fertility emotions

If you’re applying for our Split program, where you’ll give a portion of your eggs to a family that cannot conceive otherwise, you may be wondering how much the intended parents (IPs) and any donor-conceived children will know about you—and vice versa. We know this is a big deal and we want to give you as much information as possible to help you make the best decision for you. 

Disclosed vs. undisclosed relationships 

In a disclosed relationship, you exchange contact information and can communicate directly. The scope and degree of communication (both during and post-match) is what both parties make of it. 

In an undisclosed relationship,  you do not exchange contact information and only communicate through Cofertility. With an undisclosed donation, you and the family can choose to allow the donor-conceived child to receive your contact information when they turn a certain age (usually 18). This is called Open ID, an increasingly popular option.

Does undisclosed mean anonymous? 

To put it bluntly, it is impossible to guarantee true anonymity in egg donation. With widely available genetic tests and more state laws giving donor-conceived children access to information about their donors, it’s increasingly likely that identity and shared genetics may be discovered. 

At Freeze by Co, we want to honor the perspectives of all parties involved in the family-building process. This includes Split members, intended parents, and especially any future donor-conceived children. Given research on the benefits of parents being open with their children about being donor-conceived, we encourage intended parents (through our Family by Co platform) to be open to their children about their conception story. 

If the eggs you give lead to a child (and we hope that they do!), that donor-conceived child may eventually want to reach out with their own questions. We want to be upfront that this could happen, even if you opt for an undisclosed match. 

What do these relationships look like in practice? 

Every relationship is unique and depends on the desires of the Split member, intended parents, and what’s best for any future donor-conceived children. They can range from regular communication to a single notification when the donor-conceived child is born. While this list is by no means exhaustive, we wanted to paint a picture of how these relationships may play out: 

Disclosed relationships may include:

• Receiving an annual holiday card from the intended family  
• Communicating with either the parents and/or donor conceived children around milestone events, like first steps up to graduations
• Speaking directly with the donor conceived child once he/she reaches a particular age
• Simply keeping communication lines open if an issue or need arises.

Conversely, an undisclosed relationship may include:

• Receiving a photo of the baby when he/she is born
• Communicating via Cofertility to share a meaningful update like first words

Note that if a donor-conceived child experiences a serious medical condition, you may be asked to provide supplemental medical information to help the family navigate the situation.  Also, if new information comes up about your own medical history, we ask you to let us know so that any relevant information can be shared with the family. This is the case regardless of your relationship status. 

If I have kids now or in the future, do I have to share this with them? 

If you have children in the future, we encourage you to share this information with them. You may decide to wait until your children reach a particular age or you may ask the IPs to let you know when they share their own child’s conception story so that you can do the same. 

As mentioned earlier, with the advent of consumer-facing genetic testing companies like 23andMe, it is also possible that your children could be contacted by donor-conceived children in the future. As such, you may prefer to share this information on your own terms. Whether that is five, ten, or fifteen years from now — we’ll provide you with resources to support that conversation. 

Egg donation is a beautiful way to build a family and not something anyone involved should be ashamed of. Research shows that normalizing egg donation with children at an early age is best. This is true for parents who raise the child, as well as the egg donor who made it possible. 

What are my options with Split?

As part of the Split program application, you’ll be given the opportunity to indicate your preference for a disclosed or undisclosed relationship. You can also indicate openness to both. This information will also be shared on your profile so that you will only be matched with IPs who are aligned on the desired relationship type. 

If you still have questions about the spectrum of relationship options, reach out! We’re here to help you navigate it all, and we find that Split members are often open to a wide range of options after getting to know the family they are helping.

Final thoughts

If you’re applying for our Split program, we know you have a lot to consider. Our goal is to build families, but we aim to do so in a way that honors all parties involved. If you have any questions about our policies or thoughts around disclosure or want to talk through your personal situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out. 

When you’re considering Cofertility’s Split program, it’s natural to wonder where the process ends—what would actually happen to your eggs after you’ve donated? After all, you’re probably looking into this option with the hope that a family may be able to grow their family with your help. So how does that all happen? 

How to donate eggs

First things first: if you decide that you want to help intended parents grow a family, you can expect to go through a pretty rigorous screening process. You’ll answer a lot of questions and go through a medical assessment

Typically you can expect the process to look like this:

1. Application and Interview: You will share more information about yourself, including background on your health and whether you’ve donated your eggs or been pregnant in the past. We will also gather information about your education and family so we can share this with the intended parents down the line. 
2. Medical testing: If your initial screening indicates that you are a good candidate for Split, once you match with intended parents, you will be tested for diseases such as HIV and hepatitis.You may be tested for genetic conditions such as cystic fibrosis. Importantly, you will also undergo a psychological evaluation to ensure that you’re participating in the program willingly and that you’re prepared for the process ahead. 
3. Medications: If you go through with the procedure, you will take injectable medications to stimulate your ovaries to produce more eggs. You’ll make several visits to a fertility clinic over a period of 10 to 14 days so the doctor can perform ultrasounds and monitor your ovaries. 
4. Egg retrieval: The fertility specialist will use anesthesia and retrieve eggs from your  ovaries with a needle and special suction device. This is considered a minor surgical procedure that can be done right at a fertility clinic under light anesthesia. It’s quick too — the whole process can take as little as 30 minutes. 

So what happens to my eggs after I donate them?

So what happens to my eggs after the egg retrieval? The eggs you’re donating will now move on to be fertilized and hopefully help grow a new family. 

Here’s how your eggs will be used to help intended parents: 

• Fertilization via IVF — After eggs are retrieved from your ovaries, an embryologist will use them to start the process of in vitro fertilization — more commonly known as IVF. The fertilization, or insemination process, is performed in a lab and involves adding sperm to the eggs. The fertilized eggs will then develop in the lab and hopefully become embryos, the building block of a developing baby.  

• Embryo testing — Some intended parents may opt for preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) to be done on the embryos. This process checks for chromosomal abnormalities such as extra chromosomes or missing chromosomes. This process can also flag genetic abnormalities controlled by a single gene, like cystic fibrosis or BRCA mutation.

• Embryo transfer — If the fertilization process is successful and the embryo continues to divide after fertilization, it’s now ready to be transferred into the uterus of an intended parent or gestational surrogate. This step of IVF is also done in a fertility clinic, where a reproductive endocrinologist will use a catheter to place the  embryo — or sometimes multiple embryos — into the uterus. 

• Pregnancy — If all goes well, the embryo will implant in the uterus, and your donated eggs will result in a pregnancy for the recipient family! Of course, success will be based on a number of factors here — not just your donor eggs. These factors range from the age of the woman carrying the baby to the quality of the sperm used in the insemination process. CDC data from 2019 (the most recent year for which data is available) found that more than 9,000 babies were born that year with the help of donated eggs. 

• Birth — When a child is born, the intended parents will be listed on the birth certificate and be considered the child’s parents in the eyes of the law. 

Do egg donors meet the parents?

As you’re considering the Split Program, it’s natural to wonder if you’ll meet the intended parents. You may also be debating the type of relationship, if any, that you might want to have with the intended parents and any potential offspring. 

Many egg donor agencies keep donors anonymous — that means they only share details with intended parents about a donor’s genetic history, physical characteristics such as eye color, education, and hobbies. They don’t put the two parties in contact with one another and don’t share the egg donor’s email, phone number, address, or even their real name. In fact, many of them even allow contracts where both parties agree not to reach out to the other. 

At Cofertility, the decision about the relationship between Split Members and Intended Parents rests in the hands of both parties. We provide the education and data as to what relationship we know from research is most healthy for the future child. And you will be able to choose how much (or how little) contact you want, shaping a relationship that you are both comfortable with and one that takes the feelings of the donor-conceived child into consideration. 

Can I donate my eggs again?

Maybe you’ve formed a relationship with the intended parents who used your eggs and they want a sibling, or perhaps you want to help more families. Either way, you may want to donate your eggs again — and you can. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine guidelines allow for women to donate eggs up to six times. Know that this decision is entirely up to you.

Freeze your eggs for free by donating half to a family in need

We created the Split Program to give women the option to keep half of the eggs retrieved during the egg donor process. The costs of oocyte cryopreservation (the official medical term for egg freezing) along with 10 years of storage are entirely covered.

The number of eggs retrieved per cycle will vary based on your age and other factors. One study of 1,241 women found that, for women under 35, the average number of eggs retrieved on the first egg freezing round was 21. Depending on the number that you retrieve, some doctors may recommend completing a second cycle to ensure that you have enough eggs  frozen for your own future use. 

Bottom Line

While the process may end for you at the retrieval, it’s natural to wonder what happens next. Split Program members are giving an incredible gift to a family in need and we want to make sure that you feel honored and respected throughout that process. With Cofertility, you play a role in deciding how much - or how little - you know about what comes after your retrieval.

Egg freezing, also known as oocyte cryopreservation, has grown in popularity, with a 46% increase in egg freezing cycles from 2020 to 2021 alone! This transformative medical procedure has garnered significant attention and interest. 

Amidst all the buzz and excitement, it's important to navigate your egg freezing journey with the facts. To ensure a successful and fulfilling experience, we've curated a guide to help you avoid seven common mistakes people make when freezing their eggs. 

Working with the wrong doctor

The importance of selecting the right doctor for your egg freezing journey cannot be overstated. Entrusting your reproductive health to a skilled and compassionate fertility specialist is paramount. Choosing a doctor who understands your unique needs, communicates effectively, and provides personalized care is essential for a successful egg freezing experience. 

Take the time to research and seek recommendations, ensuring you find a doctor who aligns with your values, instills confidence, and supports you every step of the way. Remember, the right doctor can make all the difference in your pursuit of fertility preservation.

Read more in What To Look For in An Egg Freezing Clinic

Not freezing their eggs sooner

We are born with all the eggs we will ever have, and lose them each month until we hit menopause and no eggs remain. Not only that, but our quality of eggs decline along with quantity. This is because eggs are more likely to contain chromosomal abnormalities (mistakes in their DNA) as we get older. 

One of the biggest mistakes individuals make is underestimating the impact of age on egg freezing. Fertility specialists often emphasize the significance of freezing eggs at a younger age, ideally before 40. Time is a precious resource when it comes to preserving fertility, and being proactive ensures a higher chance of success.

One survey study of 98 patients found that the vast majority of egg freezers showed no regret, stating that it was a good decision. But some stated that their only regret was not doing it sooner.

Overlooking lifestyle factors

Creating an optimal environment for egg freezing involves mindful attention to various lifestyle factors. Mistakes are made when individuals underestimate the significance of a balanced diet, regular exercise, and healthy habits. Embrace a nutrient-rich diet, prioritize stress management techniques, and maintain a consistent sleep routine. By incorporating these lifestyle choices, you not only enhance your overall well-being but also create an environment conducive to successful egg freezing.

