B.S. et al. The evolving landscape of expanded carrier screening: challenges and opportunities. Genet Med 21, 790–797 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41436-018-0273-4
2. Srinivasan BS, Evans EA, Flannick J, et al. A universal carrier test for the long tail of Mendelian disease. Reprod Biomed Online. 2010;21(4):537-551. doi:10.1016/j.rbmo.2010.05.012
3. Crockin S, Gibbons W. Genetic carrier screening in donors: a challenging frontier. F S Rep. 2023;4(1):20-21. Published 2023 Feb 8. doi:10.1016/j.xfre.2023.02.003
4. ASRM. “Guidance regarding gamete and embryo donation”.  2021. URL.
5. CDC. “Genetic Testing”. 2022. URL. 
6. ACOG. “Carrier Screening”. 2022. URL. 
7. Payne MR, Skytte AB, Harper JC. The use of expanded carrier screening of gamete donors. Hum Reprod. 2021;36(6):1702-1710. doi:10.1093/humrep/deab067

Going through fertility treatments to build your family is hard enough, deciding when it’s time to move onto donor eggs can feel impossible. It’s not just the genetic tie that you might be thinking about, but also the time, money, and commitment. 

How many attempts with your own eggs are reasonable before considering alternative options like donor eggs? While there's no single right answer, this guide will help you confidently make your decision.

First consideration: your age

Understanding the impact of age on fertility is helpful. Knowing the chances of IVF success with and without IVF can help you predict the chances of it working in either scenario.  

Females are born with a finite number of eggs, and both the quantity and quality of those eggs diminish over time. This decline in fertility accelerates significantly after the age of 35. According to the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART), the average live birth rate per IVF cycle using a woman's own eggs is around 53% for women under 35, but falls to just 4% for women over 42. These statistics highlight the challenges associated with using your own eggs at an older age.

If you have already spent a lot of time, effort, and money on failed IVF, you may be eager to move forward with donor eggs and have a baby ASAP. The good news is that the chances of success with donor eggs has more to do with the age of the donor than the age of the mother (or gestational carrier). 

The time to match with a donor can be just days (we have hundreds of pre-qualified donors ready to match with your family). After that, a donor cycle with fresh eggs can take 60-90 days from match to completion of the cycle. Frozen eggs can be quicker, but it sometimes means you can’t meet the donor beforehand.  

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As you can see from the SART data above, the chances of getting pregnant per cycle is much higher with donor eggs and the gap increases with age of the patient. 

Read Dr. Meera Shah’s article Donor Egg Success Rates: a Breakdown.

Second consideration: your ovarian reserve

Your fertility doctor will likely perform a series of tests to assess your ovarian reserve – the remaining supply of eggs in your ovaries.  These tests provide a more personalized estimate of your chances of success using your own eggs. Key tests include:

• Follicle-Stimulating Hormone (FSH): A high FSH level, particularly on day 3 of your menstrual cycle, can indicate diminished ovarian reserve.
• Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH): A low AMH level suggests a lower egg count and may signify reduced responsiveness to fertility medications.
• Antral Follicle Count (AFC): Performed via ultrasound, this test counts the number of small, developing follicles in your ovaries. A lower count could indicate a lower ovarian reserve.

These hormone tests will give you and your doctor a good idea of your chances of success. In fact, your chances of success with IVF are even more correlated with your AMH than your age. 

Third consideration: the emotional impact of unsuccessful attempts

The journey of infertility often comes with significant emotional burdens. Experiencing multiple unsuccessful attempts with your own eggs can lead to disappointment, frustration, anxiety, and even depression. It's super important to prioritize your mental health during this process. Seek support from therapists specializing in infertility, join support groups, or lean on loved ones for emotional strength.

Think about how many failed attempts using your own eggs you are willing to endure before moving on. And keep in mind, donor eggs may increase your chances of success but they aren’t a guarantee. 

Fourth consideration: finances

Unfortunately, fertility treatments can be costly, and using donor eggs will likely increase those expenses. Before making decisions, have a realistic understanding of your financial resources.  Explore options like insurance coverage, financing plans, or grants that might help offset treatment costs.

Read more in How to Finance Your Infertility or Egg Donation Journey

Fifth consideration: time

Time is a precious factor in the fertility journey, especially as you grow older.  Every month, every cycle, counts. If you've experienced multiple unsuccessful IVF attempts with your own eggs, the time it takes to pursue additional cycles may significantly impact your chances of achieving a successful pregnancy.  And, as you age, it increases the likelihood of a higher risk pregnancy. It's important to consider your desired timeline for building a family and how pursuing further IVF with your own eggs may align with those goals.

When should I switch to donor eggs?

While there's no hard-and-fast rule, your doctor may suggest donor egg IVF if you meet some of these criteria:

• Age over 42: Success rates with own eggs decline sharply after 42, and donor eggs offer a significantly higher chance of pregnancy.
• Diminished ovarian reserve: Test results indicating low ovarian reserve may encourage a quicker transition to donor eggs to increase your chances of success, especially if you’re over age 40.
• Multiple failed cycles or pregnancy losses: After several unsuccessful attempts with your own eggs, it may be time to explore other options to avoid further emotional and financial strain.
• Genetic factors: If you are a carrier of a genetic condition, using donor eggs can minimize the risk of passing it on to your child.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue with IVF using your own eggs or transition to donor eggs is deeply personal. There is no right or wrong choice.  The best way to navigate this decision is through open communication with a trusted fertility doctor, a counselor, fertility coach, or even a religious leader if your faith plays a significant role in your family planning decisions. They can assess your individual circumstances, discuss the pros and cons in greater detail, and help you make a decision that aligns with your goals and values.

Remember: There is no shame in using donor eggs. It's a testament to your unwavering desire to build a family. Choosing donor eggs empowers you to take control of your fertility journey and create the family you've always dreamed of.

Finding your path to parenthood

The journey to parenthood can take many unexpected turns. While the desire for a biological connection is understandable, remember that the love you have for your future child transcends genetics.  If you decide to move forward with donor eggs, you're making a powerful choice based on love, commitment, and your unwavering determination to build a family.

Donor eggs offer a path to parenthood that might have seemed impossible before. Don't hesitate to explore this option with open-mindedness and a willingness to learn.  Connect with agencies like ours that specialize in egg donation, we can guide you through the process, address your concerns, and provide the support you need throughout your journey.

You are not alone. Communities, support groups, and mental health professionals specializing in infertility can offer invaluable support and understanding.

Remember: Building a family is guided by love. Whether through your own eggs or through the generosity of a donor, you are embarking on a beautiful journey toward fulfilling a profound desire.

Read more:

• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• Does Using Donor Eggs Decrease the Chance of Miscarriage?
• Six Reasons Why Egg Sharing is a Better Egg Donation Model for Intended Parents

In the world of reproductive medicine, the boundaries of what's possible are constantly being pushed further by advances in technology and science. For many, the journey to parenthood is straightforward, but for others, it's a path marked by challenges and the need for medical intervention. As a fertility doctor who has worked with countless patients over the years, I understand the desire to build a family, regardless of the obstacles that may stand in the way. 

Among these challenges, menopause has traditionally been seen as a definitive end to a woman's fertility. In this article, I’ll answer the question, can a menopausal woman get pregnant with donor eggs? 

