Egg Donation for Single Moms by Choice: An Empowering Option for Parenthood

The concept of single motherhood has evolved significantly over the years, with increasing numbers of women opting to start families without a partner. According to Single Moms by Choice (SMC), over half of all people pursuing sperm donation are single mothers. Furthermore, 78% of them are between the ages of 36-45. 

While this decision can be influenced by various personal circumstances, some single women face infertility challenges, necessitating alternative methods to fulfill their dreams of becoming mothers. Egg donation has emerged as an option, providing hope and possibilities for single moms who wish to experience pregnancy and the joys and rewards of raising a child.

This article explores the process of egg donation, its benefits, ethical considerations, and the emotional journey of single mothers who choose this path. By shedding light on this topic, we aim to provide a comprehensive understanding of egg donation for single moms and its potential impact on their lives.

How egg donation works

Egg donation involves a collaborative process that encompasses donor selection, egg retrieval, fertilization, embryo transfer, and pregnancy. It begins with the careful selection and screening of an egg donor, ensuring compatibility with your preferences and medical requirements. Once the donor has been approved by your fertility doctor, we help facilitate all the rest (legal, financial, insurance, and cycle planning). 

The egg donor then undergoes ovarian stimulation to produce multiple mature eggs, which are then retrieved through a minimally invasive procedure. These eggs are then fertilized with donor sperm in a laboratory setting. Finally, one or more viable embryos are transferred to the uterus of the mother (or a gestational carrier), who prepares her body for pregnancy through hormone treatments.

Success rates of donor eggs

The success rates of egg donation for single moms depend on several factors, including the quality and quantity of eggs retrieved, the expertise of the fertility clinic, and the general health of the intended mother. Pre-qualified egg donors typically yield higher success rates due to the higher quality and quantity of their eggs. The experience and proficiency of the fertility clinic in handling the process also significantly influences the outcome. And finally, your health and pregnancy history can impact chances of implantation and live birth. 

The good news is that the chances of success with donor eggs has more to do with the age of the donor than the age of the mother (or gestational carrier). As you can see from the chart below, the chances of getting pregnant per cycle is much higher with donor eggs than your own eggs, and the gap only increases with your age. 

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Read Dr. Meera Shah’s article Donor Egg Success Rates: a Breakdown.

At Cofertility, the average number of mature eggs a family receives and fertilizes is 12. Some intended parents want to do two egg retrievals with the donor which is definitely possible. We also ask each of our donors whether they are open to a second cycle as part of the initial application — many report that they are!

You can see how many eggs are retrieved in the first cycle and go from there. If, for any reason, the eggs retrieved in that round do not lead to a live birth, our baby guarantee will kick in and we’ll re-match you at no additional match deposit or Cofertility coordination fee.

Maternal bricolage

In a Wellesley study exploring the experiences of single mothers by choice who opted for egg donation, an interesting phenomenon emerged: the concept of maternal bricolage. Maternal bricolage refers to the process of choosing and combining the "right materials" (sperm and egg) to create a child who would resemble and connect with the mother and her extended family. 

“Like bricoleurs, they do not create the pieces. Instead, their artistry resides in the selection and arrangement of the pieces in a particular order or geometry. Making the claim to being a creator, inventor, originator, or inspiration and to having shaped the genetic makeup of the embryo was for these women essential to crafting a compelling and socially legitimate claim to motherhood.”

The women interviewed in the study faced difficult choices during the early stages of conception, hoping to create a child who would not feel physically out of place and would share similar interests and traits.

For instance, Jamie, a single mother who gave birth to her son at the age of 43, emphasized the importance of her child not feeling like an outsider. Jamie wanted to ensure her child would not feel physically different from her or their extended family. She recognized the influence of interests and talents, questioning the nature versus nurture debate. By selecting a donor who shared similarities with her, Jamie hoped to provide her child with a sense of familiarity and reduce the potential feeling of being an outsider.

This concept of maternal bricolage highlights the thoughtful and intentional decision-making process of single mothers by choice using egg donation. By actively seeking out donors who possess physical characteristics, personality traits, or talents that align with their own or their family's attributes, they aim to create a sense of belonging and connection for their child, shaping their perception of self-identity and reducing potential challenges associated with being donor-conceived.

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The Wellesley study sheds light on the depth of consideration and care that single mothers invest in the conception process. It reveals their commitment to not only providing a loving and nurturing environment but also striving to create a strong physical and emotional resemblance between themselves and their children. It emphasizes the profound desire to create a family structure that mirrors their own identities and fosters a deep connection between mother and child. 

Benefits of egg donation for single moms

Advanced maternal age, medical conditions affecting fertility, or the absence of a male partner can make it difficult to conceive naturally. Egg donation offers an opportunity to bypass these obstacles and fulfill the desire for motherhood. And for many women, egg donation gives the opportunity to still carry the pregnancy and breastfeed. 

Making the decision to pursue egg donation as an intended single mother can be complex. We recommend all intended parents pursuing donor eggs seek emotional support, whether that’s counseling or support groups. You are not alone. Connecting with other single mothers by choice who have experienced similar journeys can help you better navigate the process and foster emotional readiness.

In that Wellesley study referenced above, participants had this to say about their journeys:

 “I do believe I had a huge role to help the fetus grow and determine what kind of child it would ultimately be because of epigenetics. There were three of us involved—two donors and me—and I believe my input was still significant.” - Jamie

“Wow this egg donor thing doesn’t matter, it just doesn’t matter. She’s my child, she’s 100 percent my child. I carried her. I’ve breastfed her, birthed her. This is not to say that I don’t think about the egg donor but this child is mine.” - Gail

“What’s so crazy about this process is that my daughter would have never existed without me, being as I am the one to connect these two genetic materials.” - Yasmin

Find an amazing egg donor at Cofertility

At Cofertility, our program is unique. After meeting with hundreds of intended parents, egg donors, and donor-conceived people, we decided on an egg donation model that we think best serves everyone involved: egg sharing.

Here’s how it works: our unique model empowers women to take control of their own reproductive health while giving you the gift of a lifetime. Our donors aren’t doing it for cash – they keep half the eggs retrieved for their own future use, and donate half to your family.

We aim to be the best egg sharing program, providing an experience that honors, respects, and uplifts everyone involved. Here’s what sets us apart:

• Baby guarantee. We truly want to help you bring your baby home, and we will re-match you for free until that happens.
• Donor empowerment. Our model empowers donors to preserve their own fertility while lifting you up on your own journey. It’s a win-win.
• Diversity: We’re proud of the fact that the donors on our platform are as diverse as the intended parents seeking to match with them. We work with intended parents to understand their own cultural values — including regional nuances — in hopes of finding them the perfect match.
• Human-centered. We didn’t like the status quo in egg donation. So we’re doing things differently, starting with our human-centered matching platform.
• Lifetime support: Historically, other egg donation options have treated egg donor matching as a one-and-done experience. Beyond matching, beyond a pregnancy, beyond a birth…we believe in supporting the donor-conceived family for life. Our resources and education provide intended parents with the guidance they need to raise happy, healthy kids and celebrate their origin stories.

We are obsessed with improving the family-building journey — today or in the future — and are in an endless pursuit to make these experiences more positive. Create a free account to get started today!

Read more:

• Adoption vs Egg Donation: How Do I Choose?
• I'm Thinking of Using a Sperm Donor...How Does It Work?
• Double Donor IVF: Making Embryos with Donor Eggs and Sperm
• Will I Regret Using Donor Eggs?