Skipping the pre-freezing fertility assessment

Embarking on the egg freezing journey without a comprehensive fertility assessment is akin to navigating uncharted waters without a map. To avoid this mistake, consult a knowledgeable fertility specialist who can evaluate your ovarian reserve, hormonal levels, and overall reproductive health. This pre-freezing evaluation allows for a tailored approach and provides valuable insights into your ovarian reserve, which can help predict how well your body would respond to egg freezing medications. Knowledge is power, and a thorough assessment is the first step towards a graceful and informed decision.

Ignoring emotional support

The egg freezing journey can be emotionally charged, as it involves contemplation of one's fertility and future family-building aspirations. Neglecting emotional support during this transformative process is a common yet avoidable mistake. Seek a support system composed of loved ones, therapists, or support groups who can provide guidance, empathy, and understanding. Emotional well-being is the cornerstone of this journey, and by tending to it, you pave the way for a more harmonious experience.

If you freeze your eggs with Cofertility, our inclusive online spaces allow you to connect with others going through the process at the same time.

Thinking it’s an insurance policy

One misunderstanding people make when freezing their eggs is viewing it as an insurance policy against future infertility. While egg freezing does offer a chance to preserve fertility potential, it's important to understand its limitations and set realistic expectations.

Egg freezing is not a guarantee of future pregnancy. It is a proactive step to preserve eggs at a younger age when they are more viable, increasing the chances of successful conception later on. However, there are various factors that can influence the outcome, such as the quality of the eggs, overall health, age at the time of egg freezing, quality of the egg freezing clinic, sperm health, and the chosen fertility treatment in the future.

It's essential to have a clear understanding of the success rates associated with egg freezing and the potential limitations. The chances of achieving a successful pregnancy with frozen eggs can vary depending on individual factors and the quality of the eggs at the time of freezing. Consulting with a fertility doctor can provide valuable insights into your specific situation.

Failing to plan for the future

Freezing eggs is a remarkable step towards reproductive empowerment, but it should not be seen as a standalone solution. A mistake often made is neglecting to plan for the future beyond egg freezing. Engage in discussions with your fertility doctor about next steps, including potential pathways to parenthood, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF). By mapping out your future plans, you embrace a sense of preparedness and ensure a seamless transition when the time comes to utilize your frozen eggs.

Paying too much

One of the common mistakes people make when freezing their eggs is not fully understanding the costs involved and potentially paying more than necessary. The pricing structure for egg freezing can be complex and opaque, leading to confusion and unexpected financial burdens. Average egg freezing cycle costs range from $10,000 - $20,000 for consultations, testing, ultrasounds, medications, and the egg retrieval, plus the ongoing cost of annual storage.

If you work with Cofertility, you can rest assured that you’re getting the best price when working with one of our partner clinics. Through our Keep program, we offer our members partnerships and discounts to lighten the financial load of egg freezing, as well as access to our member community.

Or, in our Split program, which offers women a chance to freeze your eggs *for free* when donating half the eggs to a family who cannot otherwise conceive. If you qualify for the program, every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure —  medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge. We don’t even need a payment or credit card up front, as the family you match with covers all the expenses.

Let us help you freeze those eggs!

If you are interested in freezing your eggs, we can connect you with a fertility specialist for a consultation to discuss your specific situation. Our Freeze by Co platform is making egg freezing more empowering, positive, and accessible — even free — when you give half of the eggs retrieved to a family who can’t otherwise conceive.

Even if you’re years off from wanting children, discussing your fertility with your primary care physician or OBGYN is a good idea. Being proactive and addressing your fertility concerns can help you make informed decisions and confidently navigate this phase of your life.

In this article, we’ll share some tools and knowledge necessary to empower yourself when discussing fertility-related matters with your doctor. By asking the right questions and advocating for yourself, you can ensure that your concerns are taken seriously and receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Educate yourself

Before your doctor's appointment, take the time to educate yourself about fertility and reproductive health. Familiarize yourself with the basics of female reproductive anatomy, menstrual cycles, and fertility potential. You can start by checking out our Learn section, which offers comprehensive information on fertility-related topics, including egg freezing, hormones, and more. 

Get some family history

You might also want to ask females in your family (your biological mother, older sisters, etc.) about their fertility experience. This will help you gain insight into any potential hereditary factors that could impact your own fertility. Their health history may be helpful for your provider to assess any genetic predispositions or conditions that may affect your fertility journey now or down the line.

Prepare ahead of time

Preparation is key to effective communication with your doctor. Make a list of questions or concerns you want to address during the appointment. This will help you stay focused and ensure that all important points are covered. Include specific questions about your fertility, potential testing or treatments, and the possibility of egg freezing. Think through your desired family-building timeline (if you have one) as this will play a role in determining the best next steps. 

Here are some questions you can consider asking:

• Given my family-building timeline, what steps should I take now to give me the best chance of success down the line?
• Are there any potential factors that could be affecting my fertility?
• Are there any tests or evaluations that can help determine my fertility potential?
• Based on my medical history, are there any specific concerns or conditions that may impact my fertility?
• What lifestyle changes can I make to optimize my fertility?
• Are there any specific dietary recommendations or supplements that can support fertility?
• Can you provide me with a referral to a fertility specialist or clinic if needed?
• Are there any long-term contraceptive options that provide reliable protection while allowing flexibility for future plans?
• Are there any factors in my medical history that might affect the choice of contraception or impact fertility in the future?
• Can you provide guidance on resources or support groups for people who are planning to delay parenthood for a few years?

Seek a fertility specialist

If you feel like your OBGYN doesn’t have the necessary expertise in fertility, or you have a gut feeling you may have a fertility issue, consider seeking a referral to a fertility specialist. These specialists, often reproductive endocrinologists (REIs), have specialized knowledge and experience in diagnosing and treating fertility issues. They can provide you with a more thorough evaluation and personalized advice.

Establish open communication

When speaking to your doctor, establish a comfortable and open line of communication. Explain your concerns clearly and concisely, emphasizing the importance of the topic to you. Use "I" statements to express your feelings and personal motivations for seeking fertility guidance. This approach helps create a more collaborative relationship with your doctor.

Some examples of these statements might include:

• “I think I might want to have children someday, and I want to understand more about my fertility to make informed decisions about when to start trying to conceive.”
• “I have a medical condition that could affect my fertility, and I would like to discuss the potential impact and/or treatment.”
• “I am at an age where I feel a sense of urgency to explore my fertility options, because I don't want to experience challenges building my family down the line.” 
• “I have a family history of reproductive issues, and I want to be proactive in understanding my own fertility health to prevent any potential complications in the future.”
• “I'm considering delaying pregnancy for a few years due to personal or career reasons, but I'm concerned about how that might affect my fertility. Can you provide information on fertility preservation options?”
• “I have irregular periods, and it's been challenging for me to track my ovulation. Can you help me understand my cycle better and provide advice on optimizing my fertility?”
• “I've always had a strong desire to become a parent, and understanding my fertility is essential to fulfilling that dream. Can we discuss tests or assessments that can give me a clearer picture of my reproductive health?”

Remember, these are just examples, you should personalize your questions and comments based on your specific situation and concerns. Your OBGYN will appreciate your openness and willingness to discuss your fertility goals and worries. If your OBGYN is dismissive of these questions or concerns, it may be time to consider talking to another doctor. 

Share your medical history

Come prepared. Be ready to provide your doctor with a comprehensive medical history, including any previous or current reproductive health issues. What kind of birth control are you on? Have you had any STIs, miscarriages, or abortions? Knowing your cycle – if it’s regular or not – is vital information too. . The more information you provide the doctor, the better they will be able to understand your unique circumstances and tailor recommendations to suit your needs.

Discuss fertility testing

If you have concerns about your fertility, or are just curious about your ovarian reserve, ask about appropriate tests to assess your reproductive health. Understanding your fertility potential can help guide discussions about future family planning or the need for egg freezing.

Possible tests include:

• Hormone level assessments: These are blood tests that measure hormone levels related to fertility. They can include assessments of anti-mullerian hormone (AMH), follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), luteinizing hormone (LH), estrogen, progesterone, and thyroid hormones. These tests help evaluate ovarian function, the menstrual cycle, and potential hormonal imbalances that may affect fertility.
• Pelvic ultrasounds: A pelvic ultrasound is a non-invasive imaging procedure that uses sound waves to create images of the reproductive organs. It can help evaluate the health and condition of the uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes. This assessment can identify any structural abnormalities, such as fibroids, cysts, or polyps, that may impact fertility.
• Semen analysis: A semen analysis is a test performed on a male partner to assess the quantity, quality, and movement of sperm. The analysis involves collecting a semen sample, which is then examined under a microscope. It evaluates sperm count, motility (movement), morphology (shape), and other factors that can affect male fertility.

Ask your doctor which tests make sense now, and which ones can wait until you’re ready to start trying.

Inquire about egg freezing

If you are considering egg freezing, approach the topic directly with your doctor. Ask about the process, success rates, potential risks, and the ideal age to consider this option. If you’re already chatting with an REI, seek information on the specific protocols followed at the clinic, including the number of eggs typically recommended for optimal chances of future conception. 

Read more in Questions to Ask Your Doctor at an Egg Freezing Consultation

If you’re curious to see if you qualify for Freeze by Co’s Split program — where you can freeze your eggs for free if you give half of the eggs retrieved to another family who can’t conceive — you can take our quiz here. Additionally, our self-pay Keep program allows women to freeze their eggs and keep them all for their future use, with partnerships and discounts to lighten the financial load of egg freezing and as access to our member community.

Request second opinions

If you feel your concerns are not adequately addressed or your doctor dismisses your fertility-related questions, do not hesitate to seek a second opinion. A different perspective may offer fresh insights and alternative treatment options that can better meet your needs.

Trust your gut

Lastly, trust your instincts. If you feel unheard, rushed, or dismissed during your appointment, it is crucial to advocate for yourself. Remember, you are an active participant in your own fertility journey, and your concerns and desires deserve attention and respect.

Summing it up

Remember, every individual's journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to family planning. Your doctor is a valuable resource who can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs. By opening up the lines of communication and actively participating in discussions about your fertility, you can embark on this phase of your life with confidence and peace of mind.

Taking control of your reproductive health and discussing fertility concerns or options like egg freezing with your doctor can be an empowering and transformative experience. With the right tools and a proactive mindset, you can ensure that your fertility journey is supported and guided by a healthcare professional who values your concerns and helps you make informed decisions about your reproductive future.

Read more:

• Questions to Ask Your Doctor at an Egg Freezing Consultation
• Can I Freeze My Eggs If… 
• What Can I Expect From the FSH Blood Test?

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Cancer is a challenging journey that often necessitates numerous life-altering decisions. For women of reproductive age, one of these critical decisions is understanding how cancer treatments might impact fertility and what can be done to preserve it. In this article we’ll explore this delicate intersection of oncology and reproductive health, and talk about the option of egg freezing.