Understanding menopause and fertility

Menopause is a natural biological process marking the end of a woman's reproductive years, characterized by the cessation of menstrual cycles for twelve consecutive months. This transition typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 but can happen earlier or later. Menopause signifies the depletion of ovarian follicles and a significant decline in estrogen and progesterone levels, hormones crucial for ovulation and pregnancy.

The question of fertility during or after menopause is complex. Naturally, menopause signifies the end of a woman's ability to conceive using her own eggs. However, this does not mean the end of her capacity to carry a pregnancy to term. The uterus, if healthy, can still support a pregnancy with the help of hormonal support, regardless of the woman's age or menopausal status.

Can you get pregnant with donor eggs after menopause?

Donor egg IVF is a common path for those who cannot conceive using their own eggs. This process involves using eggs donated by a younger woman (if you work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, the donor donates half of the eggs retrieved and keeps the other half for her own future use), which are then fertilized with sperm (from a partner or a sperm donor) in a laboratory setting. The resulting embryos are transferred to the recipient's uterus.

For menopausal women, donor egg IVF offers a viable path to pregnancy. The critical factor is then the ability of the uterus to maintain a pregnancy. Before the procedure, the recipient undergoes hormonal treatment to prepare the uterus for implantation, mimicking the hormonal conditions of a natural pregnancy. 

All pregnancies carry risks, and pregnancy over 45 is no exception. One small study followed 45 healthy mothers ages 50-63 who used donor eggs, and found that 35% experienced pregnancy-related hypertension (high blood pressure), 20% experienced gestational diabetes, and 78% had a cesarean section. It is important to undergo a consultation with your OBGYN or a high-risk specialist to ensure pregnancy is safe. For those who cannot safely or healthfully carry a pregnancy, surrogacy is also an option.

Read more in: What Matters More: The Age of My Egg Donor, or of Who is Carrying The Pregnancy?

It’s important to remember that your age when you (or your gestational carrier) get pregnant is not as important as the age of the eggs. That means your chances of success getting pregnant, no matter your age now, is better with younger eggs. But how do you get younger eggs? For some lucky women, they can use eggs they froze years ago. But for most of us, getting younger eggs means turning to egg donation. 

Is there an age limit for IVF with donor eggs?

Technically, there is no age limit (legal or otherwise) in the United States for pursuing IVF with or without donor eggs.  But ASRM discourages IVF for women older than 55, and some clinics set their own age limits for patients they will treat. 

For women over 45 years old, ASRM advises:

• “Comprehensive” medical testing for cardiovascular and metabolic fitness to ensure the safety of the mother and baby during pregnancy 
• Psychosocial evaluation to determine if support is in place to raise a child to adulthood
• Counseling patients on potential increased medical risks related to pregnancy

For families using donor eggs and a gestational carrier, ASRM would advise that the family undergo psychological evaluation to ensure the parents are equipped to raise the child at an older-than-average age. 

Navigating the journey with Cofertility

At Cofertility, we've embraced a unique egg sharing model that empowers donors and helps families find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily. We understand the multitude of questions and concerns that come with considering donor egg IVF, from the screening process for donors to the potential outcomes of the IVF cycle.

Our approach is rooted in compassion and understanding, acknowledging the emotional and financial investment involved in fertility treatments. That’s why we've designed the most parent-friendly Baby Guarantee in the market, aiming to alleviate some of the financial stress and uncertainty that can accompany this journey. Our goal is to provide you with the care and support we would want for our own families, guiding you through every step of the process.

Addressing concerns and providing support

We know that considering donor eggs, especially during or after menopause, is a significant decision. Concerns about the donor's health and the success rate of the procedure are common. Our rigorous screening process ensures that all donors meet stringent health criteria. Additionally, advancements in reproductive technology have significantly improved the success rates of donor egg IVF, offering encouraging news for those who choose this path.

The decision to pursue pregnancy through donor eggs is deeply personal and involves careful consideration of many factors, including physical, emotional, and financial aspects. At Cofertility, we are here to provide information, support, and guidance, helping you navigate these considerations and make informed decisions about your fertility journey.

Summing it up

The question of whether a menopausal woman can get pregnant with donor eggs is met with a hopeful yes, thanks to the remarkable advancements in reproductive medicine. At Cofertility, we stand at the forefront of these innovations, committed to serving all families with a vision of inclusivity and support. Our unique egg sharing model and comprehensive care approach aim to set a new standard for excellence in the field, offering a beacon of hope for those dreaming of building their family. As we continue to push the boundaries of what's possible in fertility treatment, we promise to provide the support, care, and innovation needed to turn those dreams into reality.

Read more

• How to Talk to Your Doctor About Working with Cofertility
• I'm a Fertility Psychologist. Here's What I Want You to Know About Growing Your Family Through Egg Donation
• Am I Too Old to Become a Parent?
• What You Should Know About Getting Pregnant with Donor Eggs in Your 40s and 50s

As someone who has been working as a Psychologist in the field of fertility for many years, egg donation is a common topic of conversation that I have with my clients. Many who come to see me are working with egg donors and they express the high level of stress they feel and want to learn how to manage all the emotional challenges involved in seeking and working with an egg donor.

Understanding the stress factors in egg donation

Making the decision to work with an egg donor to start your family is a major life decision. A major life decision that can cause a lot of stress. Stress due to uncertainty, financial costs, failure…. the list goes on. 

Stress is your body’s response to something you perceive to be difficult. Your body responds to this by going into fight or flight. Meaning your body is ready to do what it needs to feel safe again. Everyone experiences stress differently. It may cause you to experience physical, emotional, or mental distress or pressure. But one thing is common, the feeling of overwhelm. It can just feel like too much.  Some start to feel emotionally detached and even start to feel numb to the whole process. On the other end of the spectrum, some may become overly hyper-vigilant. Obsessively checking their emails from their clinic or wanting every single piece of information to ensure an informed decision. Stress can also show up as irritability, heart palpitations or shortness of breath, and even panic attacks. 

All of this is normal. Your body and mind are doing what they think is right to protect you from harm. But there are ways you can cope with stress.

Setting realistic expectations

When potential intended parents tell me they are stressed out about working with an egg donor, inevitably we discover that they have very unrealistic expectations about timelines and outcomes. The thing is, even the best laid plans can go awry and this is especially true with third-party reproduction. Think about it, there are a minimum of 10 people involved with one egg donation cycle. The chance of all 10 being synced up at the same time doesn't always happen. Being realistic means being flexible and adaptable. Knowing that this journey is not a linear progression. There will be delays, cancellations, and obstacles. These things are given. Those rigid expectations need to be loosened up.

Emotional preparedness and support

Having a solid support network can help build resilience and help manage stress. One of the best ways to be prepared is to prepare your network of friends and family. Many keep this journey to themselves for a myriad of reasons and that is fair. At the same time knowing that you can lean on someone can alleviate some stress. Communicate what it is that you need from them and allow them to help.

Support groups that focus on egg donation can be a shining star, especially in times of darkness. You can find people that are going through similar things and can understand how you are feeling. These are great places to learn coping skills that have worked for others in your same situation. 

Staying informed and making informed decisions

You cannot underestimate the power of information. Yet, this is also one area that also causes extreme stress. Yes, please understand the egg donation process thoroughly. But you do not need to understand it at the same level as your REI or embryologist. Take that burden off your shoulders and put trust into your team. Understand the basics, ask questions, read reputable journals if you wish, but once you have chosen your team, trust them and let them do their job. 