The impact of cancer treatments on fertility

Cancer treatments, while lifesaving, can significantly affect fertility. These impacts can vary depending on the specific treatment, the dose, your age, and the area being treated.

• Chemotherapy medications, designed to target rapidly dividing cells, may inadvertently impact the eggs in the ovaries. This decrease can result in infertility, primary ovarian insufficiency, or a narrowed window of fertility, much like natural aging. Women over 35, having fewer eggs to start with, are more susceptible to this effect.
• Radiation therapy targeted at the pelvis or the entire abdomen can harm eggs and the uterus. The radiation can lead to scarring, or fibrosis, in the uterus, making it challenging for the uterus to accommodate a growing fetus. Consequently, women may face difficulties in conceiving or carrying a pregnancy to term, increasing the risk of miscarriage or premature labor.
• Treatments involving the brain, such as surgery or radiation, can affect the pituitary gland responsible for releasing hormones that stimulate egg maturation and ovulation. While the eggs in the ovaries are not directly damaged, the disruption in hormone regulation can affect fertility. However, hormone replacement medications may help restore fertility in these cases.
• Surgery involving one or both ovaries or the uterus can directly impact fertility. The degree of this impact would depend on the extent of surgical intervention.

If you are considering cancer treatment and are concerned about its potential impact on your fertility, it is important to discuss your concerns with your oncologist and/or a fertility doctor. They can provide you with information about the potential effects of cancer treatment on fertility and help you understand your options for preserving your fertility before treatment begins.

Egg freezing options

For those about to embark on cancer treatment, a few fertility preservation options can increase the chances of having biological children in the future. 

Egg freezing (oocyte cryopreservation) is a process involving stimulating the ovaries with hormones to produce multiple eggs, which are then retrieved and frozen for future use. The entire process takes about two weeks from start to finish, but the start date depends on your menstrual cycle. 

If you have a partner or choose to use donor sperm, the eggs can be fertilized before freezing, creating embryos for future implantation. The benefit of fertilizing the eggs immediately is that you will know how many embryos you have for future use.

Ovarian tissue freezing is a relatively new and experimental technique that involves surgically removing and freezing ovarian tissue, which contains thousands of immature eggs. This tissue can later be re-implanted to restore fertility or used to mature eggs in the laboratory. This may be an option for those who are not able to undergo egg freezing due the urgent need to begin cancer treatment.

To freeze or not to freeze

Making a choice on which fertility preservation option to pursue, if any, can be a difficult decision. A myriad of factors play into this decision, including your current health, age, cancer type, the proposed treatment regimen, personal circumstances, and future family plans.

Navigating a cancer diagnosis while also thinking about future fertility can be emotionally overwhelming. There are not only physical implications to consider, but also emotional, psychological, and social dimensions to this journey.

The chosen method must be compatible with your treatment plan and timing, as some methods require hormonal stimulation and time to mature and retrieve the eggs. A fertility doctor, alongside your oncology team, can provide the most accurate advice based on your unique situation.

It's important to seek emotional and mental health support during this challenging time. Reach out to your health care team, a mental health professional, supportive loved ones, or a support group of others going through a similar experience. It can be helpful to share your feelings, fears, and hopes, and to hear others' experiences and insights.

Financial considerations - how to pay for egg freezing 

Another important aspect to consider is the cost of fertility preservation treatments. These procedures can be expensive, and not all are covered by insurance. Average egg freezing costs range from $10,000 - $20,000 for consultations, testing, ultrasounds, medications, and the egg retrieval, plus the ongoing cost of annual storage. But ultimately depends on the clinic you’re going to, where you are located, the medications you are prescribed (it differs based on your age and body), and where/how long you store the eggs.

There may be ways to lessen the financial burden, including:

Insurance coverage 

Begin by thoroughly understanding your insurance coverage. Some health insurance plans provide partial or complete coverage for fertility preservation, especially in cases of medically necessary treatments such as cancer. Legislation in certain states mandates insurance coverage for fertility preservation for cancer patients. 

As of the writing of this article, these states require health insurance plans to cover medically necessary fertility preservation:

• California
• Colorado
• Connecticut
• Delaware
• Illinois
• Kentucky
• Louisiana
• Maryland
• New Hampshire
• New Jersey
• New York
• Rhode Island
• Texas
• Utah

Reach out to your insurance provider to understand what is covered and what out-of-pocket costs you can anticipate.

Flexible Spending Account (FSA) or Health Savings Account (HSA)

If you have an FSA or HSA through your insurance plan, these funds can often be used to cover fertility preservation expenses. Check with your plan administrator to confirm what expenses qualify.

Tax deductions

The IRS has traditionally considered fertility preservation treatments, like egg freezing, to be tax-deductible when they are deemed medically necessary. This typically refers to situations where a medical condition or treatment (such as chemotherapy for cancer) could cause infertility. You’ll want to talk to a tax professional about which egg freezing expenses you can deduct from your taxes.

Negotiating prices and shop around 

Don't hesitate to discuss the costs with your fertility clinic. Some clinics may offer discounted rates or payment plans for individuals facing financial constraints. Get pricing from a few clinics to see your options. 

Financing options

There are a growing number of financing options, such as loans or payment plans, to help patients pay for egg freezing. These options allow you to spread the cost of the procedure over several months, making it more manageable. For example, Sunfish makes egg freezing (and fertility treatment in general) attainable for all types of families with low-interest loans or lines of credit.

Financial assistance programs and grants for cancer patients

Numerous organizations offer grants or financial aid to cancer patients seeking fertility preservation. Examples include the Livestrong Fertility Program, Team Maggie, Chick Mission, the SAMFund, The Ferring Heartbeat program, and Fertile Action. These organizations aim to alleviate the financial burden of fertility preservation and increase access to these vital services.

Crowdfunding

With the rising popularity of crowdfunding platforms, many people turn to their community, near and far, for financial support. Websites like GoFundMe can be used to raise funds for medical treatments.

Employer benefits 

Increasingly, employers are recognizing the importance of supporting their employees' reproductive health and are incorporating fertility benefits into their packages. Explore whether your employer offers any such benefits or whether they would consider adding them.

Options if you choose not to freeze your eggs

If you don’t freeze your eggs before cancer treatment, it's important to remember that does not mean the end of the road for parenthood. There are multiple paths available to build a family. 

It may be possible to regain fertility naturally after cancer treatments, particularly if you are under 30 at the time of treatment. You’ll want to talk with your oncologist and a fertility doctor about when it would be safe to try for a pregnancy and the potential risks involved.

For women whose ovarian reserve has been significantly impacted, the use of donor eggs can be a great option. In this process, eggs from a donor are fertilized with your partner's sperm (or donor sperm), and the resulting embryos are implanted in your uterus. This path allows you to experience pregnancy and childbirth.

If the uterus has been damaged by radiation or surgery, or if pregnancy poses a health risk, gestational surrogacy might be an option. In this case, an embryo (created with your egg or a donor egg and your partner's or a donor's sperm) is carried by a gestational carrier.

Finally, adoption remains a heartfelt path to parenthood for many individuals and couples. Adopting a child can be a fulfilling choice that meets the deep desire to raise and nurture a child.

Living with the aftermath of a cancer diagnosis can be challenging, particularly when it affects your family planning. However, remember that numerous avenues to parenthood remain open, and while they may not be the paths you initially envisioned, they can be equally rewarding and enriching. Your dream of becoming a parent can still be a reality; it might just involve a different route than you originally planned.

Summing it up

Navigating the landscape of cancer and fertility can be laden with emotional and medical complexities. However, armed with knowledge about potential impacts and available options, you can make an informed decision that aligns with your future family-building aspirations. Your oncology and fertility teams can provide guidance and support, helping you weave your way through this intricate journey and minimizing future regrets. In the end, the goal is to optimize not just survival, but also quality of life and future dreams.

Missy Modell is no stranger to breaking boundaries. A fierce advocate for women's rights and an inspiring artist, she is open and honest about her own experiences. In a candid interview with us, Missy shares her journey of freezing her eggs, a deeply personal and empowering decision that reflects the challenges and choices women face today.

From doubt to decision

"I was really against egg freezing at first!" Missy shared. But her initial resistance gave way to reflection and realization. "Ultimately, I decided that at this very moment in my life and career, I am not ready to have children but I do know that I want them at some point."

The process: challenges and triumphs

Missy started the process at 35, but got scared and held off for a year. She finally began a year later, but observed significant changes in her body during that year, as her AMH dropped from 2.5 to 1.5, a realization that underscored the urgency of her decision. "I knew that if I was going to do it, now was the time!" she told us.

They ultimately retrieved 13 eggs and were able to freeze 10. Missy's reflections resonate with empowerment and gratitude. The rewards were not just in the outcomes but in the newfound connection with her body and a sense of autonomy and control over her future. Her journey is a testament to resilience, self-awareness, and the power of informed and thoughtful decision-making.

On the complexities of the egg freezing process, Missy shared, "The hardest part was honestly the aftermath. I had a sense of doom and depressed feelings that lasted a few weeks." 

But her journey wasn't without triumphs. "The thing that worried me most was being under anesthesia for the retrieval, but that ended up being one of the seamless parts of the whole experience! I felt so safe," she revealed.

Reflections and looking ahead

"I honestly can’t believe I did it! I am really proud of myself and very happy with my decision," Missy said, looking back on the experience. Her relationship with her body changed profoundly as well: "The entire journey made me feel so connected to my body, my cycle, and other women who have also undergone fertility treatment."

"The entire journey made me feel so connected to my body, my cycle, and other women who have also undergone fertility treatment."

This connection, born from a deeply personal experience, transcends the medical procedure itself. It's a testament to a shared understanding and empathy among women who have faced similar decisions. Missy's story isn't just about the choices she made for her future; it's a unifying narrative that resonates with countless women navigating their reproductive journeys, forging bonds of strength, compassion, and courage.

Advice for others

Missy's advice for others is rich in empathy and wisdom. "Freezing your eggs is not a failure. It took me so long to get past the shame of it all but I quickly learned that it’s an incredibly kind thing to do for yourself." She also stresses the importance of self-care, advising, "Be compassionate and kind to yourself. This is a very emotional process that brings up a LOT. Focus on the gratitude for being able to go through this process in the first place and how good you will feel when it’s done!"

Freezing your eggs is not a failure. It took me so long to get past the shame of it all but I quickly learned that it’s an incredibly kind thing to do for yourself.

Missy Modell's candid and heartfelt sharing paints a vivid picture of a journey filled with challenges, resilience, and empowerment. Her experience, in her own words, showcases a deeply personal aspect of women's health that often goes unspoken. Missy's story is more than just about egg freezing; it's a celebration of female strength, autonomy, and the embracing of life's possibilities. Her reflection rings loud and clear: "Women are truly fearless," and her own story stands as a testament to that truth.

Read more:

• How Many Eggs Should I Aim to Freeze?
• How Many Times Should I Freeze My Eggs?
• Should I Freeze My Eggs If I'm Not Yet Sure I Want Children?

More and more people in the US (and the rest of the world) are taking control of their reproductive health and fertility by choosing to freeze their eggs. Whether this is so they can focus on a career, get an insurance policy with coverage for treatments, or because of medical reasons, this has allowed people to delay having children until whenever they’re ready to start a family.

If you’re thinking about freezing your eggs, you probably have tons of questions. In this article, we’re going to focus on a very common question: “How can I increase my chances of success when I freeze my eggs?”

Factors that can affect egg freezing success rates

Before an egg freezing cycle

Let’s start by going through what specific things make a difference in your chances of success before you even freeze your eggs.

Age

Age has been proven by countless research studies to be one of the biggest determinants of egg quality. As a person ages, their eggs are more likely to become aneuploid, meaning they’re genetically “abnormal.” This can lead to issues with both getting and staying pregnant (i.e, higher risk of miscarriages). On top of that, as a person ages, the number of eggs their ovaries contain continues to decrease naturally. Once a person reaches their mid to late thirties, the quality and quantity of eggs starts to go down more quickly. While there is no “perfect” age at which to freeze your eggs, freezing them before you reach your late 30s is considered ideal. 

AMH level

Another important factor is your Anti-Müllerian hormone (AMH) level. This is a simple blood test that is commonly used to tell us a person’s reproductive potential based on the number and the quality of eggs they have left in their ovaries. AMH is released by antral follicles, which are small, fluid-filled sacs in the ovaries that each contain a single oocyte (immature egg). Your AMH level is positively correlated with the number of antral follicles you have in your ovaries. Simply stated, the more follicles you have, the higher your AMH level typically is. AMH naturally goes down as a person gets older until it reaches close to zero during perimenopause. While there is no international standard for what a normal AMH level is, some studies have tried to create models for what’s considered normal for specific ages. Check out this article to find out more about AMH levels at different ages.

Antral follicle count

Antral follicle count (AFC) is another number to be aware of before egg freezing. AFC is used in fertility assessments to estimate the number of developing follicles in someone’s ovaries at a specific point in the menstrual cycle using ultrasound. As mentioned before, the more follicles you have (the higher your AFC is), the higher your AMH level. And just like your AMH, your AFC will also naturally go down as you age. 

How these values affect your egg freezing success 

Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot that can be done about aging or about the decline in AMH and AFC that goes with it but there are a few things to know about how they affect your egg freezing changes. 

• Ovarian reserve assessment. Age, AMH and AFC all provide valuable information about a person’s ovarian reserve. In general, younger age, higher AMH levels, and a higher AFC are good indicators that you have a larger pool of potential eggs in the ovaries. This means that you’re more likely to produce more eggs during an egg retrieval cycle, which increases the chances of a successful egg freezing cycle.
• Response to ovarian stimulation. Part of the egg freezing cycle includes taking medications to stimulate the ovaries to develop multiple eggs at once (as opposed to just one during a natural, unmedicated menstrual cycle). The response to these medications can vary based on age, AMH, and AFC. People who are younger and those who have a higher AFC/AMH tend to have a better response and produce more mature eggs during the stimulation. This increases the chances of retrieving a larger number of high-quality eggs for freezing.
• Number of cycles. In some cases, people with a lower AFC and/or AMH may have to go through more than one egg freezing cycle in order to get an adequate number of eggs. This can get costly and time-consuming pretty quickly.
• Future fertility potential. The number and quality of frozen eggs affects the chances of having a successful pregnancy when the frozen eggs are later thawed, fertilized, and transferred during an in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment. A higher AFC and AMH can mean a higher number of frozen eggs, which increases a person’s chances of success in the future. However, neither of these numbers is the end-all-be-all here. In fact, while AMH does seem to have some association with live birth rates after IVF, its ability to actually predict a live birth is not that great, especially for younger people.

Again, all three of these factors aren’t necessarily things you can change so it can be easy to get discouraged if your values aren’t where you want them to be. Remember that each of these is just one value your provider looks at to assess your overall reproductive potential. No value by itself can completely predict your chances of conceiving naturally or define your fertility. A comprehensive assessment of a person’s fertility potential has to be done by a fertility specialist before jumping to any conclusions and making decisions about fertility preservation.

During an egg freezing cycle

Now, let’s go through the factors during an egg freezing cycle that can affect your chances of success.

Quantity and quality of eggs retrieved

The success rates of egg freezing cycles are significantly influenced by both the number and quality of eggs retrieved. The number of eggs retrieved is important because it directly correlates with the chances of developing viable embryos after thawing. This is definitely a case of “more is more”--the more eggs that are successfully frozen, the higher the probability of having viable embryos when the time comes. 

However, the quality of the retrieved eggs is just as important. High-quality eggs have a better chance of surviving the freezing and thawing process than low-quality ones. So, as you can imagine, a cycle with lots of eggs that are all low-quality isn’t necessarily more successful than another cycle that produced less eggs but they’re all high-quality. 

As a result, fertility providers will always aim to maximize both the quantity and quality of the eggs retrieved. This is essential for improving  the success rates of egg freezing cycles so that, ultimately, we end up with healthier embryos and better chances of a successful pregnancy.

Type of freezing method used 

There are two main techniques used for freezing eggs: slow freezing and vitrification. The slow freezing method involves gradually lowering the temperature of the eggs, which allows ice crystals to form within the cells. This process can damage the delicate internal structure of the eggs, which can lead to lower viability and success rates once the eggs are thawed. In contrast, vitrification is a freezing process that solidifies the eggs quickly without forming ice crystals. This method protects the cell’s internal structures better and has been shown to increase post-thaw survival rates. This in turn, means higher success rates during IVF treatments. It makes complete sense, then, that vitrification has become the preferred way to freeze eggs.

Tips to increase egg freezing success rates

Alright, so now that we’ve established what’s important when it comes to egg freezing, what exactly can you do to maximize these factors for yourself? 

• Consider freezing your eggs at a younger age. There may not be much we can do about the fact that we’re all getting older but in terms of egg freezing, the general rule is that the younger you can do it, the better. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), the ideal time to freeze your eggs is in your 20s and early 30s, while you have more eggs and those eggs are healthier. So, whether you’re 25 or 35, your eggs today are still probably healthier than your eggs in one, five or 10 years!
• Optimize your fertility health before beginning the egg freezing process. This step will look a little different from person to person since everyone has their own unique medical history and concerns. Generally speaking though, optimizing your health will include following a balanced diet and making other healthy lifestyle choices. In some cases, you may want to consider adding certain vitamins and supplements to your regimen too. Make sure to talk to your fertility specialist if you’re not sure!
• Consider using a different type of freezing method. Ask your fertility provider which method they plan to use when freezing your eggs. Vitrification is the more common method now given its improved outcomes when compared to slow freezing but it doesn’t hurt to confirm that this is the method your particular clinic uses.   
• Consider doing multiple egg retrieval cycles. If you have the resources and time to do multiple cycles, this can vastly improve the pool of eggs to choose from in the future. This is an especially helpful option for people who are older or have a low AMH level or AFC. If your fertility provider thinks more cycles will improve your chances, they’ll discuss those recommendations with you.
• Be particular about the clinic you choose. There are a ton of fertility clinics to choose from nowadays, so take the time to do some detective work and find one that works for your needs. If you know people who’ve used a fertility clinic, ask them for their honest opinions. Read reviews. Look up the providers’ credentials (usually listed on the clinic’s website). You can also find out the clinic’s success rates in terms of live births and other important statistics through their website. Schedule a couple consultations to compare your options. Make sure to come with questions and to actually ask them all. If you’re not sure what to ask, check out some suggestions here. 

Emotional considerations

It’s important that we take a second to talk about the emotional side of this experience. For many people, the decision to freeze their eggs is tied to hopes of preserving future fertility. When a lab test or a cycle doesn't yield the desired results, there can be feelings of hopelessness, frustration, sadness, anxiety, and uncertainty about future family planning options. On top of that, this isn’t a cheap or simple process! So there can be disappointment stemming from both the financial and physical investments that have been made. 

Because of all of this, seeking support and guidance throughout this process has to be a priority. Support from both loved ones and through professional counseling can make a huge difference when it comes to coping with the emotions you might be dealing with. 

Establishing clear and open communication with your fertility providers also plays a key part in helping people cope with the challenges that might come up. Your providers know the ins and outs of your particular situation so they’re the most qualified to tell you what you need to prioritize (and what you can ignore) to improve the success of your egg freezing cycle(s).

With all the nuances involved here, it’s important not to get lost in the weeds. Fertility is impacted by so many factors that you can drive yourself crazy trying to manage all of them. Remember, you are more than any number. 

Conclusion

To recap, there are several different factors that can affect the success of an egg freezing cycle including your age, AMH level, AFC, the number and quality of eggs retrieved, and the type of freeing method used. Some of these, you don’t have control over. For the ones you can control, there are a few things you can do. 

Optimizing your fertility health before the egg freezing process, freezing your eggs at a younger age, doing more than one cycle, and using a safer freezing option are all ways that you can improve your chances of a successful freezing cycle. This process can be so overwhelming— focusing on the things that you can control can help you feel more grounded throughout your fertility journey. 

Freeze by Co is here to help you every step of the way on that journey. With our Keep program, you’re able to freeze your eggs and keep them all for yourself, on your timeline. In addition, you’ll have access to our online support community, the Nest. This is a valuable resource that lets you engage with other people freezing their eggs at the same time!

If you are part of Cofertility’s Split Program, or even donating your eggs elsewhere, this is a helpful guide to share with your partner.

At Cofertility, we are on a mission to support individuals and families across different phases of the fertility journey. Our work transcends the boundaries of traditional fertility care, forging connections that breathe life into the dreams of thousands of families, both today and the future. 

Through our unique Split Program, we've had the privilege of working with many egg freezers and donors, and know the experience varies widely. We've witnessed joy, apprehension, hope, and triumph, and we've come to recognize that the process of egg sharing is multifaceted and profound. Our journey with these remarkable individuals has not only exposed us to the wide spectrum of emotions and decisions, but has also underscored the indispensable role of a robust support system throughout the journey. 

Becoming an egg donor presents a multitude of emotional, physical, and ethical considerations. How, then, can friends, family, or significant others support a Split member during this journey? 

In the following guide, we hope to share the insights we've gathered, offering a pathway for those seeking to support a loved one through this journey.

Understand the process

It’s helpful for you to understand the logistical and medical process your partner or loved one is going through. Here are a few guides to get up to speed:

• What's the Egg Retrieval Process Like?
• Everything You Need To Know About Egg Freezing Medication
• The Ultimate Guide to the Split Program
• Disclosed vs. Undisclosed Egg Donation: How Should I Choose?
• What are the Side Effects and Risks of Egg Freezing?