Stress-reduction techniques

• Mediation and mindfulness. These are definitely two buzzwords we hear all the time in popular literature. But honestly, they aren’t for everyone and contrary to popular belief they don’t necessarily reduce stress. In fact, some research shows that they can increase stress. This is because you are so focused on your thoughts or physical sensations that your stress increases. If you find these tools to be beneficial then by all means go for it.

• Organize your time. If you know you only have 15 minutes to get to your appointment before you need to get back to work, then don’t schedule your appointment for that time. Don’t schedule appointments back-to-back either. Give yourself some breathing room. Many times parents are sitting in my therapy room, staring at the clock because they need to be at their doctor's appointment so they can’t focus on anything, only increasing their stress. 

• Make a list. Write down all the things that you need to do. Organize them in order of importance. 
• Set easy to reach goals. Setting smaller, more achievable goals can help us feel more satisfied and in control. For example instead of: go to the gym 5 days a week for 1 hour. Write: go to the gym on Monday at 3pm and ride the stationary bike for 20 minutes. 
• Be honest. Things that seemed easy and no big deal before you started this journey can feel a lot more difficult. That is because they are more difficult. You have a lot on your mind and a lot going on. So, If you can’t go to that birthday dinner after your blood tests, then don’t go. If you take on too much during this time, you will feel even more stressed. 

Summing it up

While you are seeking an egg donor just expect that you will feel stressed, overwhelmed, and tired. Now is the time for self-compassion, patience and self-care. Lean on your people, take a break and be kind to yourself. 

Read more:

• Six Reasons Why Egg Sharing is a Better Egg Donation Model for Intended Parents
• Coming to Terms with Using Donor Eggs
• My Doctor Suggested Using Donor Eggs. Now What?
• Building Your Family Through Egg Donation After Infertility: Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster

Thanks to scientific advances in the fertility industry, egg donation has increased tremendously over the past several decades. The option of working with an egg donor provides hope for those who otherwise would not be able to build a family. 

If you decide to work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, you’ll know the donor went through a rigorous process. Our team screens thousands of donors each year through a multi-step process to ensure each person is qualified and prepared to become an egg donor, going above and beyond FDA and ASRM-recommended screening guidelines. 

In this article, I’ll share a little more about this process. 

The importance of a thorough egg donor vetting process

To optimize safety and outcomes, donors go through a rigorous vetting process. This comprehensive donor screening occurs to ensure proper informed consent from the donor and to ensure there are no contraindications to donating. Because of potential long-term medical and psychological consequences to donating one’s DNA, the vetting process needs to be very thorough.

How are egg donors screened?

Application & medical screening

Donors apply to our program with an in-depth application that includes questions about their personal and family medical history, lifestyle, gynecological background, education and professional background, and other areas. This application can take over an hour to complete. Donors complete the family medical history with their own medical history in mind, as well as first and second degree relatives (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and grandparents).

Our clinical operations team reviews each application closely to evaluate eligibility based on personal and family medical history. These eligibility guidelines come from the FDA and ASRM guidelines for egg donation, as well as from our team of medical advisors. Donors who are approved are healthy and do not have a history of heritable diseases. Many donors don’t get through this initial process, whether that be because their personal and/or family history makes them ineligible or because they do not have all of the information that is required.

Interview

Once the prospective egg donor has completed the initial application and has passed all the basic requirements, we meet with them personally. During this meeting, donors get a chance to ask questions and learn more about egg donation and the staff gets a chance to get to know the donor, understand her reasoning to donate and to make certain she fully understands short term and long term consequences related to their donation. 

Meeting 1:1 with every donor to get at the core of who she is as a person— her values, her goals, her personality— allows us to provide you with the most thoughtful match possible. 

AMH (ovarian reserve) test

An AMH test measures the amount of anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) in your blood. AMH is produced by the cells inside the follicles -  tiny fluid-filled sacs in the ovary that contain and release eggs. AMH levels can tell us the number of eggs a woman has. This is also known as the ovarian reserve. It is important to have this number for egg donation because this test may tell us how well a woman might respond to injectable fertility drugs that will be used during the donation.  

Physical medical exam

After a match and typically around day 3 of the donor’s menstrual cycle, a physical medical exam will be conducted. During this exam a pelvic ultrasound will assess the pelvic anatomy, including the ovaries. The antral follicle count will look at the number of egg-containing follicles developing in the ovaries. These results can tell even more information about the ovarian reserve.

Psychological screening

When cleared by the medical staff a psychological assessment will take place. This is a two to four-hour assessment that will address the moral, ethical, emotional, and social issues related to egg donation. The assessment also includes a standardized and empirically validated test designed to screen mental and behavioral disorders. This assessment looks to ascertain donor suitability for this elective process. To make certain that there are no psychological contraindications for egg donation and that the potential egg donor will be able to fulfill her responsibilities for the cycle, such as following medical protocols. 

Genetic testing

Every donor also undergoes genetic testing. Genetic screening may include a genetic karyotype as well as screening for more common diseases, including Tay-Sachs disease, Canavan disease, sickle cell anemia, α-Thalassemia, β-Thalassemia, and cystic fibrosis. Depending on the donor’s ethnic background and family history, there may be more genetic screening. 

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

One of the first things a woman may think about after learning that an egg donor is required in order to have a child, is the worry of attachment. Specifically, will I have issues attaching to my baby because we are not genetically related? The reason for this train of thought may stem from common misconceptions or stereotypes that all mother’s immediately bond and connect with their child and that a genetic relationship is required for that attachment to even take place.  

Social media definitely loves to show that “perfect” moment after a woman gives birth where the mother looks lovingly into her healthy child’s perfect round face - with her hair, makeup and lighting fully on point - proclaiming this to be her greatest love of all. But rarely do we get to peek at what is happening behind the curtain. 

Whether an egg donor is needed to create a baby or not, many parents do not immediately connect, attach or bond with their baby. This lack of attachment has nothing to do with a lack of genetic connection, but everything to do with this new found responsibility, the shock of a new identity and purpose, hormones, lack of family support, lack of sleep, and just trying to survive those first few months. The purpose of this article is to examine attachment between mother’s and their donor conceived babies and to give a better understanding of attachment and how it works. 

Attachment theory and parent-child bonding

Psychologist John Bowlby described attachment as the emotional connection between an infant and their primary caregiver. The parent-child attachment lays the foundation for the child's life choices, overall behavior, and the strength of the child’s social, physical, mental, and emotional health. According to Bowlby, attachment develops  through interactions between infant and caregiver that evolves and grows deeper over time. This attachment typically occurs when a child is about six months old. 

Research and findings: attachment in donor egg families

Evidence from the attachment literature focuses on the importance of parental responsiveness as to what differentiates the type of attachment formed between parent and child - not whether they are genetically related. From the perspective of attachment theory, what is important for secure attachment to occur is not genetics but the consistency, availability and love that is shown to the child by the caregiver. It is parental responsiveness, rather than biological relatedness, that is considered to be important for the development of secure attachment relationships between a parent and a child. Meaning genetics does not play a role in secure attachment. 

It is parental responsiveness, rather than biological relatedness, that is considered to be important for the development of secure attachment relationships between a parent and a child.