Offer assistance

The Split members' journey with egg freezing will require numerous medical appointments for ultrasounds and bloodwork. Your presence at these appointments can provide a reassuring sense of companionship. 

But the most important task is being their reliable ride home from the egg retrieval procedure (in fact, it’s required that they do not drive after this procedure). This might be a clinic near home or you may be asked to travel with your partner to a clinic near the intended parents (if this is the case, travel expenses for both of you will be covered).

Once they get home, ensuring they have the things they need to be comfortable—whether it's a favorite blanket, soothing tea, or just your comforting presence—can make a significant difference in their experience. These thoughtful actions underscore the human connection at the heart of this medical process, turning what could be a solitary journey into a shared experience of empathy and care.

Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure, and complications are rare. But you should know the red flags. If you notice any of the symptoms below, report them to the healthcare provider asap:

• Temperature above 101 F
• Severe abdominal pain or swelling
• Severe nausea or vomiting that doesn’t go away
• Heavy vaginal bleeding (soaking through a pad in an hour; some light bleeding is normal)
• Difficulty urinating, or painful urination
• Fainting or dizziness

Help with the shots

The first step in the egg freezing process is to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple eggs to be retrieved. This is done with the use of fertility medication, administered in the form of injectable hormones over 10-12 days. 

Helping your loved one with these required injections is huge. This is not a task for everyone, and it's completely understandable if it falls outside your comfort zone. If you do have the capacity and willingness to assist with administering the shots, your help would undoubtedly be appreciated. 

However, even if you prefer not to take a hands-on role, your presence while they give themselves the shot can still make a meaningful difference. 

Simply keeping them company, offering words of encouragement, or offering a little treat (chocolate?) or surprise after each shot can transform an intimidating necessity into a shared moment of support and connection. 

Respect the decision

Friends, family, and partners should respect the donor's autonomy in this deeply personal decision. Recognize that this choice belongs solely to the person making it, and it may reflect a multitude of considerations, both practical and emotional.

Respecting this decision requires acknowledging your partner's autonomy and avoiding any attempts to influence or question her choice. Supporting her means listening without judgment, asking thoughtful questions to understand her perspective, and reassuring her of your support.

Research shows that egg donors are generally happy with their decision and the vast majority do not regret it (in one study of an egg sharing program, only 2.1% regretted their decision to participate). And anecdotally speaking, donors we work with at Cofertility are grateful for the opportunity to donate their eggs and keep half of the eggs retrieved for their own future use, for free. 

Concerns and curiosity are natural, but they must be handled with delicacy and empathy. Being there for her doesn't mean agreeing with her on every point but rather offering a safe space where she can express her feelings and thoughts freely.

Empirical studies on autonomy and healthcare decisions reinforce the importance of respecting individual choices, particularly those concerning one's body and reproductive rights. In the context of egg donation, this principle becomes paramount, reflecting the ethical, emotional, and personal dimensions of the choice at hand.

Celebrate the achievement

Egg freezing and donation can be an expression of personal values, a decision that encapsulates a woman's beliefs, or simply an achievement that deserves acknowledgment and celebration.

Celebrating this achievement can take many forms, from simple words of congratulations and admiration to more elaborate expressions of support. It might mean throwing a small celebration, writing a heartfelt letter, or finding another personal way to convey pride and gratitude.

Celebration does not necessarily mean a public declaration but rather an authentic and personal acknowledgment of the strength, courage, and compassion embodied in the decision itself. The act of recognizing and honoring this choice can create a shared moment of joy and connection, strengthening the bonds between the donor and those closest to her.

In summary

Through our work with hundreds of donors, we've learned that the path is never solitary, nor should it be. The role of friends, family, partners, and significant others in this process cannot be overstated.

From understanding the technical aspects of the process to being a comforting presence during medical appointments, offering assistance with injections, respecting personal choices, and celebrating the decision, the support system surrounding a donor becomes an integral part of the experience. These connections not only ease the logistical and emotional challenges but transform the process into a shared journey that's imbued with empathy, respect, and love.

Our commitment to supporting individuals and families remains unwavering. By fostering a robust network of support and sharing our insights, we hope to make the journey not only more approachable but also more meaningful. The dreams of creating and nurturing life are collective ones, and we at Cofertility are honored to be part of these intimate and extraordinary stories.

Donating your eggs is an extraordinarily generous act. As an egg donor, you have the potential to help a family struggling with infertility or a same-sex couple realize their dreams of parenthood. But the decision to donate eggs is not one to be taken lightly, and it's natural to want the support and understanding of your family as you embark on this journey.

If your family is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.

Should I tell my family I’m an egg donor? 

While there is no right answer, one thing is for certain, your decision to donate is yours and yours alone, and so is your decision to tell them… or not. This means you are the one who can best make this decision.

So when thinking through this decision, it is helpful to think about the relationships you have and what you feel comfortable telling those close to you. How supportive will they be about your decision? Do you feel afraid they might criticize you or not understand why you would want to do this, or try and talk you out of it? What is your fear or concern about telling, and how do you think this information will impact your relationships?

Read more in Should I Tell People I'm Donating My Eggs?

Common questions family members may have

What is the medical risk?

Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occuring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%). That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval.  Side effects are typically mild and short-lived.

Egg donation requires a series of hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries into producing multiple eggs during a single cycle. You can assure your family that these medications are prescribed under the careful supervision of a fertility doctor.

The egg retrieval process itself is a minor surgical procedure done under sedation, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. Post-procedure discomfort is typically minimal and can be managed with over-the-counter pain relievers. 

You can remind your family that all steps of this process are carefully monitored by experienced fertility doctors who prioritize your health and safety above all.

Will egg donation impact your ability to have kids in the future? 

Egg donation, which is the same medical procedure as egg freezing, won’t lower your egg reserve and it won’t affect your chances of getting pregnant naturally when you’re ready to do so. In fact, participating in our Split program – where you freeze your eggs for free when donating half to another family – can actually increase your chances of having a baby down the line because you are preserving younger eggs. 

Who are the parents that need donor eggs?

Many types of families need egg donors to grow their family, including people facing infertility, LGBTQ+ couples, cancer survivors, women with age-related fertility decline, and more. 

Sharing more about the family you are matched with can help humanize the experience.

What will your relationship be like with the intended parents?

The level of contact with the intended parents is highly dependent on the agreement you reach beforehand. Some arrangements are undisclosed, with no information exchanged between you and the IPs. Other arrangements are disclosed, allowing varying degrees of communication and contact, such as the exchange of letters or even face-to-face meetings.

Your choice about the type of relationship you wish to have with the IPs is up to you, and you should assure your family that you will make the choice that feels right.

What are the legal implications?

Understanding the legal rights and obligations associated with egg donation is important. You can let your family know that before the egg donation process begins, you will sign a legal contract that outlines the rights and obligations of all parties involved. This includes an agreement to relinquish all parental rights to any children born from the donated eggs. 

All donors are given independent legal representation – at  no expense – to explain the contract and ensure all your interests are protected. 

How does Cofertility work?

Cofertility’s Split program offers women a chance to both freeze their own eggs and donate half the eggs to a family who cannot conceive otherwise. Every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure —  medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge. 

Cofertility assigns a Member Advocate to each donor to support her throughout the entire journey. They’ll be there every step of the way as appointments get scheduled and plans for the cycle are made. No question is too small for Cofertility’s Member Advocate team. Plus, Split members have support of our entire community of others going through the same process.

How many babies are born via egg donation each year?

The exact number of babies born via egg donation each year can be difficult to determine due to variations in reporting standards worldwide. However, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 12% of all in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures in the United States involve the use of donor eggs. This suggests that thousands of babies are born each year thanks to egg donation.

How much time will it take?

Egg donation isn't a quick process, but the timeline can vary depending on several factors, including your menstrual cycle and the matching process with intended parents. The process begins with an application, followed by a screening process, which can take several weeks. 

Once approved and matched with the IPs, you'll start the ovarian stimulation process, which takes about two weeks. This involves daily hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries. The egg retrieval procedure is scheduled once the eggs are mature, typically after 10-14 days of stimulation. Following the retrieval, you will have a brief recovery period, usually a day or two, to allow any minor discomfort or side effects to dissipate. You will know immediately how many eggs were retrieved and frozen for your own future use. 

In total, from match to recovery, the process can take anywhere from two to four months.

Final thoughts

Your family's concerns and questions about your decision to become an egg donor are understandable. They want to ensure your safety and wellbeing, and these are valid concerns. 

As you discuss the process, remind them of your reasons for making this choice and assure them of your commitment to understanding and minimizing the risks involved. Encourage them to accompany you to a medical consultation if possible, to provide them an opportunity to hear information directly from professionals, and to ask any questions they may have.

Your act of egg donation could bring immense joy to a couple longing for a child. It's a profound decision, and having your family's understanding and support will undoubtedly make the journey smoother.

Donating your eggs is an extraordinarily generous act. As an egg donor, you have the potential to help a family struggling with infertility or a same-sex couple realize their dreams of parenthood. But the decision to donate eggs is not one to be taken lightly, and it's natural to want the support and understanding of your family as you embark on this journey.

If your partner is unfamiliar with the egg donation process, they may have numerous questions and concerns. Some of the most common questions revolve around the medical risks involved, potential contact with the intended parents (IPs), and the timeline of the whole process. Here's a guide to help you address these concerns.

Should I tell my partner/boyfriend/spouse I want to donate my eggs? 

While it is absolutely within your right to keep this information private, there are considerations that might sway you toward opening up about it.

First, it may be hard to hide. The egg donation process involves medical appointments, injections, and potentially some down time after the egg retrieval. It could become difficult to keep these aspects concealed, especially if you and your partner share many aspects of daily life. From a practical standpoint, hiding the process may add unnecessary stress or complications.

Second, you might want their support. Sharing the decision with your partner can foster open communication and enable emotional support throughout the process. It provides an opportunity for your partner to understand your motivations and to be part of the experience, even if only as a listener or a helping hand.

Your partner's reaction to this decision might also provide valuable insights into the relationship's dynamics. If the response is dismissive, excessively critical, or unsupportive, it may be a red flag that prompts further reflection on compatibility and shared values. Conversely, a supportive partner's response can strengthen the relationship, building deeper trust and empathy.

While there is no right answer, one thing is for certain, your decision to donate is yours and yours alone, and so is your decision to tell them… or not. This means you are the one who can best make this decision.

Read more in: Should I Tell People I'm Donating My Eggs? 

Common questions partners may have

What is the medical risk?

Egg freezing is considered a safe procedure. In a single egg freezing cycle, the risk of a serious adverse event is under 2.5%. Severe OHSS accounts for the majority of complications, occurring in 0.1-2% of cycles. The risk of other acute complications, including pelvic infection, intraperitoneal hemorrhage, or ovarian torsion, is small (<0.5%). That being said, many women do experience minor side effects – like bloating, constipation, nausea – from the medications and egg retrieval.  Side effects are typically mild and short-lived.

Egg donation requires a series of hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries into producing multiple eggs during a single cycle. You can assure your partner that these medications are prescribed under the careful supervision of a fertility doctor.

The egg retrieval process itself is a minor surgical procedure done under sedation, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. Post-procedure discomfort is typically minimal and can be managed with over-the-counter pain relievers. 

You can remind your partner that all steps of this process are carefully monitored by experienced, board-certified fertility doctors who prioritize your health and safety above all.

Will you be freezing eggs or embryos and why?

If you’re in a relationship with a biologically male partner, they may be wondering if you are going to freeze embryos or eggs. 

While it’s true that thawing success rates can be slightly higher for embryos than eggs (at a 95% survival rate vs 90% for eggs), the downside is that once an egg is fertilized with sperm, there’s no going back, so freezing eggs instead of embryos will give you more options down the line. 

We know, this might be a little bit of an awkward one to bring up with your partner, but it might come up at some point, so the best you can do is be prepared with the facts.

Read more in:

• Should I Freeze Eggs or Embryos?
• We Asked Four Women: Did You Freeze Eggs or Embryos?

Will egg donation impact your ability to have kids in the future? 

Egg donation, which is the same medical procedure as egg freezing, won’t lower your egg reserve and it won’t affect your chances of getting pregnant naturally when you’re ready to do so. 

In fact, participating in our Split program – where you freeze your eggs for free when donating half to another family – can actually increase your chances of having a baby down the line because you are preserving younger eggs. 

Who are the parents that need donor eggs?

Many types of families need egg donors to grow their family, including people facing infertility, LGBTQ+ couples, cancer survivors, women with age-related fertility decline, and more. 

Sharing more about the family you are matched with can help humanize the experience.

What will your relationship be like with the intended parents?

The level of contact with the intended parents is highly dependent on the agreement you reach beforehand. Some arrangements are undisclosed, with no information exchanged between you and the IPs. Other arrangements are disclosed, allowing varying degrees of communication and contact, such as the exchange of letters or even face-to-face meetings.

Your choice about the type of relationship you wish to have with the IPs is up to you, and you should assure your partner that you will make the choice that feels right.

Does this mean our future kids will have siblings out there?

Technically speaking, children born from your donated eggs would share a genetic link with you, as well as with any of your existing biological relatives. However, neither you nor your partner would have any legal or parental ties to these children.

A sentiment eloquently expressed by one of our egg donors to her boyfriend captures this nuance: “I view egg donation as an act of helping others realize their family dreams. The children born from my eggs will belong to their own families, not ours. While the connection may be biological, it isn't familial."

What are the legal implications?

Understanding the legal rights and obligations associated with egg donation is important. You can let your partner know that before the egg donation process begins, you will sign a legal contract that outlines the rights and obligations of all parties involved. This includes an agreement to relinquish all parental rights to any children born from the donated eggs. 

How does Cofertility work?

Cofertility’s Split program offers women a chance to both freeze their own eggs and donate half the eggs to a family who cannot conceive otherwise. Every expense associated with the egg freezing procedure —  medications, supplements, travel if necessary, insurance, and 10 years of storage — are completely free of charge. 

Cofertility assigns a Member Advocate to each donor to support her throughout the entire journey. They’ll be there every step of the way as appointments get scheduled and plans for the cycle are made. No question is too small for Cofertility’s Member Advocate team. Plus, Split members have support of our entire community of others going through the same process.

How much time will it take?

The timeline can vary depending on several factors, including your menstrual cycle and the matching process with intended parents. The process begins with an application, followed by a screening process, which can take several weeks. 

Once approved and matched with the IPs, you'll start the ovarian stimulation process, which takes about two weeks. This involves daily hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries. The egg retrieval procedure is scheduled once the eggs are mature, typically after 10-14 days of stimulation. Following the retrieval, you will have a brief recovery period, usually a day or two, to allow any minor discomfort or side effects to dissipate. You will know immediately how many eggs were retrieved and frozen for your own future use. 

In total, from match to retrieval, the process can take anywhere from two to four months.

Will you get enough eggs to use in the future?

Being part of Cofertility’s program means you passed rigorous medical screening, including AMH and antral follicle count, and that our medical team and the doctor performing the egg retrieval believe you are a good candidate for egg sharing. This doesn’t guarantee that you will get a lot of eggs, but it is pretty predictable. 

Furthermore, a UK study of egg sharing amongst IVF patients found that participating in an egg sharing program did not compromise the chance of achieving a pregnancy or live birth for the egg sharer or the recipient.

Summing it up

Your partner’s concerns and questions about your decision to become an egg donor are understandable. They want to ensure your safety and wellbeing, and these are valid concerns.

As you discuss the process, remind them of your reasons for making this choice and assure them of your commitment to understanding and minimizing the risks involved. Encourage them to accompany you to a medical consultation if possible, to provide them an opportunity to hear information directly from professionals, and to ask any questions they may have.

Your act of egg donation could bring immense joy to a family longing for a child. It's a beautiful decision, and having your partner’s understanding and support will undoubtedly make the journey even sweeter.

Read more:

• I'm a Psychologist: Here's How to Talk to Your Partner About Donating Your Eggs
• How To Talk To Your Family About Donating Your Eggs
• How to Support Your Partner Through the Cofertility Split Program
• Does Donating Eggs Affect Your Fertility?

Rachel Liverman Crane is the Founder & CEO of the East Coast skincare facial concept Glow Bar. Yet, her dynamic life doesn't end with her professional achievements; she's also taken a bold step in her personal life by freezing her eggs — a journey made even more remarkable by overcoming medical anxiety, a common fear that affects many people facing medical procedures.

Medical anxiety is more than a fleeting concern; it's a genuine fear that can hinder individuals from pursuing necessary or elective medical treatments. In Rachel's case, it was a hurdle she had to conquer on her path to securing future family planning options.

Her journey reflects a blend of determination, pragmatism, and an unwavering belief in one's self, sending a strong message to others about the power of informed choices and the beauty of self-confidence. By bravely facing her fears, Rachel serves as an inspiration to others who may be on the fence about egg freezing. Whether it's expanding a skincare brand or planning for a future family, she navigates life with grace, wisdom, and a touch of humor, embodying the future's endless possibilities.

In a candid interview with us, Rachel shares this journey, opening up about her experience with egg freezing and how she overcame the anxiety that often accompanies medical decisions.

Deciding to freeze

At the age of 35, while single and deeply focused on growing her business, Rachel made the decision to freeze her eggs. Recognizing that she wouldn't be having children in the immediate future, she saw this as a way to retain her focus on her career without the looming pressure of biological timing. "I figured I would freeze my eggs so my focus could remain on my career and not have the pressure of having kids feel so strong."

The process resulted in a "lucky dozen" of 12 eggs, with nine being frozen. Her AMH was 1.81, and she candidly shares her experience, describing herself as an "open book."

Embracing the process even with medical anxiety

When asked what she was most nervous about, Rachel replied, “The shots, the blood draws every morning, the anesthesia, the IV, the recovery — I worried about it all!”

“But in the end”, she says, “it was so simple and my doctor and his team took such great care of me the entire way.”

Having seen friends go through it, she knew what to expect, although the physical discomfort and bloating after retrieval did surprise her. “The thing that surprised me the most was how bloated and uncomfortable that would feel after the retrieval process.”

What stands out, however, is the empowerment and strength she felt after going through this elective procedure, particularly given her medical anxiety. "I was really proud of myself for doing something that scared me for my future self!" 

Rachel, we’re proud of you too!

Facing the hard parts head-on

The journey wasn't without its challenges. The financial burden was a difficult aspect for her. As a startup founder, making such a significant investment had a real impact. Still, the sacrifice was worth it, even if it meant missing events like close friends' weddings abroad. "I don't have any regrets," she asserts.

Read more about paying for egg freezing:

• How to Pay for Egg Freezing
• How to Freeze Your Eggs for Free
• Does Insurance Cover Egg Freezing?

Choosing Dr. Joshua Stewart at Dr. Joshua Stewart at Cornell for the procedure, she feels the decision has had a profoundly positive effect on her professional life. It allowed her to prioritize her career, team, and business without sacrificing personal aspirations.

Looking back and looking ahead

Looking back, the only thing she might have done differently is to take supplements or seek acupuncture to support her eggs. Yet, she considers the freezing of her eggs as part of her journey, jokingly referring to them as her "insurance plan" and the possibility of thawing these "cuties" to make babies if and when needed.

Rachel says that her relationships and dating life remained unaffected. Freezing her eggs just became "another part of me," not altering her approach to dating or personal relationships.

Advice for others

Her advice for others considering this path is wise and considerate. She urges people to talk to others who have undergone the process, ask questions, advocate for themselves, and not to push themselves if it doesn't feel right.

"Don't feel pressure to do this if it doesn't feel right for you. It's a serious and expensive procedure, so make sure that this is something that you really care about and feel is right for you and where you are today.” We couldn’t agree more!

The gift registry has been a cultural institution for pivotal life moments — from the gilded spoons and Ninja blenders of wedding registries to the cute little onesies of baby shower lists. These wish lists give friends and family an easy way to provide support that you actually want. 

But what if we took this concept and applied it to another life milestone that is also super exciting? This brings us to the idea of an egg freezing registry. Yes, you heard that right. An egg freezing registry.

On Sex and the City, after celebrating countless weddings and babies, Carrie Bradshaw famously took matters into her own hands and created her own registry in honor of her marriage to herself. Her registry had just one item — a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. Our take? If Carrie can celebrate herself, you can, too. Especially when you’re doing something so incredible for your future as freezing your eggs. 

Why you deserve an egg freezing registry

You may be wondering, particularly in a society that still wrestles with norms surrounding reproductive choices, as to whether you “deserve” to have a registry for something as personal and medical as egg freezing. The answer is a resounding YES, and here’s why.

Normalizing reproductive autonomy

Creating a registry for egg freezing can help normalize the conversation around reproductive autonomy and shatter persisting taboos. Women have long been subject to societal pressures about when and how they should have children. The ability to crowdfund one’s egg freezing process (or at least get some goodies covered) is a bold statement of agency, positioning the egg freezer not as a subject of societal expectations but as an architect of her own life.

Creating a registry for egg freezing can help normalize the conversation around reproductive autonomy and shatter persisting taboos.

Solidifying social support

The explicit act of creating a registry — and having loved ones contribute to it — serves as a profound endorsement of your choices. The communal act of contributing to a registry can offer emotional sustenance and make sure you know that your community is invested in your well-being, present and future.