Further insights from the adoption literature suggest that overall, parents who adopted their children reported few differences in the attachment behaviors between them and their adopted children versus parents and non-adopted children. Further adopted children and adolescents did not report feeling less secure in their relationships with their parents compared to non-adopted children. 

It appears that the caregivers' behaviors played a more important role when it comes to attachment. For example, Bowlby found that children whose parents were sensitive and responsive were likely to view themselves as loveable and have a positive sense of self. Whereas children whose parents were emotionally unavailable or rejecting, were more likely to develop a lack of self-worth. 

So the question of “will I have attachment issues to my baby because we are not related?” is not the question to ask, rather, “am I ready to be emotionally available to a child? Am I ready to be a parent?”

Existing research on attachment in families with donor egg children found that families with no genetic link between mother and the child showed more positive outcomes than families where the mother was genetically related to the child. The authors posed the possible explanation that perhaps this was true because these parents took the extra steps required to intentionally choose to raise a child who was not genetically related to them. Since that strong desire for parenthood was more important to them than genetic relatedness and since they had to move mountains to become parents, they found parenting to be more satisfying than those who become parents through “traditional routes.” Remember, this is just a hypothesis and it is definitely not implying that genetically related parents love their children less than parents not genetically related to their children. It could mean that the parents using donor eggs were perhaps more prepared - as they may have spent years planning for this baby. And finally having that dream realized makes them not take having this baby for granted. 

What does genetics have to do with attachment? 

Not much. A longitudinal study compared 46 donor insemination families and 48 egg donation families, with 68 natural conception families on the child’s second birthday. The results showed gamete donation mothers to have more joy towards parenting and more positive maternal feelings towards their child by the time the child had reached two years of age. Adding further evidence to the growing body of literature that genetics do not play a role in  the development of a positive relationship between a gamete conceived child and its parent. 

Social perceptions and stigmas

Societal views on donor egg conception vary with differing social perceptions and stigmas. Depending on your culture, your religion, your sexual orientation, your age, your belief system, your fertility journey, your level of education and understanding of gamete donation, and even your socio-economic status, your views on egg donation will be very different.  So depending on all those different variables society's views may potentially impact a mother-child relationship in a negative or positive manner. 

It seems as though everyone has an opinion on how we should raise our children from what they should eat, watch on television, ipad or no ipad, which school they should attend, and how to get that constipation resolved. It really never ends. It is very easy to say “don’t let people’s opinions impact you and your relationship with your child.” But it is never that easy, is it? 

We have evolutionarily evolved to want to be a part of a tribe, a village if you will. And their opinion matters. Because guess what? If you fell out of favor with your tribe thousands of years ago, you wouldn’t be able to survive. Things are a little bit different today than our caveman times but people’s opinions and views of how we live our life, can still negatively impact us. This is where the role of a mental health professional and support groups can be of tremendous benefit. 

Counseling and support

A healthy attachment style starts from the day you take your first breath. But what if you did not have a healthy secure attachment with your own parents? How is that now informing your relationship with your child? What if you don’t have a positive sense of self? What if you don’t  feel cared for by others? What if you don’t have a sense of closeness with other people? These are just some possible indicators of not having had a secure attachment to your own caregivers. Working with a therapist to work on your own attachment issues can really inform how you end up attaching to your own children, regardless if they are genetically related to you or not. 

Working with a mental health professional, you can learn how to self regulate your emotions, build your self-esteem, learn how to effectively communicate your needs, and how to set boundaries. Learning some of these skills by working with a mental health professional can be an important way for you to learn how to become more self-aware, how to stop self-sabotage and even how to get over that imposter syndrome you may be feeling when it comes to parenting. And learn how to deepen and securely attach to those you love. 

Summing it up

To sum it up, do moms of donor egg babies have attachment issues? Sometimes. But then again so do most parents, regardless if they are genetically related to their child or not. Attachment can take time, it doesn’t happen overnight. If you don’t immediately fall in love with your baby the second you lay your eyes on them, you are not alone. Every single relationship in this world takes time. Learn to cut out the outside noise, learn to listen to your own voice, and just go with what feels right.

Read more:

• Nature vs. Nurture: What Parents Via Egg Donation Need to Know
• Five Parents Share What They Wish They Had Known Before Pursuing Donor Eggs
• How Do I Navigate Telling Others My Child Is Donor Conceived?
• The Parent-Child Relationship in Families Created Using Egg Donation

You already know how difficult it can be to select the right egg donor match for your family. That is why once you have found a potential match, meeting her (either in person, over video, or on a call), can be a great way to finalize and feel confident about your decision. 

Since starting work in this field as a Fertility Psychologist in 2011, I have facilitated many egg donor match meetings. Sometimes the first few minutes are a little awkward and uncomfortable. That is completely normal. That is why having a facilitator can be great as they can help guide the conversation and keep it moving. 

Below are some questions you can ask during your meeting to get to know your egg donor. When preparing for your meeting, it can be a good idea to write down your questions and also write down hers. These can be placed in your child’s book (if you are making one). 

Also, remember, she will likely ask you questions as well. So think about what you want the egg donor to know about you and your family. 

10 questions to ask when meeting your potential egg donor

1. When did you first learn about egg donation and why did you decide to donate?
   Why are you donating to us? Understanding her reasons for wanting to donate can give you an inside look at her thought process, and understanding why she wants to donate to your family, can create a stronger bond and understanding between you.
2. Who will be your primary support person during the medical procedure? Make sure she has a support system during the process, and ask how you can help. 
3. Have you told your family? Not everyone wants to tell their family and friends, and that’s okay. 
4. If she has donated before, it is okay to ask her questions related to previous donations such as: What went well? What do you wish could have been different? 
5. What are your thoughts about the type of relationship you want to have with our family? Depending on your egg donation agreement, the relationship you have with the egg donor can be anywhere on the spectrum, from no involvement at all to attending birthday parties. There really is no right or wrong. It all just depends on what works best for you, your donor and your respective families. It is also important to keep in mind that like all relationships, this one too will evolve. Some end up drifting apart and others become closer over time. Again, there is no right or wrong here. 
6. Although questions about medical / family medical history are already in their profile, you can still use the time to ask them to clarify anything.
7. Questions about education and career: what are you studying? What about that interests you? What are your career goals? 
8. What do you love to do when not working or going to school?
9. Tell me about your typical day, how does it look?
10. What are your expectations of us during this process? How can we help make this process as smooth as possible?

When asking questions, be respectful and kind, and if you feel she is getting uncomfortable, move on to the next question. 

The emotional and relational dynamics of meeting your egg donor

It is normal to feel all sorts of emotions when meeting with a potential egg donor— from gratitude to being completely nervous. So be prepared to feel. Just remind yourself why you are doing this. Typically at the end of a meeting, most parents and egg donors are even more ready and excited to move forward.   

Meeting your egg donor in-person or virtually is a great way to finalize your decision to use egg donation to grow your family. Bringing that profile to life helps to create a more personal connection with your donor.  

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg-sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

Read more:

• Should I Meet My Potential Egg Donor?
• Should I Pick an Egg Donor Who Looks Like Me?
• 10 Facts You Need To Know About Using Donor Eggs
• Five Parents Share What They Wish They Knew Before Using Donor Eggs

If you are a single cis male or in a same-sex male relationship, you will need a gestational carrier to carry and deliver your baby along with donor eggs to create embryos. A fertility psychologist can work with you to discuss the implications of becoming parents, how to talk to your child about their conception and to others around you about your journey. They can also walk you through your feelings, fears, and educate you about the process of becoming parents through third party reproduction. 