Lessening the financial load

Financial obstacles should not dictate reproductive choices. Just as registries for weddings or baby showers are widely accepted tools for “getting someone started” with the essentials, an egg freezing registry is a legitimate way to help offset some of the costs.

A reimagined social contract

Finally, having an egg freezing registry reinforces a modernized social contract. At its core, a registry is an agreement among a community that signifies its collective investment in a significant life event. Weddings are not just about the couple, and baby showers are not just about the parents; they are about a larger circle of family and friends who will interact with that couple or child and want to support and celebrate them. Similarly, an egg freezing registry proclaims that a woman's reproductive choices are worth communal support, thus redefining the very ethos of what our social contracts can include.

So, do you deserve to have an egg freezing registry? Absolutely. In doing so, you're not only giving yourself the gift of choice but also expanding the societal dialogue around what choice can and should look like.

What should I add to my egg freezing registry?

One of the most exciting possibilities of an egg freezing registry is the potential to ask for specific add-ons that could aid in your egg freezing journey. Here are some ideas:

• Nutritional supplements: Omega-3s, prenatal vitamins, and other supplements to prepare your body for your cycle.
• Heating pad: Useful for post-procedure comfort and relief from cramps.
• Fuzzy socks: These make the often-cold clinic rooms and stirrup-bound procedures markedly more comfortable.
• Chocolates/other treats: Emotional well-being is part and parcel of the egg freezing journey; indulgent treats can serve as small but potent morale boosters.
• Wellness packages: Sessions for acupuncture or fertility yoga, aimed at enhancing both emotional and physical well-being.
• Books and journals: Literature on reproductive health, fertility journeys, or self-reflective journals.
• Travel vouchers: For those who choose clinics far from home, these can cover transportation or even lodging costs.
• Food delivery/meal prep: Gift cards to services like Doordash, Uber Eats, HelloFresh, Goldbelly, can help keep you well fed during the egg freezing period. 
• Bath bombs: For pre- or post-procedure relaxation, because a soothing bath can be a sanctuary in stressful times.
• Other relaxation aids: Consider adding aromatherapy oils, scented candles, or a premium-quality eye mask for deep relaxation.

You’ll want to diversify the options on your registry to make it easier for contributors to select gifts that align with their budget and your needs. These practical and comfort-focused gifts not only provide material relief but also serve as tokens of emotional support from your community.

Tips for hosting and sharing your egg freezing registry

So where could you host such a registry? Existing platforms could easily be adapted for this purpose. A few possibilities include:

• Amazon: Given its almost universal reach and diverse product range.
• Target: A favorite for baby shower registries, the leap to egg freezing isn't a big one.
• GoFundMe: Already a popular choice for medical crowdfunding, this platform could provide a natural fit if you just need cash.
• Meal Train: Makes it easy for friends and family to help feed you!

Spreading the word about your egg freezing registry

Creating the registry is the first half of the equation; sharing it with your network is the other, equally nuanced, half. The act of disseminating your egg freezing registry becomes not just an invitation for contributions but also an opening for dialogue, education, and emotional connection. 

Much like sharing any significant life news, timing is pivotal. You may want to inform the closest people in your life individually before broadcasting it more broadly. 

When you share your registry, include a personalized message explaining why you've chosen to freeze your eggs and how their support can be instrumental. This humanizes what might otherwise seem like a straightforward transaction, adding layers of meaning and context.

We recommend emphasizing that you appreciate any support or celebration and that there is zero pressure to contribute. There are multiple ways to show support, be it emotional or material. This may be especially helpful to include, as some recipients may be financially constrained or morally conflicted.

As your journey progresses, keeping your contributors updated adds an extra layer of engagement and acknowledgment. It’s an opportunity to show the impact of their support, which goes beyond monetary contributions and enters the realm of emotional sustenance.

Creating an egg freezing registry is more than a logistical step; it’s an emotional and sociocultural undertaking that can serve various roles: a litmus test for societal progress, a platform for dialogue, and an arena for collective emotional investment. Navigate it with the same sensitivity and thoughtfulness you applied when deciding to freeze your eggs in the first place, and you can open up spaces not just for communal contributions but for meaningful human connections as well.

Freeze your eggs with Cofertility

We’d love the opportunity to support you on your egg freezing journey.

Through our Split program, qualified freezers can freeze their eggs for free when donating half of the eggs retrieved to a family who can’t otherwise conceive.

Through our Keep program — where you keep 100% of eggs retrieved for your own future use — we offer exclusive discounts on expenses, such as frozen egg storage. Keep members also still gain free access to our Freeze by Co Community, a safe space for those engaging in the egg freezing process (or gearing up for it) to connect and lean on each other.

By making egg freezing easier and more accessible, our programs further strengthen the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)’s Committee opinion that egg freezing can help promote social justice and strengthen gender equality.

Egg donation is an incredible way for women to help others fulfill their dreams of parenthood — but you might be wondering, what does “egg donation” actually mean? The process involves several steps, and it’s important to have a rock-solid understanding of what’s involved before moving forward with donating your eggs. 

In this article, we’ll explore the intricacies of egg donation, why women choose to donate their eggs, dispel common myths about egg donation, and share more about how the Cofertility Split program is a unique approach to egg donation. 

How egg donation works

Egg donation is a medical process in which a woman provides her eggs to assist another individual or couple in conceiving a child. This process can be a beacon of hope for those struggling with infertility, same-sex couples, or individuals who cannot use their eggs for various medical reasons, like cancer survivors. 

The egg donation process, step-by-step

Screening and matching

As a first step, if you’re interested in donating your eggs, you can apply to Freeze by Co’s programs by answering a few quick questions about yourself. If you qualify, you’ll move on to the full application where you’ll provide some information about your family medical history, genetic background, and motivations for going through the process.  

Once you’ve been accepted into Freeze by Co’s Split program — where you can freeze your eggs for free when you donate half of the eggs retrieved to another family who can’t conceive — you’ll immediately join our member community, where you can connect with others at the exact same point in the process, lean on each other, and learn from one another. 

As you await your intended parent match, you’ll undergo some bloodwork at a local lab to get an idea of your potential ovarian reserve (or egg count) ahead of time. This helps give everyone the confidence that you’ll get enough eggs to share. Once you match with an intended parent, you’ll then undergo in-person medical and psych testing before moving on to legal contracts, your stimulation cycle, and retrieval. 

Donating eggs is a big deal, and not to be taken lightly on either end — so these first screening steps are incredibly important!  

Legal 

Once you’ve entered into a match with intended parents and you’ve passed your initial physical screening, you will enter into a legal agreement with the intended parents. This document will lay out all specifics regarding your and the intended parents’ rights throughout the process. Specifically, it will note that by donating your eggs, you waive all rights to those eggs and are not considered the parent of any resulting embryos or children.

This contract also provides the opportunity to put into writing your preferences around disclosure and communication, and intended parents will do the same. Ultimately, this is a vital step throughout the process — and at Cofertility, we provide members of our Split program legal counsel to ensure they are represented fairly.

Stimulation and retrieval

Once you’ve been given the green light, you’ll begin your egg donation cycle. During your 10-14 day cycle, you’ll take injectable hormone medications daily to stimulate your ovaries to produce multiple egg-containing follicles. Frequent monitoring via quick blood tests and ultrasounds will ensure that your eggs are reaching peak maturity prior to retrieval. As the eggs mature, you may feel some bloating.

When the eggs reach maturity, a minor surgical procedure known as an egg retrieval is performed under sedation. A specialized needle is used to extract the eggs from your ovaries, and it’s a relatively quick procedure, and you’ll go home that day to get some rest. Your doctor will monitor you closely afterwards and check in after the procedure to ensure there are no complications. 

Your half of the eggs will be frozen and safely stored for up to 10 years for free. The other half will go to the family you matched with. 

Read more:

• Egg Freezing: How Long Can My Eggs Be Stored?
• Egg Freezing Thaw Rates

So, why would a woman donate her eggs? 

There are many reasons why someone might donate her eggs, but the main rationale we tend to hear falls into a few main categories: 

• Empathy and compassion: Many women choose to donate their eggs out of a desire to help others experience the joy of parenthood. They want to make a meaningful difference in someone's life and recognize the emotional struggles of those trying to bring children into the world, especially if they know someone first-hand who has faced family-building challenges.
• Ethical considerations: Many egg donors share a strong belief in reproductive autonomy, allowing individuals and couples to make choices about their family-building journey.
• Opportunity to freeze your eggs for free: Egg donation can also offer financial compensation to donors, though the exact amount varies by location and agency. Our Split program instead offers a unique approach, allowing women to freeze their eggs for free when they donate half the eggs retrieved to another family. 

Facts and myths about egg donation

When it comes to egg donation, there’s a ton of misinformation out there — let’s dive into some of the big myths you may come across and dissect which ones are fact vs. fiction.

Can you still have kids after donating eggs?

Yes. Donating eggs does not affect a woman's ability to have children in the future. A stimulation and retrieval cycle involves such a small fraction of a woman’s total egg supply, which the body replenishes. That said, it's essential to consider your own family-building goals with a healthcare provider before becoming a donor — which is why we offer our Split program. Those participating in the program are able to preserve a bit of their own fertility while doing something amazing for another family.

Read more in Does Donating Eggs Affect Your Fertility?

Are donor eggs your baby?

Nope. Donor eggs are *not* babies. They are half of the genetic material used for the child of the intended parent(s), with the remaining genetic material coming from the sperm provider (the intended parent or a sperm donor). A donor's contribution is solely the eggs, not the full genetic makeup of the child. And, as mentioned above, as part of the process you’ll sign a legal agreement clarifying that you do not have rights to any embryos or children resulting from these eggs. 

Will I experience psychological impact? 

Yes — but in a good way! If screened and educated properly (this is a big “if”), anyone donating eggs should have full informed consent about the donation process and everything involved. All egg donors should undergo thorough psychological assessments and have access to counseling before, during, and after the process to ensure their emotional well being.

At Freeze by Co, our model removes cash compensation from the egg donation process (rather, enabling women in our Split program to freeze half of the eggs for their own future use for free). We’ve designed the program to provide Split members with the opportunity to not only preserve some of their own fertility future, but also help another family. This way, everyone involved can feel good about the journey.

Read more in Will I Regret Donating My Eggs?

Donating eggs through Cofertility's Split program

Cofertility's Split program is a unique approach to egg donation that distinguishes itself from traditional methods rooted in cash compensation and icky practices. Our program helps provide everyone — both the person freezing and donating their eggs and the intended parent(s) — with autonomy to grow their family, whether that’s today, or maybe some time in the future. 

Members of our Split program get to keep half of the eggs retrieved, plus:

• Free storage of their own eggs in cryopreservation for up to 10 years
• Coverage of all medical costs for the egg donation process
• Connection to the Cofertility community for support all along the way and after too 
• The ability to work with the intended parents to decide together what your relationship will look like

If giving your eggs to intended parents sounds like something you would like to do, you may be able to qualify for the free egg freezing process and have your donation process covered too.

Take our quiz to see if you qualify for our Split program today! 

We believe that every donor deserves to have a positive and empowering experience, and we are committed to making that a reality. That’s why Cofertility was named one of the Best Egg Donor Programs by Egg Donor Connect.

Cofertility is a human-first fertility ecosystem rewriting the egg freezing and egg donation experience. Our Split program allows women to freeze their eggs at no cost, when they donate half to a family that could not otherwise conceive. We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive.

Today, I have the privilege of sitting down with one of our Split members to delve into her personal journey—why she chose to freeze her eggs through our program, how she navigated the emotional toll, and the future she envisages for herself and her family. By peeling back the layers, we seek to understand not just the practicalities but also the emotional and psychological nuances of this choice.

Why did you decide to freeze your eggs through Cofertility’s Split program? What were the factors that led to this decision?

I had considered donating my eggs a few times before I had heard of Cofertility, but it had never moved beyond it being an idea in my head because it never felt right. Most of the marketing I saw about egg donation focused on the monetary benefits, which I understood because it is an invasive procedure, but they never talked about where your eggs were going. It felt very impersonal and that I would have no control or say in where these eggs would go. 

I had not considered it again until I heard about Cofertility on Instagram. When I first learned about the idea of helping a couple to conceive while also protecting your own fertility I thought it was genius and wondered why this wasn't an option already. My company does not have egg freezing benefits so egg freezing wasn't something I had been planning to do. 

Cofertility's split option gave me an opportunity I hadn't even considered - egg donation that didn't feel as yucky and a chance to preserve my own fertility without a huge price tag. It really felt surreal that I would be able to freeze my eggs and not worry so much about a timeline to decide on kids. 

What was the hardest part of the process?

Overall, I really felt that Cofertility made this process quite easy for me. Having a Member Advocate throughout the entire process was incredible, and not having that person switch or change made it really easy to build up the trust. 

At the clinic I went to I saw various nurses and doctors, but my Cofertility Member Advocate stayed the same and that consistency was extremely impactful to my mental health throughout the process.

At the clinic I went to I saw various nurses and doctors, but my Cofertility Member Advocate stayed the same and that consistency was extremely impactful to my mental health throughout the process. Out of the entire process, I would say the number of appointments and the amount of time needed during the two-week hormone cycle was probably the hardest. Getting blood drawn multiple times a week, followed by doctors appointments, and all the waiting that comes with both does require time investment. I would try to make my appointments as early in the morning as possible to not interfere with my work, but giving yourself grace and flexibility for those two weeks is necessary. I am fortunate to have the flexibility at my job and work with a group of people that were extremely supportive of what I was going through, but if you are someone who is not used to the process it can feel like a lot of time out of your control.

Was there anything that you were nervous about, but ended up not being as bad as you thought?

I was most nervous about the shots going into it, but they ended up not being as bad as I had expected them to be. For the most part, the needles were much shorter and thinner than I expected and I was able to do all of the shots myself. 

In fact, once I did my first one I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment for being able to do it. Cofertility had given me a goody bag when I started my cycle and the little ice pack was wonderful for any post-shot discomfort. I also tried to pair the shots with a treat for myself as a little reward... give myself a shot and have some chocolate, give myself a shot and watch a show I love, give myself a shot and do a little online shopping. This process was all new and different for my body so I tried to give myself grace and love throughout it!

Read about egg freezing shots in I'm Afraid of Needles; Can I Still Freeze My Eggs?

Did freezing your eggs affect your relationships or dating life in any way? How did you navigate these aspects during the process?

When thinking about the people I know who have gone through the egg freezing journey, they were all in different stages of their dating / relationship journey. Some were casually dating and not looking for anything serious, some had a new partner that they hoped would turn into something serious, and some were with a long-term partner but not ready to build their family further than that yet. I fall into that last category. When I decided to freeze my eggs with Cofertility, my husband and I had been together for 9 years and married for one. While we were very serious about each other, we weren't sure if or when we wanted kids, but we knew we didn't want them now. My husband was very supportive of the idea of freezing my eggs for our own future use, but I was curious how he would feel about me donating eggs to another family. When I brought it up to him he truly had less hesitation than I even had. His perspective from day one has been that it is my body and if I feel comfortable with the choice then he is here to support me. That position did not change throughout the process, and if anything he (similar to myself) felt more confident each day with the decision to "split" once we met the intended parents and got to know them more. 

I feel very lucky to have had a supportive partner to go through this with and someone who trusted my choices 100%. I know this route is something that may take some partners time to digest and understand, but I think in the end the most important thing is that you, as the person freezing and donating your eggs, feel that this is right for you. 

Read more in Want to Donate Your Eggs? Tips on Talking It Over with Your Partner

How did you manage the emotional and psychological aspects of freezing and donating your eggs? 

Looking back, the opportunity to know the parents who I was donating the eggs to played a huge role in managing the donation emotionally and psychologically. When I first learned about Cofertility I wasn't sure if I would want to have a disclosed donation. I was worried about what that would mean and what that relationship would look like. 

After learning more about egg donation, it was clear that there is no such thing as an anonymous donor due to the genetic testing that exists today. If I wanted to donate my eggs, I needed to be okay that the child(ren) that they created would be able to know who I am at some point in their life. This was something that I thought over for a while and researched how DCP (Donor Conceived People) felt about. I wanted to know that I was doing the right thing for the possible children that came from these eggs - my own and the intended parents'.

In the end I felt really good about my decision to have a disclosed donation. Knowing that both the intended parents and myself were on the same page on this built a foundation of care and immense respect for the other party.

In the end I felt really good about my decision to have a disclosed donation. Knowing that both the intended parents and myself were on the same page on this built a foundation of care and immense respect for the other party. I have always shared with them that I want to follow their lead on what feels right throughout the process and the years to come and they have been great communicators of what they want while respecting my choices as well. This relationship, along with the huge support from Cofertility, made the process really supportive of my mental health. I went into it wondering if the combination of doing something totally new, medications / hormones, and other life stress would be hard to handle, but I think the peace of mind that comes with preserving your fertility hugely outweighed any weight from those factors. 

What are your plans for the future regarding your frozen eggs? How do you envision incorporating them into your family-building journey, if applicable?

Right now, my husband and I haven't decided when we will start to build our family. In a perfect and easy world, we would have no trouble conceiving and the eggs I have frozen wouldn't need to be used, but I have seen for so many people I love this is not always the case. Whether we use the eggs to conceive all of our future children, conceive naturally at first then need to use the eggs for later children, or not use the eggs at all, it gives me so much peace of mind to know that they are there and we took this step to preserve my fertility. It is not an insurance plan, but it feels good to know that Cofertility opened a door for me that otherwise I likely would not have opened on my own.

Lastly, what advice would you give to someone who is considering freezing and donating their eggs? Are there any important factors they should keep in mind?

The biggest advice I would have is to really understand if you want your egg freezing journey to be something that happens and you are done with it or if you are open to something that will be a little part of you for your life. 

What I mean by this is that if you freeze your eggs without donating you go through the process, the injections, and the retrieval and then you are done unless you one day need to use those eggs. When you freeze your eggs and donate half you go through that same process, but in the future there may be a DCP that reaches out to you once they are 18 to try to make a connection, or intended parents that reach out when they need additional family medical history, or maybe you have a closer relationship with the intended parents and you get annual cards with updates of the DCP. 

No matter the case, there is a possibility that your involvement with egg donation does not end entirely when the eggs are physically donated. This was something I really thought hard about and found a lot of peace with. The process that Cofertility leads you through with speaking to a fertility counselor both alone and with the intended parents helped with that as well. 

On top of the counseling, having a clear contract and great legal support (Cofertility also helps with recommending representation) gave me peace of mind that I knew and agreed to all boundaries in the donation.

I truly think egg donation is such a meaningful thing to do, helping someone who wants to be a parent so badly conceive is truly life changing and I am so grateful to Cofertility for giving me the opportunity to help out an amazing couple and also preserve my own fertility in the process.

Read more:

• The Ultimate Guide to the Split Program
• 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Donating Your Eggs
• Will I Regret Donating My Eggs?

In 2012, when the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) removed the “experimental” label off of egg freezing, it began a new era of empowering women with taking control of their reproductive choices. 

According to SART data, egg freezing in the United States increased by 880% between 2010 and 2016. In a recent 2021 study, a total of 231 patients with 280 cycles were reviewed. 74.2% of oocytes survived thaw/warming, and 68.8% of surviving oocytes were successfully fertilized with a live birth rate of 33.8% 

Although egg freezing has high success rates it is not a guarantee or an insurance policy as some do experience loss during the thawing process. The emotional and psychological impact of potential loss during this stage can be very painful. Before embarking on egg freezing, it is important to be well informed and have realistic expectations regarding the likelihood of future use and outcomes. 

Emotional responses to loss in fertility treatments

Reasons behind wanting or needing to use cryopreservation vary from a young woman who is not yet ready to start a family to someone undergoing medical treatment. The idea of being able to stop the biological clock is not only exciting but can be a relief and bring some peace of mind. But, what happens for those who return to use their cryopreserved oocytes only to come out empty-handed? This unique loss creates intense disappointment, grief, guilt, and stress. 

Grieving and processing the loss

It can be incredibly painful to come to terms with this type of loss. You may feel that options have run out and that the door to parenthood has been closed. Processing this loss is difficult because it can feel invisible. This loss represents the demise of something that never was - this ‘thing’ was only something that was seen with your mind’s eye, your heart, and your soul. Because of the invisibility of this loss, you may feel that your feelings are not being recognized or acknowledged, or that you are not being validated or supported during this time.  

Give yourself some breathing room. Let all the emotions come up and let them be for a bit - it is okay to feel angry, bitter, sad, hurt. These are normal reactions to this type of loss.  We work so hard to avoid or push our emotions away. But how to process loss and how to grieve means to notice our emotions, name them, and allow them to come and go on their own time. 

Seeking support and building a support network

Healthy ways to process emotions can include talking to loved ones and telling them what it is that you need from them. If that does not feel right then start building a support network consisting of online or local support groups composed of people going through the same things. Never underestimate the role of professional support especially by counselors specializing in fertility issues. They can help you manage emotions and give you a safe space to talk. 

Self-care and coping strategies

Explore different methods of self-care that feel right for you such as engaging in hobbies or participating in creative or social activities. These can be anything from journaling, exercising, being in nature etc. 

Summing it up

Egg freezing has afforded women the ability to start a family on their own terms. Science has found a hack to nature’s biological clock. But before embarking on egg freezing and thawing, set realistic expectations. Understand that there can be many different outcomes. And not all have a happy ending. Do your research, ask a lot of questions. And most importantly, be kind to yourself.