The decision-making process

The decision-making process of using donor eggs as a gay couple is a little different than heterosexual couples needing to use donor eggs. One is deciding who will provide the sperm. If both are planning on being biologically related, then you need to decide whose sperm will be used first. You both have to agree upon a donor, a carrier and who will be called what (e.g. I will be dad and you will be papa)

Read more in Gay Men Having Babies: Four Genetic Options with Donor Eggs 

Emotional and psychological considerations

The emotional and psychological considerations involved in using donor eggs as a gay couple include who will provide the sperm or should you have twins? What if it works for one partner but not the other? What if the cycle does not work the first time? How many times will you try? How and when to tell your child about their conception story? Then there is the worry about the donor, such as how much, if any, contact you will have with her now and in the future. What if the donor or your child wants a deeper relationship, does the donor have any rights over your baby?

This process can be stressful and it can create pressure on your relationship as well. Especially because it can be costly and it can be time consuming. And sometimes a gestational carrier backs out or a donor you want is not available.  It is vital for you to always communicate, openly, honestly and thoroughly. 

The impact on the child not having a mother

At some point, your child will start asking questions about not having a mother and about how they were conceived. This is natural especially once the child starts school and sees that some children have mothers.  You and your partner should discuss how and when you will tell your child about their donor. You may also want to speak with family and friends about what terminology you would like them to use as well (for example, how will the donor be referred?)

Two dads, no mom, and the kids are all right

A report, published by the American Academy of Pediatrics states that three decades of research concur that kids of gay parents are doing just fine. “Many studies have demonstrated that children’s well-being is affected much more by their relationships with their parents, their parents’ sense of competence and security, and the presence of social and economic support for the family than by the gender or the sexual orientation of their parents,”

Legal considerations

All intended parents should have an egg donor contract. The contract should state that the egg donor is waiving her parental rights and that all children born from her donated eggs will be the intended parents’ children. The egg donor contract can also spell out payments, and  terms of any potential future relationship between the donor and your child. For example, having an option for allowing future contact with the donor once the child reaches a certain age. If you work with Cofertility to match with an egg donor, we will help you with this part.

You should also understand the laws where you live regarding same sex parents, egg donation and surrogacy. For example, some countries will recognize both of you as legal parents of the child, while other countries might not. Some states in the U.S. do not allow single men or gay couples to become parents - meaning you may have to look outside of where you live. 

Read more in Navigating the Legal Landscape: A Guide to Egg Donation & Surrogacy Laws for Gay Dads

Navigating the medical process

Typically gay men need more education and counseling about the female reproductive system than heterosexual couples undergoing donor egg IVF. So you will need to brush up on female anatomy and biology so you have a better understanding of the entire process.  When selecting a fertility clinic, you want to make sure that it is LGBTQ+ friendly and understands the unique needs of gay fathers.  

Next will be selecting your donor. Before you start searching for your donor, decide on some basic characteristics that you would like to have in your donor. This may include things like physical appearance, education level, athletic or musical ability. Perhaps someone of a certain culture or religion is of importance. Remember, you will never find anyone that meets your requirements 100%. So have your list and then divide it into your must have and nice to haves. 

Once your donor has completed all the necessary screening and legal contracts, the egg donor will receive hormone medications to stimulate her ovaries to produce multiple eggs. A fertility doctor will retrieve the donor’s eggs once they are mature. These eggs, or oocytes, can then be fertilized using your sperm and transferred to your carrier or frozen (as embryos) for future use.

If you are wanting each partner to have a biologically related child, will want to either split the eggs that are retrieved so you both get half or you may want to do more than once cycle to ensure each partner has enough eggs to create enough viable embryos. 

For same-sex male couples, to have a biological baby was once just a dream, now it is a reality. Medical science is giving people the chance to find their happiness by having a family of their own. It can be a long, stressful process but know that Cofertility will be by your side, giving you the support you need while navigating this new path to parenthood. 

Read more:

• Five Helpful Questions Gay Dads Should Answer Before Starting a Family
• LGBTQ+ Family-Building Resources
• Which Should I Find First: An Egg Donor or a Surrogate?
• Surrogacy Questions Gay Dads Should be Asking
• The Gay Dad's Guide to Egg Donation

Even if you have accepted your infertility diagnosis and have accepted the idea of using donor eggs to start your family, others around you may still question you and your decision. Sometimes it comes in the form of nobody talking about it and sometimes the pendulum swings in the other direction and you may hear nosy questions such as:

• "Why couldn't you have your own child?"
• "Doesn't it bother you that your child won't be biologically related to you?"
• "Did you have trouble getting pregnant?"
• "Are you worried your child won't look like you?"
• "Did you have to spend a lot of money on this process?"
• "Isn't it weird to use someone else's eggs?"
• "Did you have to convince your partner to do this?"
• “Are you worried one day the kids will want to meet their donor?”

So, what are some things you can say to those “well meaning” but nosy questions?

Set boundaries

It's important to set boundaries with those who may be asking personal questions. You can politely decline to answer by saying that it is a private matter or that you prefer not to discuss it. Setting boundaries isn’t always easy.  But boundaries are important if you want to feel safe and protected. It is okay if the other party feels offended, but healthy boundary setting doesn’t mean you’re being hurtful. The boundaries you set can allow you to build a better, more respectful, relationship because they help establish a precedent for what you both expect from each other. 

Educate 

Even though it may seem obvious to you, some people really do not understand the process of using donor eggs and may be asking out of curiosity. Consider sharing educational resources or information about the process to help them understand better.

Be honest

If you are comfortable sharing, you can be honest about why you chose to use donor eggs. Whether it was due to fertility issues or personal preference, sharing your story can help to normalize the process and reduce stigma and in turn helps educate others around you.

Redirect the conversation

If you don't want to discuss your own experience (which is totally okay), redirect the conversation to a more general topic. You could say, "I appreciate your interest, but I prefer to keep my personal life private. Can we talk about something else?"

Seek support

Coping with nosy questions about using donor eggs can be emotionally challenging. Consider seeking support from a therapist, support group, or other individuals who have gone through a similar experience.

The bottom line

Some questions may come across as tasteless and hurtful. Yes, most of this stems from a lack of knowledge about egg donation, but some of it also comes from a place of genuine curiosity and wanting to understand. At the end of the day, this is your journey and your path. You get to decide who, when and how much information you share.  

If you’re considering using donor eggs to grow your family, oftentimes, the associated costs can be a significant financial burden. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the question of whether Health Savings Accounts (HSAs) and Flexible Spending Accounts (FSAs) can be utilized to pay for donor eggs. We also explore other financing options available to individuals seeking fertility treatments. 

The TLDR: you can use your HSA or FSA towards some (but not all) expenses related to donor egg cycles, and if you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, you may unfortunately face a harder time getting reimbursed, given what the IRS defines as “medical necessary”. 

Let’s dive into the details. 

How HSAs and FSAs work

First, it’s important to have a fundamental understanding of how HSAs and FSAs work. These are both valuable financial tools that allow you to allocate pre-tax dollars toward qualified medical expenses, and can help reduce the burden of healthcare costs and out-of-pocket expenses.

To maximize the benefits of HSA and FSA accounts, it is important to understand eligibility criteria and contribution limits set by the IRS. These guidelines ensure compliance and provide you with an opportunity to save for future healthcare expenses. 

While HSAs and FSAs serve a similar purpose, there’s actually some nuance to it. their differences to make an informed decision about which one best suits your needs. Let's delve into the specifics of each type of account, and how it relates to donor eggs.

Health Savings Accounts (HSAs)

To be eligible for an HSA, you must be enrolled in a high-deductible health plan (HDHP). Here's what you need to know about HSAs:

• Pre-tax contributions: Contributions to an HSA are made with pre-tax dollars, which means the money is deducted from your paycheck before taxes are calculated. This offers an immediate tax benefit by reducing your taxable income.
• Tax-free growth: Any contributions made to your HSA can grow tax-free through investment opportunities. This allows your HSA funds to accumulate over time and be used for future medical expenses.
• Portability: HSAs are portable, meaning you can take the account with you even if you change jobs or health insurance plans. The funds in your HSA remain available for qualified medical expenses, regardless of your employment status.
• Contribution limits: The IRS sets annual contribution limits for HSAs, which may change each year. For 2024, the contribution limit for an individual is $4,150, while for a family, it's $8,300. Individuals aged 55 or older can make additional catch-up contributions.

Flexible Spending Accounts (FSAs)

FSAs are another tax-advantaged option for healthcare expenses. Unlike HSAs, FSAs are typically offered through employers. Here are the key aspects of FSAs to consider:

Pre-tax contributions

Like HSAs, contributions to an FSA are made with pre-tax dollars, resulting in a reduction in your taxable income. However, unlike HSAs, there is no requirement for enrollment in a high-deductible health plan.

Use-it-or-lose-it rule

FSAs operate under a “use-it-or-lose-it” rule, which means any funds contributed to the account must be used within the plan year or within a limited grace period. However, some employers offer a carryover option or a grace period to allow some unused funds to be carried forward.

Employer control

FSAs are typically established and managed by employers. The employer determines the contribution limit and plan rules, such as eligible expenses and rollover options. It's important to review your employer's FSA plan details to understand its specific features.

Contribution limits

The IRS sets annual contribution limits for FSAs as well. For 2024, the maximum contribution limit is $3,200 per individual. However, employers may set lower limits, so it's essential to check with your employer for their specific FSA contribution limit.

Using HSAs and FSAs for donor eggs

HSA and FSA accounts can potentially be used to pay for donor eggs. When utilizing these accounts for payment, you’ll need to obtain detailed receipts from whatever party you are working with to match with an egg donor (be it an agency, egg bank, or matching platform like ours). This receipt can then be submitted to your HSA or FSA plan administrator for reimbursement, ensuring that the process is in compliance with the account guidelines. Better yet, discuss with them upfront what the pricing breakdown looks like so you know what expenses are involved ahead of time. 

HSA and FSA eligibility for donor eggs

While HSA and FSA funds can generally be used for eligible medical expenses related to egg donation, depending on your unique expenses, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that something might not be covered. To be 100% sure, we recommend discussing with a tax professional or your company’s specific plan administrator which expenses are eligible for reimbursement.

LGBTQ+ considerations for HSAs and FSAs

The IRS guidelines and regulations governing eligible medical expenses are periodically updated to accommodate the changing landscape of fertility treatments. And when it comes to tax deductions, benefits, and credits in general, LGBTQ+ individuals may be impacted by the IRS’ specific wording around eligible expenses. 

If you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, we recommend speaking to a tax professional to find out what may apply to you — at least until the Equal Access to Reproductive Care Act gets passed and modernizes federal tax codes to be more inclusive. 

IRS guidelines and equal treatment

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has provided guidance to ensure that same-sex couples have equal access to the benefits and rights associated with HSA/FSA accounts. According to the IRS, same-sex couples who are legally married or in registered domestic partnerships are eligible to establish and contribute to an HSA or FSA, just like opposite-sex couples.

Qualified medical expenses and donor eggs

However, the IRS defines “qualified medical expenses” as those incurred for the diagnosis, treatment, or prevention of a medical condition. While specific guidance regarding the eligibility of donor eggs for HSA/FSA reimbursement is not explicitly stated, the expenses related to fertility treatments, including donor eggs, may be eligible if you meet the criteria for qualified medical expenses. However, with courts narrowly defining infertility as a medical inability to conceive, this unfortunately limits many LGBTQ+ couples. 

Documenting eligible expenses

To ensure compliance and facilitate potential reimbursement, it is crucial to maintain proper documentation of your medical expenses. This includes obtaining detailed receipts and documentation of every related expense. 

Maximizing HSA and FSA benefits for donor eggs

Strategic planning can help you maximize the benefits of using HSA and/or FSA funds for donor eggs. Understanding the timing of fund availability and expenses is important. Some people choose to utilize their funds earlier in the year, while others may find it advantageous to wait until the end of the year.

In addition to timing considerations, HSA and FSA accounts offer potential tax advantages and savings. The contributions made to these accounts are typically tax-free, and qualified withdrawals for eligible medical expenses are also tax-free. By understanding and leveraging these benefits, you can optimize you financial resources for fertility treatments.

Other financing options for donor eggs

Beyond HSAs and FSAs, there are other avenues to explore when seeking financial support for donor eggs. Insurance coverage for donor eggs varies depending on individual plans and policies, making it crucial to research and discuss potential coverage options with insurance providers.

Tax deductions may also be available for certain fertility treatments, including those involving donor eggs. Consulting with a tax professional can help determine eligibility criteria and potential deductions, providing individuals with further financial relief.

Additionally, there are grants, scholarships, and financial assistance programs specifically designed to support individuals undergoing fertility treatments. Researching and applying for those programs can offer additional avenues of financial assistance to those pursuing the dream of building a family through donor eggs.

At Cofertility, we understand the financial challenges individuals and couples face when pursuing fertility treatments, especially the use of donor eggs. To make the journey more accessible, we work with financing partners that can help alleviate the financial burden. While we do charge a coordination fee, we’re committed to accessibility and improving the family building process for all. To learn more about how we can help you grow your family via egg donation, create a free account to get started.

Costs of donor eggs with Cofertility

Our goal is to provide a family building experience that’s as human-centered and transparent as possible. As such, you can find a full breakdown of all costs involved with a donor egg journey through Cofertility, right here on our website. 

Here’s how our unique egg sharing model works: rather than compensate a donor with cash, we empower women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Through our program, egg donors keep half of the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate the other half to your family. Because our donors aren’t paid in exorbitant cash lump sums, our structure helps lower costs for intended parents. It also means that the women in our program are truly incredible — and especially motivated to successfully help grow your family. Our model honors everyone involved: the intended parents, the donor, and ultimately, donor-conceived children.

When you work with Cofertility, your Member Advocate will be sure to provide itemized receipts and necessary paperwork that you may need to submit to your HSA or FSA plan. 

Financial help can be out there

The journey to parenthood through donor eggs may present financial challenges, but with careful planning, research, and exploration of available resources, it may be possible to find the support you need. We’re here sending luck (and a helping hand) your way.

Reproductive technology has opened up new horizons for individuals and couples hoping to bring new life into their world. Among these opportunities, the use of donor eggs stands as a beacon of hope for many. 

However, the reality of this life-changing treatment is often met with a stark reminder of its costs. Enter the landscape of employee benefits platforms - innovative companies that have stepped forward to revolutionize coverage for fertility treatments. But which ones cover donor eggs? In this article, we’ll provide insight into their services.

Carrot

Carrot takes a flexible approach to fertility benefits, allowing employers to customize coverage based on their budget and employees' needs. Carrot’s model is based on reimbursing members for care, with the overall budget set by the employer. As such, its comprehensive platform typically covers a range of fertility services, including donor egg treatments. Cofertility is also a preferred partner within Carrot’s network and all Carrot members will receive a discount off the Cofertility Coordination Fee. If you have Carrot benefits, reach out to our team to learn more!

Progyny

The largest benefits platform known for its patient-centric model, Progyny offers a comprehensive fertility benefits plan which can include coverage for donor egg treatments. Their Smart Cycle policy provides flexible coverage units that can be used across different treatment types, including IVF with donor eggs. The number of Smart Cycles as well as the specific treatment types covered varies by employer. For example: among those plans that do cover donor cycles, some exclusively cover frozen donor egg cycles, some cover fresh donor egg cycles, and some cover both. 

Win Fertility

Win Fertility partners with employers to offer fertility benefits, including personalized treatment management. Its coverage is comprehensive, typically encompassing a range of fertility treatments. Employers who partner with Win Fertility have the option to include donor egg treatments in their coverage plans.

Maven

Maven's platform offers a holistic approach to family benefits, encompassing fertility, maternity, and pediatrics. While its fertility coverage is extensive, whether or not it includes donor egg treatments may depend on the specific plan chosen by your employer.

Kindbody

Kindbody offers fertility benefits tied to Kindbody and other partner clinics. They take a similar approach to Progyny with “KindCycle” units that can be used across treatments, including IVF with donor eggs. 

Cleo

Cleo's strength lies in its integrated support system for families across reproductive health, fertility, and parenting. While they don’t offer direct fertility coverage, they provide on-demand support, personalized support plans, and research and expert-based answers to a variety of family-building questions, including donor egg IVF. 

Identifying donor egg coverage in your benefits program

As you can see from the descriptions above, whether or not your benefits program includes donor eggs has more to do with your employer than the platform. Most platforms have the ability to include donor eggs, but not all employers are willing to cover that cost.  

Understanding the specifics of your benefits program can be a daunting task, given the complex nature of health insurance policies and benefits packages. Here’s how to determine if your program includes donor egg coverage:

1. Start by thoroughly reviewing your benefits information. This is usually outlined in a document or an online portal provided by your employer or benefits provider. Look for sections that talk about 'fertility treatments', 'reproductive health', or 'family planning'. You might find explicit mention of egg donation or donor IVF.
2. If your benefits documentation is not clear or you have difficulty understanding the language used, do not hesitate to reach out to your benefits provider or HR department directly. They can provide clarity and guidance on what exactly is covered under your plan.
3. If applicable, take advantage of other employer-provided resources that can help you navigate your benefits. Benefit Bump and BenefitFocus are two companies that employers engage to help you understand your coverage and how to best use your available benefits. 
4. When inquiring about your coverage, be sure to ask direct and specific questions. For instance, "Does my plan cover the cost of donor eggs?" or "Is IVF with donor eggs included in my fertility benefits?" The more specific you are, the more accurate the information you'll receive.

Remember, benefits plans can change from year to year, so make sure to review your plan annually during the open enrollment period. Keep abreast of any changes or additions to your benefits, especially if you're considering fertility treatments using donor eggs.

Summing it up

While donor egg coverage specifics can depend on the individual plans chosen by employers, the trend is leaning towards a more inclusive approach, reflecting an increased understanding and empathy towards diverse fertility journeys.

Understanding your benefits program and whether it covers donor egg treatments is crucial in planning your fertility journey. Don't hesitate to seek assistance from professionals or directly ask your benefits provider to clarify your coverage. Being proactive about understanding your benefits will help you make informed decisions about your reproductive health.

Cofertility can help!

We started this company with the vision of serving all families, regardless of what brought them here. And we promise to provide you with the care we would want for our families. With our commitment to transparency, inclusivity, and innovation, we are striving to be the best in the industry.

Our unique egg sharing model empowers donors and enables families to find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily, setting a new standard for excellence in our field. Whether you are just getting educated on egg donation or ready to move forward, we want to help you achieve your goals and build the family of your dreams.

Create a free account to get started today!

Intended parents are often asking me if they should choose a first-time or proven egg donor. While it may initially seem like a major consideration, in reality, it often plays a relatively minor role in the overall process. In this article, I hope to clarify this question and guide you towards more consequential aspects in your decision-making process.

Understanding egg donation

Egg donation involves a woman donating her eggs to help another family conceive via in-vitro fertilization (IVF). These donated eggs are fertilized in a laboratory, and the resulting embryos are then transferred into the recipient's uterus or a gestational carrier. Most donors are first-time donors who have never donated before, but some are proven donors who have previously donated eggs which have resulted in successful pregnancies.

First-time vs. repeat egg donors

A first-time donor has no history of successful pregnancies, however this does not mean that she is not a wonderful donor. Even though it may provide some pause that the donor has not donated before, the number of eggs likely to be retrieved in a donation cycle can be predicted based on markers like anti-Mullerian hormone (AMH) levels and antral follicle count (AFC). These metrics provide solid indicators of ovarian reserve and, consequently, the potential success of an egg retrieval procedure.

On the other hand, proven donors have a track record of successful pregnancies through their donated eggs, which can offer some reassurance to intended parents going through egg donation. It’s another data point to give you confidence. However, a proven donor's history of successful pregnancies doesn't guarantee future success. Plus, a donor who has donated more than once means that your future child is more likely to have biological half-siblings. 

What matters most: family fit

As shared above, reliable estimates for the quantity of eggs that are likely to be retrieved during a donation cycle can be made based on biomarkers such as AMH and AMC. These critical measures serve as robust predictors of ovarian reserve and, therefore, help project the likely outcome of the egg retrieval process. A donor who has been medically cleared by a fertility doctor – whether she has donated before or not – has a good chance of a successful retrieval. In fact, donor egg IVF has better outcomes than other forms of ART.

Once an egg donor has been medically cleared, we think the "fit" of the donor with your family is arguably more critical. This fit might involve physical attributes, ethnicity, education, or other aspects that matter to you in relation to your future child. Donor profiles and interviews can provide valuable insights into these aspects, guiding your choice towards a donor who aligns with your vision for your family.

A downside of a “proven” donor: the biological half-sibling factor

A less commonly discussed aspect of using a proven donor is that your child may have biological half-siblings resulting from previous successful donations. While this fact doesn't influence the potential success of your IVF process, it's an important ethical and emotional consideration for many potential parents. For some, this potential genetic connection to other families might be concerning or undesirable. 

However, simply because a first time donor has not donated eggs before, it does not mean she will not potentially donate to other families in the future. This would also lead to biological half-siblings for your children. This is not something to be nervous or hesitant about though as it can be a beautiful thing. It has been seen that children born from the same donor sometimes seek each other out, and find family in the USA or around the world, and have stories to share between each other of being a donor conceived child. A very unique bond can be established between donor conceived children.

It's important to note that the possibility of having numerous genetic half-siblings doesn't inherently detract from the unique bond and relationship you will develop with your child. Yet, it's a factor to be aware of and something to consider based on your personal values and vision for your future family.

How many times can an egg donor donate?

There is a limit to how many times a woman can donate eggs, primarily based on ethical and safety guidelines. In the United States, for example, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that donors should not donate eggs more than six times during their lifetime. This guideline aims to minimize potential health risks for the donor and limit the number of offspring born from any one donor's eggs (although to be clear, even if a donor donates six times through an egg bank, those eggs could be distributed to far more than six families). At Cofertility, we follow these guidelines and actually find that most of our donors don’t plan on donating to more than one or two families because they are not doing it for cash compensation. 

Summing it up

Remember that while the choice of an egg donor is significant, it is just one aspect of the broader journey to parenthood. Other aspects, like ensuring the health of the mother or gestational carrier, preparing for the emotional and financial commitment of parenthood, and creating a nurturing environment for your child, are critical contributors to your child’s life.

While the decision between a first-time and proven egg donor can seem overwhelming, remember that this is just one factor among many in your fertility journey. Reliable fertility markers, such as AMH and AFC, offer significant predictors of egg retrieval success. Furthermore, the alignment of a donor with your vision of your future family is of paramount importance.

Each family's journey is unique, and there is no 'one size fits all' answer. Being patient with the process, staying informed, and leaning on the support of medical and mental health professionals can guide you towards the decisions that feel right for you and your family.

How Cofertility is different 

We started this company with the vision of serving all families, regardless of what brought them here. We promise to provide you with the care we would want for our families. With our commitment to transparency, inclusivity, and innovation, we are striving to be the best in the industry.

Our unique egg sharing model empowers donors and enables families to find the perfect egg donor match quickly and easily, setting a new standard for excellence in our field. Whether you are just becoming educated on egg donation or are ready to move forward, we want to help you achieve your goals and build the family of your dreams.

Create a free account to get started today!

In the dynamic landscape of third-party reproduction, the advent of Open ID egg donation marks a significant shift in egg donation. It's a model that places a strong emphasis on honesty, transparency, and the best interests of all parties involved: the donors, the intended parents, and most importantly, the donor-conceived children. At Coertility, we advocate for Open ID agreements when direct disclosure is not possible, shifting the traditional paradigm to honor the needs and rights of every individual involved in the process.

What is Open ID egg donation?

Open ID, sometimes referred to as Identity Release, egg donation refers to a practice wherein the egg donor agrees to have her identity disclosed to the child born from her donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically at 18 years. Unlike traditional anonymous egg donations, Open ID egg donation recognizes the potential need for children to access vital information about their genetic heritage, medical history, and potentially, their donor's identity.

In some countries, like the UK, open ID is the law. Since 2005, every child born via donor gametes in the UK has the right to personal non-identifying information about the donor (such as a physical description, year of birth, and medical history) at age 16. Upon turning 18, they are entitled to identifying information including the donor’s name and last known address. 

Disclosed vs undisclosed vs open ID egg donation

Navigating the world of egg donation involves understanding various terminologies and models of donation. At Cofertility, we have two main types of egg donations - disclosed and undisclosed, each of which can provide a different level of contact and communication between the intended parents and the donor. For families and donors that chose undisclosed donation, open ID is an alternative. 

Disclosed Donation

A disclosed donation is when the donor and the intended parents mutually agree to exchange contact information and communicate directly with each other. This model facilitates open communication and interaction, fostering a deeper understanding and connection between the parties. Disclosed donations often provide an opportunity for both the donor and the intended parents to establish rapport and ease any potential anxieties associated with the process.

This doesn’t mean that the donor is in the family’s life. The disclosure status is separate from any potential relationship that you have with the donor. For example, you may have a disclosed donation, in which you share contact information but decide not to maintain any regular communication. 

Undisclosed Donation

In contrast to the disclosed model, an undisclosed donation at Cofertility means that the intended parents and the donor do not exchange contact information and communicate solely through our team. We act as an intermediary, relaying information and facilitating discussions between both parties. This model provides a layer of privacy while still enabling crucial information exchange.

Open ID egg donation

For those who choose an undisclosed donation, open ID is an alternative. This model allows for the donor's identity to be disclosed to the child resulting from the donation once the child reaches a certain age, typically 18 years.

This arrangement respects the potential desire of the donor conceived child to know more about their genetic background and potentially connect with the donor. The open ID agreement is often structured based on the comfort and consent of all parties involved and takes into consideration the best interest of the donor conceived person.

At Cofertility, we encourage both disclosed and open ID agreements, as we believe in the importance of honoring the rights and curiosity of donor-conceived people. This approach demonstrates our commitment to transparency, honesty, and respect for all parties involved in the deeply personal process of egg donation.  At baseline, studies show the benefits of being honest with your child about his or her donor conceived origins

Why Cofertility supports open ID egg donation

At Cofertility, we firmly believe that anonymous egg donation belongs to the past. With the advancements in genetic testing and the increasingly interconnected world we live in, the promises of anonymity given by many egg donation agencies are simply wrong. In a world where genetic testing is widely accessible, there are no guarantees of a completely anonymous gamete donation.

But that doesn’t mean that a disclosed donation is right for every family. And we think it’s important to us to be mindful of unique circumstances and inclusive of cultures that still prefer undisclosed donations. We hold space for those intended parents and strive to help them reach an arrangement with their donor that honors their cultural needs alongside the donor conceived person’s lived experience. In these cases, open ID is an option that gives the parents privacy they desire, while giving the donor conceived child a chance to know who the donor is if they choose to as an adult.

Prioritizing the child's best interest

We are very explicit with the families we work with about the research indicating the benefits of being open with children about their donor-conceived roots. We encourage disclosed donations and are eager to connect intended parents with evidence-based research and experts who can discuss the topic further. We encourage both egg donors and intended parents to consider the best interests of the potential donor-conceived child in this process. For many donor-conceived individuals, knowing their genetic background is an essential part of their identity.

Open ID egg donation allows these donor-conceived individuals to access this vital information, enhancing their understanding of their own identity. It also provides them with the option to connect with their donor, should they wish to do so, once they reach adulthood.

This model not only respects the curiosity and rights of the donor-conceived child but also acknowledges the donor's role in the conception process. It also allows intended parents to answer any questions their child might have about their genetic background honestly and openly.

Building relationships: a customized approach

At Cofertility, we believe in the power of relationships. We work closely with all parties involved in the egg donation process to build a relationship that feels right for them.

We guide donors and intended parents through the complexities of agreements (including open ID agreements), ensuring that they understand the potential future implications and are comfortable with the level of contact agreed upon. Each egg donation agreement is customized based on the comfort level and wishes of all parties, ensuring a mutual understanding and respect for everyone's preferences.

Summing it up

Open ID egg donation is a progressive approach that honors the needs, rights, and best interests of donors, families, and donor conceived offspring. At Cofertility, we're committed to transparency, honesty, and respect for all parties involved in this deeply personal process.

In a world of ever-evolving third party reproduction, we are dedicated to moving with the times, staying up to date with the latest research, and promoting practices that reflect the reality of today's world. Our focus remains on building strong relationships, facilitating open communication, and ultimately, serving the best interests of donor-conceived children. 

As we help build families, we invite you to join us in embracing this approach, paving the way for a more transparent, respectful, and child-centered egg donation process.

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility, while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud about the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!